Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Lions' 13

Jamie Samuelsen, blogging for the Free Press, thinks that there are at least 13 Lions worth keeping around. The list:

Calvin Johnson
Jason Hanson
Nick Harris
Kevin Smith
Gosder Cherilus
Cliff Avril
Ernie Sims
Cory Redding
Jeff Backus
Dominic Raiola
Jared DeVries
Dan Orlovsky
Dewayne White

What do you think?

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Draft Order

The Lions will have the #1 and #20 picks in the 2009 NFL Draft. You can see the full draft order here, which is subject to change pending the results of the playoffs. Who would you pick?

Monday, December 29, 2008


So, the Lions managed to run the table and finish 0-16, a feat I predicted back about week 8. Now what? Well, first you fire Marinelli. Done. Next, well, who don't you fire? It seems to me that the entire front office should be axed (maybe you can keep a secretary or two around, but I'm not sure) along with the coaching staff and at least 25% of the roster. Then you get on with the business of finding new blood. Obviously, William Clay Ford Sr. doesn't know a thing about being a decent owner, so he needs to bring in someone to make ALL the decisions. Maybe this guy? Hey, the Dolphins have went from 1-15 to the playoffs, so anything is (theoretically) possible.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Dashing Through the Snow

And now it's time to head back to CC. Good thing there's a storm tracking along my exact route.

New Champion

I'll have the weekly scoring updated later, but QB Killers beat Ninja Bulldogs last night to win the 2008 Cass City Monkie Fantasy Football championship.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Question

Detroit News columnist Rob Parker, who asked Marinelli if he wished his daughter had married a better defensive coordinator, said the question was a joke and Marinelli understood that. Or not, based on Marinelli's comments today.

In related news, the Lions still suck, becoming the first NFL team to go 0-15. Just one clutch performance away from history.

How bad is it? Joey feels bad for the Lions: "It's weird to think I was here in the heyday."


Sunday, December 21, 2008

The website is too busy to show the webpage

Okay, who crashed the internet? It's moving so slow I might as well have the data delivered by carrier pigeons. Not that they could get to Iowa with the 35 mph winds and -33 degree wind chill.

Saturday, December 20, 2008


That is the hotline TEXT number for the Cincinnati Bengals to report an unruly fan. It allows fans to send a text message to security officals about the behavior of fans and possibly have them removed.

One reader posted this expected, yet cleaver comment:

"Can you text about your team sucking and have them removed?"

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Bowl season is underway, starting with Navy vs. Wake Forest in the first Eaglebank Bowl. Yeah, I don't know who Eaglebank is either, but who cares?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I Want One

Now that's a chair:


Here's a great quote from an article by Thomas Sowell at NRO:

Will this save Detroit or Michigan? No.

Detroit and Michigan have followed classic liberal policies of treating businesses as prey, rather than as assets. They have helped kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. So have the unions. So have managements that have gone along to get along.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


"He was giving him the business"

Forearm Shiver

RE: Boohoohoo

I think I just made up the word boohoohoo-ing. Let me give some background. At work in Minneapolis it became the custom that when someone was whining you'd give them a big boohoohoo. This is actually pronounced more like wooooo-hooooo-hooo in a high-pitched whine. So correct usage would be something like:

Worker 1: "Man, these cylinders are heavy."
Worker 2: "Boohoohoo."

So basically it means shut up and get to work.


I've seen a lot of writing in the Detroit papers, like this article, boohoohoo-ing about the failure of the auto bailout and lashing out at Congress, Republicans especially, for stopping it. Well, guess what? The majority of the country opposes the bailout, according to a Washington Post-ABC News poll (Hat tip: The Corner). This brought to mind a quote from Patton:

Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser.

In the eyes of most Americans GM, Chrysler, the UAW, Detroit, definitely the Lions, and Michigan as a whole are a bunch of losers. Why would they want to reward a bunch of losers?

Sunday, December 14, 2008


You want to hear something crazy? Today's forecast in Davenport: high of 53º, low of 7º. That's a 46º difference in the space of one day. Less than a day, actually, as that high came this afternoon and the low will be tonight. Sigh.


Almost there...

Terminator Salvation

Starring Batman:

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Wizards in Winter

I saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert today and thought I'd share a bit:

Thursday, December 11, 2008


ESPN is reporting that tension is growing in the Cowboys' locker room between Tony Romo and (who else?) Terrell Owens. Apparently Owens thinks that Romo and Jason Witten are conspiring to keep the ball away from him.


So what was the over/under on Owens going crazy with Dallas?

Tuesday, December 09, 2008


Think you know your NFL football rules, then get your scantran sheet and go. Here's a sneak peek:

Q: When can the first-string QB reenter the game if the third-string quarterback is inserted before the fourth quarter?

Huard: "After the fourth quarter, the first-string quarterback can come in."
Johnson: "You have to declare who your first- and second-string quarterbacks are?"
Pitts: "They're interchangeable. If someone wanted to wake up and start the third quarterback and then put in the first quarterback on the next series, they could."

Correct answer: Never. If the third quarterback is inserted before the fourth quarter, a team's first two quarterbacks cannot be used in the game at any position.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Coming Back

The BCS choosing Oklahoma and Florida to play for the national title has already had one major impact on the college football landscape: Colt McCoy is pissed. Well, I'm assuming he isn't happy about being denied a chance to play for a championship by a team he beat, since he announced today that he intends to return for his senior season. Or maybe he's just trying to steer clear of the soon-to-be 0-16 Lions.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Cruel Fate

The early NFL game here in Davenport this Sunday? Lions vs. Vikings. I may lose my lunch.

Saturday, December 06, 2008


Is anyone else watching the Army-Navy game? Apparently both teams debuted new Nike uniforms. Here's a pic of the Army jersey:

It looks better with a service patch, pants, and helmet. And, yes, you can see them just fine on the field.

UPDATE: Here's a pic of the uniforms in action, from

You can also buy the hat from the website:

I'm more of a Navy guy, but that's a sweet hat.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Quote of the Day

They know more tricks than a carload of monkeys.
-Walter Neff, Double Indemnity

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Lions Move to 0-12

Another great take from Rome. Here's a sneak peek:

First, they jumped out on Tampa Bay 17-0 and I nearly jumped out of a window. But a 17 point lead means nothing to these guys! They manned up, made me proud and allowed 5 unanswered T.D.s’ to lose going away, 38-20. That’s what I’m talking about! That’s the sort of effort it’s going to take to finish this thing. Up by 17, lost by 18. Way to clutch up, fellas’. 1-15 is a wasted season, men. 0-16 puts you in the Hall of Fame. Forever! They’ll never be able to take that away from you. Or, me. From us…“man down”, and finish this thing.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Big (12) Mess

Ivan Maisel has a good article up about the situation in the Big 12. The heat is going to be on the BCS, but it's really the conference's fault for using the BCS as a tie breaker. I found this website that lists the tie breakers for the BCS conferences. The Big 12 had to go down to the fifth tie breaker to send Oklahoma to the the championship game. But if they used a different set of tie breakers, say the Big Ten's, the results could have been different. The third tie breaker in the Big Ten is least number of Div. I-AA (FCS) schools played. By my count Texas Tech played two, Oklahoma played one, and Texas played... zero. Texas would be going to the Big 12 championship game, and no one would get to complain about the BCS. Doesn't that sound easier?

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Texas education board asked to stay strict on evolution

"Only one model — the theory of evolution — is widely accepted, and any other model should not be used in the science classroom," Eberle said. "Students are easily impressed and are not often able to comprehend the complexity of adult arguments."

Right, because explaining to a kid that we came from monkies isn't at all complex.


This is a great commentary from Gregg Esterbrook at ESPN Page 2's TMQ. You have to scroll down quite a bit until "Oh No! Gasoline Prices Are Falling!" It's about 1/3 of the way down. Here's a teaser:

Many people's houses have declined in value in the last two years, but most people haven't lost a dime because they haven't sold -- just as many people's houses rose in value from 2002 to 2006 but most people did not gain, again because they did not sell.

Honolulu Blues

Colt McCoy is planning on seeking input from the NFL before deciding his future. I try not to read reader comments, but this was too funny...and true:

he is basically saying, he will check to see if the Lions are interested in him, and if they are he will stay for senior year, who would want to play for them?

Rome Classic

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

250 to 30, Good Odds For Any Marine

This is a great story which I'm sure you'll never see on the news. Thirty marines were ambushed by 250 insurgents, and the Marines won the day with no serious injuries. One marine killed 20 enemies himself. I believe the only thing you can say to that is "Ooh-rah!" (Hat tip: The Corner)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Monday, November 24, 2008


Anybody doing anything Wednesday, Friday, or Saturday night? I should be in town.

Saturday, November 22, 2008


Dissing Your Dog

Probably my all-time favorite

Check more out here.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Biggest Win since???

Wow. 55-52 UM upsets #4 UCLA. When was the last time Michigan basketball pulled off a top 10 upset, let alone actually competed against a top tier team?

UPDATE: So much for using that big win to get your team ready for the Dukies.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

"They're dead men walking."

Here's some excerpts from WBNS 1460 AM's "The Big Show", which had an interview with Chris Spielman and Kirk Herbstreit, provided by the Detroit News. I think it's pretty good, but some of you may not like it. I definitely agree with Spielman: "I love seeing them beaten down."

“You have to burn them down and start over.”

More bailout talk.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Chapter 11, part 2

There's a lot of great information about the Big Three in this post at the Corner by Jim Manzi, but I think his graph pretty well sums it up:

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Citizen Soldier

Saw this before Quantum of Solace and thought it was worth sharing:


Is the NFL starting to bore anyone else? It's partly the league itself, but the telecasts definitely aren't helping. Here's a few things that have been annoying me:

1. Pace of the game: A better way to put this would be "too many commercials". I can barely stay awake during an NFL game because of the amount of ads. Pay attention to how much time it takes from a score to when the other team gets the ball. Score. Commercial. Kickoff. Commercial. It's ridiculous. Also, do we really need to see the same commercial 10 times during a game? I think I can recite Nissan's ad word for word.

2. Challenge system: The NFL challenge system is far inferior to the one in use in college. How is this possible? Copy the college system and scrap the current one.

3. Boooring: You know what the NFL's signature play is? A short pass on third and long. I understand why coaches feel the need to play it safe, but I'm still going to change the channel.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Quote of the Day

Some teachers were standing around talking after school today. A particular teacher and his wife have...not been communicating well lately. He would like to spend more time hunting, she thinks he's obsessed too much with the activity. Anyway, a collegue had these words of wisdom for the stubborn man (whom I might add has been sleeping on the couch...and apparently proud of his determination not to speak first):

Jeff, God has been really working on her lately...(pause) and Satan has been working on you.

Chapter 11

Here's some of the clearest writing I've read about GM and bankruptcy. Worth your time.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Floating Tigers

Forwarded to me by a former coworker who we sometimes called "El Tigre":

Sunday, November 09, 2008


The Texas Tech Red Raiders scored on seven-straight possessions last night. Quarterback Graham Harrell's stat line looked like this: 40/50, 456 yds, 6 TDs, 0 INT. That's like a video game. On easy. With penalties turned off.

Saturday, November 08, 2008


After fighting with SAP all week, this seems appropriate:

Friday, November 07, 2008

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Joking Around

I'm not one for practical jokes or the like, but I had to play one yesterday. After Michigan's loss I was reading some commentary and almost felt bad for the Wolverines. Then I had an idea, and could barely keep a smile off my face. I picked up a sympathy card while at Target, similar to the one pictured. I then signed it "Consolations on the demise of your 33-year bowl streak and 40-year non-losing season streak." When I went in to work the next morning I stopped by at the UM fan's desk and dropped off the card.

"What's this?"

"Just open it."

(opens) "You jerk."

Then he laughed pretty hard, so everything was cool. I may be an amateur at this sort of thing, but I think this one might almost be worthy of Ump.

Monday, November 03, 2008


Iverson for Chauncey Billups, Antonio McDyess and Cheikh Samb? Why?

Sunday, November 02, 2008


...what does anyone know about the "Illuminati?"

Just A Thought

I think Texas Tech vs. Penn State in the BCS Championship Game would be fantastic. I don't mean just that it would be a good game, but I think it would be great for college football to see someone besides Ohio State, USC, LSU, Florida, or Oklahoma in the title game. Plus, if TT were able to win a championship, would all the (old) commentators have to stop looking down on the spread offense?


Apparently the Badger defense wasn't the only thing Javon Ringer was battling on Saturday. He had a virus that caused him to lose 10 pounds in a matter of days. And he still scored 2 TDs.

Credit Where It's Due

After the 25-24 win over Wisconsin, Jerry Green is finally giving the Spartans some credit. He also mentions an interesting fact that you might not know if you didn't watch the broadcast yesterday. If MSU and PSU win all of their games going into the final week of Big 10 play, the winner of that game would win the Big 10 championship. This is because the first tie-breaker that matters between MSU, PSU, and OSU is whether the team played a I-AA school. MSU didn't, so they have the edge. Of course, the likely scenario is that Penn State wins and goes to the National Title game, Ohio State goes to the Rose Bowl to be embarrassed again by USC, and MSU goes to the Capital One Bowl.

"Michigan needed a different coach."

Obviously there's been some discontent in Ann Arbor, but this is the first article I've read saying that UM hired the wrong coach. So, is Lynn Henning alone, or is this going to become a theme?

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Culpepper's A Lion

So, Daunte Culpepper signed a 2-year deal with the Lions. I think I might be done with the Lions. They won't give Stanton a chance to start and then they bring in a quarterback who hasn't been even moderately successful since a serious injury. What a bunch of losers. Let's disband the team and start over. Maybe with Mike Ilitch as owner.

Quote of the Day

Wow. A game like that keeps you alive.
-Mark Dantonio, after a 25-24 win over Wisconsin


If Lions offensive coordinator Jim Colletto is afraid that Drew Stanton will embarrass himself if given the chance to start, what exactly does he think the rest of the Lions offense is doing right now? They're not exactly covering themselves in glory. I'm pretty sure he's the one who ought to be embarrassed.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Spoiled Brats

I don't know if any had heard about this. I received this in an email, so I don't really know if it is true:

No matter what your political convictions are this is an eye opener....

David Letterman on President Bush

David Letterman wrote this; it's the David we don't often see....

' As most of you know I am not a President Bush fan, nor have I ever been, but this is not about Bush, it is about us, as Americans, and it seems to hit
the mark

'The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some Poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with
the performance of the President. In essence 2/3 of the citizenryust ain't happy and want a change. So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What are we so unhappy about?''

A.. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week?

B.. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?

C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?

D.. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Oceanwithout having to present identification papers as
we move through each state?

F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough either.

H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.

J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.

K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.

L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

M.. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?

Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?

Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day. Make no mistake about it.

The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an 'other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable' ' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?

Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts.
How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!

Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.' 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

David Letterman

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

I Love Soccer

Check out the comments section of this blog from the Huron Daily Tribune. You do not really have to read the article...or even look at the pictures. Pay attention to the first comment after the story/pictures. It's from me. I also posted one other comment pretending I was J-Stew and Travis Rodgers. Classic. It was all meant as a joke. Nothing degrading to the kids or school involved. In fact, since Paul Adams wrote the story, the comment was really only intended for him because I know he is a Jim Rome clone, so I thought he might catch the humor. Guess not, "ALLEDGEDLY"

Voters in Harlem

Found this on another blog.

What took so long

Before this joke gets old, I better get my chance to say it:

(Clearing my throat...) That was the longest baseball game ever. By the time Game 5 ended, I think Jamie Moyer was 72 years old (actually he ONLY turns 46 on 11/18). Wow, 46?!?! When I'm 46, I hope I can still throw snowballs at people in Deckerville after my kids basketball games. (I just realized something, my wife teaches at Deckerville...that was a fun night.)


The Lions don't seem to want to give Drew Stanton a chance to start, but they're taking a look at Daunte Culpepper? I think they just might run the table.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Not-Quite-Random Thoughts

A few thoughts on Saturday and the news today:

-I liked Wojo's article in the News.

-There's also a great interactive panoramic picture of the game up as well.

-Does every mention of Javon Ringer have to include the phrase "dark horse"? His name isn't Javon Dark Horse Ringer. The sports media is drooling over Colt McCoy and the Longhorns, so let's not pretend there's a serious chance at Ringer getting the Heisman. Any shot at that was blown in the OSU game.

-There's not much point in ripping on Earnest Graham, but Chris Spielman made a great point during the game. He said that, essentially, there's no consequences for making a guarantee, other than minor teasing, so it's nothing but a cheap gimmick to try and get your team fired up. That's exactly what's annoyed me about that kind of thing since I can first remembering hearing it. A guarantee with no penalty for being wrong is worthless.

-I was waiting for some classic UM fan response today, and I found it in an article by Jerry Green. The short version of the article is that because Michigan isn't very good, MSU's victory doesn't really count. Typical. Hockey's a big deal when Michigan can win the title, but as soon as MSU wins the title UM fans say hockey doesn't matter. Just the same way basketball apparently doesn't matter anymore since Izzo and the Spartans have exiled the Wolverines to irrelevance. If Michigan's not good, it doesn't count? Where are you going to run next, UM fan, field hockey?

-Green also said the game only proved MSU is "fleabag-bowl eligible, nothing better." I guess we'll see about that, but while I'm watching MSU play in the Fleabag Bowl (on New Year's Day) I'll be sure to cast a thought towards the Michigan Wolverines sitting at home. And I'll laugh.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Victory for MSU!

"Go green! Go white!" echoing through the Big House was about the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.


Put this on my Christmas list.

Good Night

I was nearly perfect in my hypothetical perdiction that Cass City would meet Almont in week 9 with both teams at a 5-3 record. Well, CC was 5-3 and Almont was 6-2. Unfortunately for CC, Almont wasn't trying to rest their starters for the playoffs and whooped CC 42-21. So, after a 5-0 start, they lose 4 straight and fail to make the playoffs. Thanks.


Week 6 @ BC All-Saints - Had the lead just before halftime, bad things happened, could not bounce back. Lost 31-14.

Week 7 @ Vassar - Winning 12-0 in the first quarter and then it was 18-14 in the 2nd Quarter. However, it was then 18-41 in the 4th quarter and Vassar eventually won 41-38.

Week 8 v Laker - Down 13-14 just before halftime. 13-21 at the Half. Then 27-21 in favor of CC to start the 4th quarter. Lakers win 34-27.

Stop playing football with your hands around your throat!

Thursday, October 23, 2008


Do you know what "hubris" means? Overweening pride, self-confidence, or arrogance. And there's no team, or group of fans, that's traditionally displayed this trait more than the Michigan Wolverines.

Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a group of angry young men wearing green and white. Hubris has provoked nemesis, and it's time for Michigan to pay.

I wrote earlier in the week that Rob Parker was exactly right when he wrote that the Spartans must rout the Wolverines. I would go further. Some of the Michigan players have talked about getting back on track on Saturday, getting a winning streak going and earning a bowl berth. They're hosting their biggest recruiting weekend of the season. The Spartans have to crush their spirits and their bodies. Break them. They need to finish off the wounded rodent. No mercy. Fifty years from now, old Michigan fans in their rocking chairs should wince when they remember the beating the Wolverines took on 10/25/2008. I want to hear the Wolverine fans crying, even here in Iowa. Plant the Spartan flag (metaphorically speaking). Give them nothing. But take from them, everything!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

"The Spartans have to smash the Wolverines."

Rob Parker is exactly right.

A slightly altered quote from Conan this brought to mind:

Spartan Fan: Dantonio! What is best in life?
Dantonio: To crush the Wolverines, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their fans.
Spartan Fan: That is good! That is good.

Monday, October 20, 2008

“I’m sorry, but your mercy is in another Italian plumber!”

This is the funniest thing I read all weekend. There's a little bit of language, but if you've played Super Mario Bros. and know a little bit about politics, it's hilarious.

Friday, October 17, 2008

"I really believe we're a work in progress."

The Detroit News has a great article up about Spartan head coach Mark Dantonio. Lots of interesting stuff, like how Dantonio and his assistants have completely turned around recruiting in Detroit in just 2 years.

The Shape of Things to Come

The Wall Street Journal has an excellent editorial up about what the future holds if Obama is elected. Read on, if you dare.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Stupid Question

When Roy Williams was asked yesterday about being traded, he called it a "stupid question". Not so stupid, apparently, as the Lions traded Roy to the Dallas Cowboys this afternoon for 2nd-round draft picks in 2009 and 2010. The Lions also put Kitna on IR.

UPDATE: As Aaron points out in the comments, the actual deal is for 1st-, 3rd-, and 6th-round picks in 2009. The original article was posted before the official announcement. The information in the linked article has been updated.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Captain Wayne-O Fon-tez

How bad is it for the Lions? Bad enough for people to be longing for the Wayne Fontes's Lions. Yeah, it's that bad.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008


I just heard about this on Sunday (yeah, I've been under a rock apparently). I happened to remember and figured I could find it on YouTube since I haven't seen it yet. Wow.


The experts always say that the only offense that will work in the NFL is the basic pro set stuff that we say every Sunday. Sure, you might run a west coast flavor or something like Mike Martz, but it's all pretty similar. Don't dare bring up the spread or other "gimmick" offenses. Players in the NFL are just too big, fast, smart, etc for that kind of thing to work. So why is Miami having such success mixing in the wildcat (or single wing) offense? Are the experts wrong? Could some of the diversity that makes college football fun to watch work in the NFL if it was given a chance?

Monday, October 06, 2008

The Perfect Season

Well, now that the Lions have reached the end of the 1st quarter of the season at a horrific 0-4, can we start talking about them running the table? Mike O'Hara breaks down the rest of the season here and the chances of the Lions winning each game. I think he's a little optimistic; he gives the Lions a 33% of beating the 'Skins. Seriously? Anyway, in this unpredictable NFL season, could the Lions be bad enough to make it through winless?

Saturday, October 04, 2008


Are you kidding? No. Cass City fell last night to BC All-Saints for their first loss of the season. That puts them at 5-1. You need six "W's" to get to the "party." No biggie. Except, every team left on the schedule, including last nights, is going to be tough. Let's say they lose the next two and head to Almott for week 9 and a 5-3 record. Well, Almott is currently 4-2 (they lost to a team last night that hadn't won a game all year...go figure). The odds are good Almott wins in week 7 and loses in week 8, setting up their own 5-3 record pitted against Cass City's 5-3 total. Need more? Almott came to Cass City last year for week 9 and took home a 23-12 victory. Almott is good. Can Cass City get the biggest win of their life AT Almott against a team also looking for the 6th "W?"

Wednesday, October 01, 2008


I'm not talking about your feelings on the bailout plan, nor the upcoming election, nor any act of starvation or murder in the world. No I'm talking about an OPERA Singer beating out Nuttin But Stringz in the Finale of America's Got Talent. There had to been a glitch in the system. Far as I am concerned I will never recognize Neil as the winner. What an Injustice. I will now try my hand at posting the winners of America's Got Talent 2008 Top 5 (and winning) performance. Enjoy and Congradutions to Nuttin But Stringz. Here you go.

Monday, September 29, 2008


Seems like I've seen this guys somewhere before:

Photo from the Lansing State Journal.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Best Ever...

Woodson's INT is still pretty good.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Blue, what's the count?

What? How is this possible? I've umpired a few games before, and I can't say this has even come close to happening. Did EVERYONE fall asleep at the wheel? Seriously, EVERYONE. Even the loud, opera singing hotdog guy knew it was 3-2.

First team to 80, wins

Has anyone heard about this? It makes sense. It works very well in Texas and other states. But, be ready for teams to score 80-100 points PER GAME!

Walken Family Reunion

Okay, seriously, who hasn't tried to improve their Walken impression. Wow!

"Not God-given"


That's David Blaine. Enough said. Did anyone see the latest stupid stunt he did Wednesday night? All he pretty much does is these "magical" stunts. Well, according to news releases (I actually didn't see it live) and footage I saw on YouTube, he's a "balloon" of a fraud...pun intended. No wonder Stuart Scott wasn't the host/Emcee of the latest hyped event.

You Asked for It

I don't know, but something green. Wow!

Thursday, September 25, 2008


As a "Jim Rome Show" listener I have heard a lot of talk about some guy from Cal who got "blown up" by a Maryland player. I didnt see it or hear about so I decided to check it out on You Tube. He not only gets "lit up" he also loses his breakfast. Check it out. I am not smart enough to put in a link or have time to figure it out so you will have to do it the hard way. Get over it, it will be worth it.

Here's what I need to know:

Who was the next guy to get tackled in that spot?
Did they break out the powder stuff like the new "heath teacher" would have to do?


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Todd Jones...

...announced today that he is retiring. A quote:

"So this is it. If you’re a Tigers fan, I’ll never stress you out again. If you’re not a Tigers fan, you’ll never have me as your ace in the hole, convinced I’ll blow a lead against your team."

That's funny stuff.

Millen Done

Matt Millen has been relieved of his duties as GM of the Detroit Lions. The only surprise in this is that Ford Sr. actually pulled the trigger, perhaps pushed by his son's comments that he would fire Millen if it were up to him.

The Lions were 31-84 under Millen, so there's not a whole lot that can be said in his defense. That being said, I'm already a little annoyed reading some of the coverage, especially the topics of talent and drafting.

Talent: The News ran an article in the past week saying that the Lions had no talent at all. I'm no NFL expert, but it seems there were plenty of people picking the Lions to be pretty decent this year. Obviously they've started very poorly, and I doubt they're going to turn it around, but I can't believe the the team is completely awful. Big holes? Yeah. Should they be better? Definitely. But I don't think you can say the cupboard is bare.

Drafting: You can hold all the WRs picked against Millen. Taking that many WRs with top picks was not a wise move. But don't tell all the picks were bad. Charles Rogers was a good pick at the time, who made an impact in his first game... then got hurt. Joey Harrington didn't work out, but you can't fault the pick. Kevin Jones was great before he was injured, which is a possibility for an young back.

Maybe I'm just annoyed at all the joy at the firing. Sure, it needed to happen, but it'd be nice if the critics didn't feel the need to exaggerate to make a point.


Lynn Henning of the Detroit News says that Michigan can't possibly be as bad as they've appeared to be so far this season. A quote: "The Wolverines have enough players and skill to win more games than they lose in 2008." Okay, I'm willing to admit that's entirely possible, but aren't they starting a walk-on at QB? Talent-filled college teams aren't usually helmed by walk-ons, at least based on what I've seen. I don't read up much on the UM football team, are others saying the same thing?

Monday, September 22, 2008


Check out these highlights of the MSU-ND game. The plays are great, but it's the press conference footage at the end that does it for me. Javon Ringer brings the entire offensive line to the podium and gives them credit for the win and his stats. Sure, backs give the line credit sometimes, but that really stood out.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Just Wrong

It's Sunday afternoon and the local Fox affiliate, after showing the Bears game, has on... beach volleyball.

Every Sunday during the season, CBS and Fox should show 2 games each afternoon, no matter which market you're in. Anything else is plain stupid. Sure, the NFC games aren't that great right now, but they've gotta draw better than volleyball. TV is run by morons.

UPDATE: Just to be clear, it's women playing volleyball, and they're almost wearing clothes. I guess that explains why Fox thinks it's broadcastable, but it's still not right.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Quote of the Day

This was in a Moline newspaper, but I also found a story that contained the quote here.

Turns out there's a tiger, and I understand he's hungry ... so we're staying away from him.
-Galveston County Judge Jim Yarbrough

If I can use that quote during work tomorrow it will make my day.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Thoughts from Saturday (and Friday)

A couple of thoughts on the college football action in the past week:

-How great is it that the South Florida Bulls have a WR named Taurus Johnson?

-Six turnovers by the Wolverines? Coach Rodriguez said "... the players are really trying." Not hard enough apparently.

-I have to give it to Ohio State, they did the best impression of Michigan in a bowl game that I've ever seen.

-I don't know that I've ever seen a football player look as tired Javon Ringer did after his 43 carry, 282 yd performance against FAU. Well, maybe I should say RB, Fritz used to look that bad after running gassers (so did I).

-According to Andy, they ran out of panchos in East Lansing. I know it rained nearly the entire game, but that's still sounds crazy.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Grow Up

A quote from Felicia Young from an AP article on Vince Young and his emotional issues:

But we’re not talking about football right now. We’re talking about what would make him happy, and that is the most important thing.

Oh grow up. Lots of people, myself included, aren't happy with their jobs, and most don't get paid millions of dollars to do them. We still show up to work, like adults. Spoiled children run and hide, which is exactly what Young is doing. I'm sure getting booed by an NFL crowd is no fun, but what else is he going to do? He hasn't finished his degree and I'd be surprised if he has any significant work experience. So stop crying and do your job.

One more thing: if your mom's talking about how you're "hurting inside and out" the the press, you just might have to turn in your man card.

UPDATE: By the time I finished typing this the article disappeared, replaced with a new one about how Young showed up to practice today. Good for him. The nearest I can find to the original article is this.

Monday, September 08, 2008


Tom Brady will miss the rest of the season with a knee injury. Unless, of course, this is another trick by Belichick and the Pats, who still won't say what Brady's injury actually is. But that would be pretty crazy. (So you're sayin' there's a chance?) Anyway, the Pats will start Matt Cassel, who will not repeat Brady's amazing ascension to NFL superstar.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Quote of the Day

If I had a rotator cuff, I could pat myself on the back like you.
-Howie Long, to Jimmy Johnson

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

100 Combines

From an email I received today:

Record setting harvest done in 2008, in Norton , Kansas. 160 acres were harvested with 100 combines and several grain trucks in 10 minutes and 15 seconds.

This record will be entered in the Guinness Book of World Records. Proceeds of this crop will be sent to a kids' camp.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Fantasy Draft, Part Deux

Sounds like there's interest in doing a fantasy draft party again. Would the evening of 8/31 (Sunday) work? I'm driving back on Monday and Saturday night is Spartan football, so that seems to be the best night to me. Who wants to host? The Stoeckle residence of Cass City is open if we want to party there, but if one of you homeowners wants to host that would be great too. Any other thoughts?

Here's some resources to help you get ready, if you're going to:
-Funston's Big Board Top 100
-Rotter's Top 500 (Probably the default list for the draft, due to it's size) Top 200 Cheat Sheet (pdf file)
-ESPN Live Draft Results
-Projected Looks and Touches
-Fox Sports Average Draft Position

UPDATE: Added more resources.

UPDATE 2: Added another resource. Seriously, you should be good to go.

UPDATE 3: I'm working on a spreadsheet for the draft, I'll post it here when it's done so it's easily available. How would everyone feel about me doing the random picks for position before the draft so that I could enter team names before it started? Also, just to be sure, can we hook the laptop we're using up to the TV, or are we just going to go without?

UPDATE IV: One more resource.

UPDATE V: THE UPDATE STRIKES BACK Here's the spreadsheet, as much as is done anyway.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Throwing Hankies

Check this quote out. In reference to MLB using instant replay starting on Thursday, Cubs manager Lou Piniella wondered whether a team could challenge a call. "I'd love to be able to throw a red hankie or a green hankie. Imagine being able to throw something on the field and not be ejected," he said. "I shouldn't say it's not going to work, but this could turn into a little bit of a fiasco initially."

You know what, I'll be spontaneous, why not post a little video in tribute to Coach Lou.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Dangers of YouTube

One of my coworkers has a daughter in dance. Apparently at the recital the fathers had a dance of their own. This coworker participated and his wife taped it. It was posted on YouTube. So far, good. Then, another coworker stumbled across the video. A mass email went out, hilarity ensues. Moral of the story: be careful what you post on the internet, it may come back and get you (say, at the daily production meeting).

Too Good

Here's a story for you little league folks: Youth baseball officials in New Haven, CT dissolved and 8 and 9-year-old team because it's coach refused to sit his star pitcher, who was deemed "too good". The team went 8-0, but the players were moved to other teams and won't play in the playoffs. All of the players refused to go, now there's a lawsuit. By the way, the second place team is run by the league officials who dissolved the unbeaten team. Hmmm. (Hat tip: Jack Fowler at The Corner)

Friday, August 22, 2008

The Fountains at the Bellagio


I'm only an amateur film maker so far.

Winter Olympics 2010

I hope this works, it's my first uploaded video. That's me at Boyne Highlands.

"And here we go"

Finally, the Cass Theater is showing "The Dark Knight." Only took him 5 weeks to get it. I've never been more excited to see a movie for a second time. In fact, this marks the first time I've ever seen the same movie twice in the theater. The odds are also good that I'll watch it twice in CC. Probably on "bargin night."

In other related bat and olympic news, Haag took home the Gold last night (3:00am) knocking his 6th bat out of the air and onto the kitchen floor. It was actually a tie for Gold, but extra points were given for use of the tennis racket.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Donkey Kong Jenga

This looks pretty cool:


Mike O'Hara thinks that the Lions will go at least 9-7. Not necessarily playoffs, but enough wins to put them close. Is he crazy? Kitna sounded crazy last year, and just when it looked like the team might be able to deliver, they collapsed. Expectations aren't quite so high this year, but can they manage it?

Monday, August 18, 2008


That's the score after Team USA smacked down Chris Kaman and Team Deutschland, knocking them out of the tournament. Team USA will advance to the quarterfinals versus Australia and Chris Kaman will return home to be jeered by crowds all next season.

Sunday, August 17, 2008


No, that title wasn't a teasing attempt to make you read the post thinking it would be something about James Bond. I'm sure we've all seen the video and heard about super fish Mike Phelps winning his 36th gold medal on Friday night...or Saturday afternoon depending on where you one-one hundredth of a second.

But, what if the laser timers actually measured to the thousandth. What I'm trying to say is, what if Phelps actually won by 0.007 seconds, but the laser timer (since it only measures in hundredths of a second) rounded up to the nearest hundredth of a second, marking the win differential by 0.01 seconds. Heck, he may have touched 0.005 seconds sooner than the other guy...who will inevitably be kicking himself for the rest of his life if he had just taken another half stroke.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Looking for a date?

Check this story out about arguably the world's strongest woman. Not only that, but read some of the comments. I've posted one for you:

"A woman after my own heart. One that can lift the truck up and hold it there while I rotate the tires and change the oil......."



Remember how Michael Vick had lots of money before going to prison? Not anymore. Is it that hard to find good help?

Friday, August 15, 2008

Funny Because It's True

All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to Business School.
-Guenter the monkey, "Mars University", Futurama

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Where there's smoke, there's fire

Just to steal a popular phrase used by the Pimp in the Box, check out this story. First off, do you really need a passport to tell these girls aren't 16? Just look at them. If they even are 16...disgusting. EAT!!! I mean, how do you not take one look at them and not say CHEATERS. Again, I'm not an Olympic guy, but Fritz got it start, so now it's on.

It's also a fun article to read because the girls first name is He, which makes it difficult to understand if the person writing is talking about men's or women's gymnastics. Kind of a "Who's on First" thing. Kind of.

Sights for Sore Eyes

I thought I might take some time to post pictures. I don't have cheesy stories to go with them, but hopefully a caption to shed some light on the photo.

The sunset at Grand Canyon.

The end of the thin trail you see running below on the right side of picture would have taken about 4 hours to hike and would have eventually taken us to the Colorado River.

Yes, he's real...and real close. Never know what you'll see when hiking at the Grand Canyon.

The "Strip" at night...from atop the "World's Highest Restaurant" at the Stratosphere.

This pic was taken in Canada in Sept. of '07. I couldn't remember if I posted this before. How "a-boat" that Bald Eagle, 'eh?

This pic was sent to me from Adam via MSN messenger in the fall of 2000, I believe.

Rat-brained Robots

I'm not sure if this is cool or disturbing. Maybe both.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Olympics are Great.

As a teen, with only antenna TV I remember being glued to the olympics when it was on. Particularly Barcelona, Lilyhammer, etc. As of recent years I dont hardly remember a thing, Sydney, Athens, Etc. However, this time I'm hooked. Maybe it's got a lot to do with the freak of nature Phelps but none the less, its got me.

Second Reason has got to the Jim Rome show. If you have a chance to listen or to read the takes or whatever. The show has been awesome during these games. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that

Canada has a big fat ZERO in the medal count and well the USA is just Big & Fat
Its the Olympics not a Org.........5,000 Male Olympians, 5,000 Female Olympians = 100,000 Gloves for the unit.
Phelps washing down 3 egg sandwiches with an omelet, bowl of grits, french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes, and 1000 calories worth of energy drinks and thats just breakfast.
Michael Phelps = George Murason
Canada vs USA.....numerous, numerous emails.

If you've got a chance, tune in, or do whatever you can to listen this week. Well worth the time.


The round Bacon around my neck.

Say Hello to the Bad Guy

Want more proof that Russia is determined to be the bad guy again? Take a look at this list from John O'Sullivan's article in today's New York Post:

In recent years, the Russian state has:

* Been credibly accused of murdering an exile in London;

* Expropriated foreign investments on behalf of an energy company controlled by itself;

* Cut off energy supplies to other states as a means of political intimidation, and

* Assisted secessionist rebels in neighboring states in order to keep their newly independent governments off balance.

Plus, of course, it has now - no more Mr. Nice Guy - invaded and bombed the sovereign state of Georgia.

Also, you can read another great article on the subject by Melik Kaylan at the Wall Street Journal.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


There's a new post at Monkie's Progress. Yes, it's been a while.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Return of History

This is the best article I've read so far on Russia attacking Georgia. Frightening though.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

My Desk At Work

In case you're wondering, that's Hank Scorpio.


Want to know why the Olympics is a joke? Read this story about LA Clippers Center, and former CMU player, Chris Kaman. The short version: Kaman is playing basketball in the Olympics... for Germany. Somehow this is legal; the article gives the impression that you could apply for citizenship in Germany and then be allowed to play. I don't care much about Olympic basketball, but as a sports fan and an American, that's pretty disgusting.

"Never batted an eye."

This is a pretty funny story.


According to Fox News, scientists at UC-Berkeley have developed a material that can bend light around objects. This means that the technology to turn people or objects invisible might have just arrived from a science fiction story. Maybe we are living in the future.

Thursday, August 07, 2008


So, Brett Favre is the new QB for the NY Jets. Bad news for Chad Pennington. I've been a big Favre fan until now, but I can't wish him well with his new team. This whole thing stinks. Favre's tarnished his image with this ugly episode, and it's pretty tough to root for a NY team anyway. I think I'm going to be an anti-Jets fan this year.


So, Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is in jail. What took so long?

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Fantasy Draft

So, what's everyone thinking for the 2008 Cass City Monkie Fantasy Football Draft (we should get a corporate sponsor)? Would people like to try and do a party? Should we try something else? I'm sure there's not many good online draft times available, but we could probably come up with something else if necessary. I might potentially be able over Labor Day weekend. We can also discuss how to set up the draft. Was the random order satisfactory for everyone?

Also, we've added one new player this year, brother-in-law Joe. We're still short 4 players at the moment, so some of you (probably not the ones reading) need to sign-up.

Funny Stuff

Okay, I'm going to do something I never thought I'd do: post a Paris Hilton video on the blog. No wait, it's funny, not that other stuff.

Seriously, how strange is this election going to get by November?

Zoo Tax

Hey Andy, how does it feel to now be partly responsible for keeping the Detroit Zoo afloat? Maybe, if you're lucky, you can get free admission to see the snow monkeys.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Coach to Lions: You Suck

Okay, that's not quite what offensive coordinator Jim Colletto told the Lions, but he did say that he didn't think they were mentally tough enough to run the ball, and that's just about the same thing.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Friday, August 01, 2008

The One

This is hilarious:

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Two Quotes

I read these two quotes and thought they'd be pretty funny when put next to each other:

"I have become a symbol of the possibility of America returning to our best traditions."
-Senator Barack Obama

"He said something, yesterday, basically, that he embodies everything good about America. Well, you know, it's good to have self-confidence. But you can, maybe, go too far."
-Senator Lindsey Graham

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Pudge to Yankees

It must be a sad day in the Barrigar household.

Does bringing Farnsworth back really help the Tigers? Do they need another struggling pitcher in the bullpen? At 5 1/2 games back, have the Tigers quit?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Kwame Brown?

Uh, I hope Dumars has something else up his sleeve, because I'm not sure he can convince anyone that Kwame Brown is the answer. Not to any of the questions the Pistons are asking anyway.

Reform Michigan Government Now

You've probably heard about this ballot initiative in Michigan, and maybe it even sounds good. But here's the inside scoop. Bottom line, it's a trick to give control of the state government to Democrats. To quote Admiral Ackbar: "It's a trap!"

Friday, July 18, 2008

The Dark Knight

Wow, that was intense.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Want to feel old?

Die Hard was released twenty years ago today. Hat tip: (Dirty Harry's Place)

Monday, July 14, 2008

It's Getting Interesting

So now Favre is speaking out about his desire to play this season. Here's a line that caught my eye:

And while Favre said the Packers asked him for a list of teams to which he would accept a trade, he wants to be released to make sure he ends up on a competitive club.

Except, you see, that's not how the game's played. Players, even stars, don't just get to decide where they're going to play. It's not in the Packers interest to release Favre, and I don't think they should. And whatever Favre is saying, it certainly looks like he's using his retirement to maneuver his way on to a team he thinks will be a contender. This is going from interesting to ugly very quickly.

New Blue

Okay, I was all ready to make fun of UM's new football uniforms, but they're really not that bad. They didn't make any changes to the blue uniform, which is good since most would consider it one of the "untouchables" in college football. The white is uglier than it was, but not near as bad as many you see out there (I'm looking at you, Oregon). And I do kind of like the idea of having a saying from a former coach on the inside; I'd love MSU to have some words from Duffy on the uniforms. The biggest shock was that Michigan signed with Adidas. The funniest part of writing this? This was one of the top ten results on Yahoo! when I searched for "michigan jersey".

Stat of the week...sorta

This is actually a "just realized this week it was a stat." I found this on from an article Jason Stark wrote.

DYK (Did You Know):

• Quiz show of the week: The sports-humor site featured a poll last week asking readers to name the most memorable moment in Tampa Bay Rays' history. Our favorite choice:

1998: The team signs Fred McGriff after Tom Emanski refuses the manager job.

If only I could remember how much we made fun of those infomercials during Mr. Guza's class.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Batman vs. Joker

Just a little something to get you warmed up for The Dark Knight:

Saturday, July 12, 2008


Officially, Brett Favre is retired. But that's not stopping him from repeating the same Hamlet act he performed last year when he was considering retiring and decided to play another year; he's just approaching it from the opposite side. Favre reportedly wants to return to the NFL this season. Obviously, this puts the Packers in a tight spot. They've committed to Aaron Rodgers, so if Favre requests to be removed from the retired list and returned to active, they'll either have to trade him or release him. To make it more interesting, two of the most interested teams might be ones in the division. Yikes.

I think it's realistic to expect that Favre has another season in him, but this second-guessing it pretty ridiculous. It's never going to be easy to leave the game and he picked a good time to get out. So stay out. I don't think anyone wants to see a past-his-prime Brett Favre struggling with another team.

UPDATE: Apparently, Favre has decided he wants to play this season and asked the Packers for a release. The Packers have refused. This is gonna get interesting.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Absolute Truth

There's some things in life that simply have to be done correctly. One of these things is putting toilet paper on the spool. Obviously, there's a right and a wrong way to do this, but now we have scientific proof as to which way is correct. Sort of. Anyway, if you're confused, follow the link and check out the diagrams. It's the most important thing you'll do today. (Hat tip: Jonah Goldberg at The Corner)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Name Game

Via Dirty Harry's Place, here's an article on strange celebrity baby names. The highlights:

Rachel Griffiths' son, Banjo.
Emma Thompson's daughter, Gaia.
Arthur Ashe's daughter, Camera.
Penn Jillette's daughter, Moxie CrimeFighter.
Ving Rhames' son, Freedom, and daughter, Reignbeau.
Nic Cage's son Kal-El.
Kevin Smith's daughter Harley Quinn (from comments on article).

Okay, some of these make Hyacinth sound not-so-bad. Moxie CrimeFighter? That's so crazy I almost like it. Kal-El? That might be setting the bar a little high. Honestly, I thought the cluelessness of the writer was almost as funny as some of the names. Yeah, it sure is crazy to get a name from the Bible. Whatever they might think, I'm pretty sure Max and Levi aren't really that strange. Of course, none of them have anything on Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish, referenced previously here.

Monday, July 07, 2008


I'm thinking about taking my vacation July 19-26 or thereabouts. Is there any reason that would be an awful idea?

Sugar Beet Song

I mentioned to my dad that I had seen this posted on Facebook and he remarked he couldn't remember ever having seen it, so:

Friday, July 04, 2008

Stars and Stripes

MLB teams will look a little different this weekend. That's because they will be wearing special "Stars and Stripes" caps (you can see the Detroit version on the left) as part of the Welcome Back Veterans initiative. Some proceeds from the sales of these caps will go to the fund. You can buy the Tigers cap here, or see all of them here. (Hat tip: John J. Miller at The Corner)

Thursday, July 03, 2008


Have you heard about the rescue of 15 hostages from the clutches of FARC, a Marxist terrorist group, by Colombian commandos? If you haven't, click on the links, it's an amazing story. It's like something you'd see on TV but wouldn't buy as happening in real life. Stupid commies.

Independence Day

The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forevermore.
-John Adams, from a letter to Abigail Adams.
(The Declaration of Independence was adopted officially two days later, hence Adams referring to the second rather than the fourth.)

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Your Government at Work

Jennifer Granholm wants Michigan residents to conserve energy. Apparently lowering the speed limit is the way to get this accomplished. You're still going to buy the gas, you just won't get to decided how fast to drive your car with it. You see, you're just too stupid to make those kind of decisions. The state has also started a new website with tips on how to save money, which presumably was developed and is operated with your tax dollars. I'm sure it'll break even.

The Dark Knight

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Monday, June 30, 2008

Let's Try It Again

I realize the link on the last post about this wasn't working.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Once you go black...

If that cliche is about Animal Crackers, then it's RIGHT ON. I have a huge kick for Animal Crackers. They are a great snack. Well, a few months ago, Wal-Mart had some "chocolate" Animal Crackers. I thought, "why not?" Incredible. Then, add a little bit of peanut butter, wow! Yeah, still puzzled why stock in Animal Crackers hit an all-time high in April? It was me. They've even recently come out with "cinnamon" Animal Crackers. They are good too, but I'm not ever going back to the original.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Boom...outta here

For those of you who stop your AM radio dial to the Jim Rome Show have probably heard the Brett Myers "retard" incident many times. If you haven't, well, enjoy this. You'll have to go to the link and click on the audio towards the bottom. And yes, it's unedited.

If you don't know anything about this, here's a little background. Back in August of 2007, Phillies Pitcher Brett Myers was doing a post-game interview with a Philadelphia beat reporter. Obviously, Myers got lit up in the game and wasn't in the best mood to be asked questions, especially by a "retard."

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Ted Being Ted

This one's for Joe. In this story about Toby Keith's new movie, which happens to star Ted Nugent, the following paragraph appears:

At one point, Keith added, a cottontail rabbit crossed the movie set. Nugent, who still had his crossbow in hand from the scene they had just finished filming, shot the animal and gutted it, right in front of all the Hollywood types there on location.

That's awesome. (Hat tip: Dirty Harry's Place)

Saturday, June 21, 2008


This is ridiculous. Lloyd Clarke, a relatively new Frankenmuth resident (atheist, former UAW organizer, and anti-war group member, shocking) was offended by crosses in the town and asked that they be removed. The city pulled crosses off the downtown bridge, but when Mr. Clarke asked for crosses to be removed from the seal, city park, and another bridge the other residents of Frankenmuth got mad. A national organization is considering taking up his case.

I think this highlights one of the worst tendencies of our culture. The article quotes "minorities" as complaining that the lack of diversity makes them feel unwelcome. A new guy moves into town, an apartment no less, and demands that everything change to suit his sensibilities. Here's a secret: If you move to Frankenmuth, it's going to STILL be Frankenmuth. After one drive through town, do you really have any question about what you're getting? Doesn't the architecture make it pretty clear? Lutherans, lederhosen, Bronner's, chicken dinners, that cuckoo clock, and Oktoberfest: these things are Frankenmuth. If you don't like it, don't move there. Is it really that far to Birch Run?

Thursday, June 19, 2008


I downloaded the Spore Creature Creator yesterday and found it's going to be severely detrimental to having any extra free time. It's pretty addictive, and it's only a small part of the full game that will be released in September. Here's a video of a creature I designed using the program.

To learn more about Spore, check out the official site.

UPDATE: Another video.

You Make The Call

You can check out the story here.

I wouldn't be able to eject these guys fast enough. Punks.

Monday, June 16, 2008


It was announced today that a co-worker and his wife just had a baby girl and decided to name her "Hyacinth". Now, I'm all for any name that's not "Riley" or "MacKenzie", but it seems a little odd. Where did all you parents have that one on your baby name list? (When I asked that same question to my friend Eric, I received the funny reply of the day: "It was 75,276, right after [insert name of hated former Coon Rapids employee].")

Not Funny

I know it's childish, but I did smile just a little when I saw this story linked on's front page as "Yankees lose Wang for at least 6 weeks." It's only funny for the Yankees' misfortune though, not for, well, you know.


Has anyone pulled a hamstring jumping on the Detroit Tiger bandwagon? It's starting to get crowded on here. In case you've missed it, the Tigers are rolling on a six game win streak and 8 out of 10 to finish their homestand before heading to San Fran, the Rainbow nation.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

A "Dirty" Father's Day

I don't know about you, but my gift for my dad will "blow your [gift] off" compared to mine! That's right, I got my dad the Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry Ultimate Collector's Edition.


I just saw a TV listing for Lobstermen: Jeopardy at Sea, then saw it was on the Discovery Channel and thought, "Hmmm, probably not as cool as it first sounded."

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

It's Back, Baby!

Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football 2008 is open for sign-up. Go here to register. The league ID number is 15503 (I suck, the notification came out between lunch and the end of the work day), the password is, well, you know what it is. Everyone is invited automatically who played last year. If we need to add or drop players let me know and I'll take care of the invites. The draft is set to offline, so where are we having the draft party?

Phrase of the Week

"Weaponized bedpost." Courtesy of Jim Rome, via Ump (should it be "Coach" now?).

Kobe and KG should just play H-O-R-S-E

Another great take from Jim Rome, especially because it's about soccer:

You may have missed it and consider yourself lucky if you did! But, Manchester United beat Chelsea on penalty kicks to win the UEFA Championship. I know, “shocking” that the score was still tied at the end of regulation! Even more “shocking” that it was a scoreless tie! And, how fitting that they would decide arguably the biggest game of the year on penalty kicks?! I mean, how “soccer of them”!

Nothing like playing the entire game and then two O.T.’s…and then deciding the championship on penalty kicks?! That would be like Game 7 of the World Series going to extra innings, and “dragging” the pitching screen out to the mound for a little “Home Run Derby”. If the Spurs and Lakers go to Game 7 in their series, I don’t think David Stern is going to have Tim Duncan and Kobe Bryant play a “game of horse” to decide who goes to the finals.

Look, I’m sure the “cats” playing the game are as bored as the rest of us watching it, but how do you decide the title on kicks? Why not come up with something a little less random like, I don’t know, “flipping coins”?! Or, a “rock, paper, scissors” competition?! Anyway, congratulations to “Man U”, your goalie guessed right one more time than their goalie did.

And as always “soccer fan”, let me save the trouble…I know, I just don’t get it. You’re right! I don’t! That’s my point! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I don’t get it. And, I hope I never do!

Does soccer teach anything about life and fighting through it?

Internal Cover-up?

Another interesting take from Jim Rome a few weeks ago:

The only thing more incredible than the Patriots possibly getting caught cheating…again…is that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell may not do anything about it. Goodell has said he’ll investigate former Pats’ employee Matt Walsh’s claims the team was practicing players on the I.R., but that he wouldn’t penalize them further even if the claim is corroborated.

For one, it has been corroborated. Former NFL OT turned media member Ross Tucker said he saw the Patriots do it when he played for them. And secondly, if it is true, not “hammering” the Pats for it would be Goodell’s worst move since he destroyed the tapes. This isn’t Spygate. If the Pats are doing it and have been doing it, it’s even worse! It’s cheating, just as rolling tape on the opposition’s defense is, but there’s a much greater advantage to be gained by doing it! Players on the I.R. are not allowed to play in games or practice. Letting them do so, enables you to develop them and help them improve. Plus, it keeps the vets fresh who don’t take all the extra practice reps. It makes your team better. It’s a huge competitive advantage. That’s why they don’t let you do it.

And, if it’s worse than Spygate, how can Goodell justify “hammering” the Pats for that, and then do nothing about this? The answer is he can’t. And the reason he’s not, is the same reason he destroyed those tapes in the first place. There’s something he doesn’t want us to know. The integrity of the game is at stake! And so is the Patriots legacy and rep.

Hearing this, you can’t help but wonder how many other ways the “Hoodie” may have cheated. He’s starting to look “serial”!

So, what doesn't Roger want us to know? What could he be covering up?