The Ins and Outs of Baseball

I was at the Michigan High School Baseball Coaches Association (MHSBCA) Conference in January at the Soaring Eagle in Mt. Pleasant. The University of Baylor coaching staff put on the conference. Before one of the coaches made his first presentation to the attendees, he started off with this: (Keep in mind, this was completely memorized and he didn't miss a beat. In fact, I felt bad he didn't get any reaction. He deserved a freakin' standing ovation. But, I think everyone was just in amazement. I had never heard anything like it before. So, I did some searching and think I found it.):

You have two sides, one out in the field, one in.

Each man that's on the side that's in goes out and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out. When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When three men are out, those that are in and still out are left out and don't score. Then the side that's been out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get the side coming in out.

When both sides have been in and out nine times, that is the end of the game. Unless, of course, both sides have the same number of not outs, not counting left outs. In that case, they continue to go in and out until after an equal number of ins and outs one side has more.

Quote of the Day

Shaq explains his business: “I’m the only player who looks at each and every center and says to myself, ‘That’s barbecued chicken down there.”’

"Gym Guy"

"Gym Guy." I think most of us know him. Jim Rome gave his classic take on Wednesday. I counted at least 7 characteristics of "gym guy" in his take and I can honestly relate with every single one of them while using the Rec. Center at EMU and their weightroom.

“Gym guy”! We all know and hate “gym guy”. You know this “cat”. He’s the guy who rocks the weightlifting gloves…that he re-velcroes before every big set. Unless he’s truly a purist and then just goes with chalk. The same guy, who grabs a complete stranger and says, “yo, bro, can I get a quick spot” only to freak out if you try to spot him or assist him in any way screaming, “I got it. Don’t help me!”

It’s the same guy who when you’re in the middle of a couple of sets, asks if it’s cool if he works in, when he knows it not, and sweats up your machine. And if you tell him no, you’ve got a couple sets left, he’ll just set up shop five feet away and just stare at you until you’re done, muttering under his breath about how bad your form is. And the second you’re done, he stomps over and adjusts the weight as quickly as possible making sure you know how much stronger he is than you! “Gym guy” grunts like he’s passing a kidney stone and loudly drops dumbells on the floor after his dumbell press so everyone knows he’s “the guy” using 120 pounders.

Gym guy also loads his 60 megabyte iPod with Godsmack and Megadeath. And has different playlists for different workouts. The “pecs” playlist. And “delt” playlist. And trust me, they all rock…hard! And “gym guy” isn’t there to work out. He’s there to work! This is a job to him. In fact, he doesn’t even call it working out. To him, it’s training. Oh, and “gym guy” also double-fists his beverage…a gallon sized jug of water, chased by a bottle of “Carbo-Force” energy drink that he sips between sets. And that’s just to get him through the workout! When he’s done he sprints to the nutrition bar and loads up on “muscle milk” and a “whey protein shake” with a shot of “creatine”, because you don’t make your muscles wait for protein. “Gym guy”. Freak!

Dog Show

A few weeks back, the Westminster Dog Show was held. Don't think Jim Rome didn't have a few words to say about it:

What’s better than a great comeback story in sports? Who doesn’t love a once great, icon, turning back the clock one last time, for one final run at glory?! Who didn’t get with Jack Nicklaus during his charge at Augusta in ‘86 when he won the Masters at 46?! Or Jimmy Connors who brawled his way to the U.S. Open semi-finals in ‘91 when he was 39?! Legendary comebacks by iconic figures!

And here’s another one to add to the list. Stump, a 10 year old Sussex Spaniel, coming out of retirement to win the “Best in Show” award at the Westminster Dog Show. How a dog retires from being a “dog”, I have no idea… but who will ever forget Stump having to shut in down in his prime back in ‘04 because of mysterious illness. I know I won’t! Nor, will the other “freaks” parading their “surrogate children” around in a circle all day long.

Jim Brown and Barry Sanders couldn’t believe Stump walked away when he did! Then, the haters piled on…they said there was no way a ten year old could come out of a retirement and win this event. That there was way too much dog rust to knock off! That Stump would be this generation’s Willie Mays stumbling around in center field for the Mets or Johnny Unitas getting “hammered in the pocket” with the Chargers….whatever!

Never doubt the heart of a champion. Just as Sugar Ray Leonard shocked the world back in ‘87 by coming out of retirement to beat Marvin Hagler, so did Stump! “Go time, baby!” And no one knows it better than Stump the dog. Not only did he win, but he
“punked” the Scottish Deerhound, “Tiger Woods.” Obviously, that dog doesn’t have the closing gear of his human namesake!

I wonder if anyone else named their dogs Sergio Garcia and Phil Mickelson…if they just start whimpering when the “Eldrick” pooch shows up? Stump the dog. “Man!”

Heating Up

If you're like me, the Lions were so depressing that it's been hard to get into the NFL offseason, especially with the draft still a month away. But that should change now as free agents are being signed left and right. The big news is the Kansas City Chiefs have acquired Matt Cassel and Mike Vrabel from the Patriots for a 2nd round pick, number 34 overall. I can only conclude someone in the KC organization had comprimising photos of the owner of the Patriots, because that's a steal. Number 34 overall to get a solid NFL quarterback? That's a no-brainer.

The Lions have also started to move, signing former Seattle RB Maurice Morris and former Cardinals/49ers WR Bryant Johnson. There's also news that Jon Kitna has been sent to the Cowboys for a late-round pick.

Enter Sandman

Horse bleep

I don't have time tonight (getting pretty late) but I have a reffing story to share...and it involves a little "horse bleep." So stay tuned. I wanted to wet your appetite now so I can finish it later. (I've been waaaaaay behind on my blogging. Finally got a chance to play catch-up.) Unfortunately, my employer will not let me do anything with the blog except post comments to other posts. Dern internet police.

Who?

Okay, I'd like my turn at giving my A-Rod steroid take. I've had some time to think about this. It's my own. I'm not piggy-backing off of Jim Rome. These are my original thoughts:

I don't have the time to read or watch every 4 minute interview with MLB players giving there thoughts on A-Rod. But, what I have read or seen bothers me. The most common/popular phrase I hear EVERY player use is: "...it's unfortunate for the guys doing it right."

Who? Who's doing it right? Tell me. Give me one name. Just one time I want Jeter or whomever is giving their opinion to say: "...it's unfortunate that, cough, many players, cough, including MYSELF, are doing it right." How come NO ONE ever says they are one of the guys doing it "right." It's always "the guys that are doing it right." How is it that professional athletes are all about themselves and their ego, yet when faced with an excellent opportunity to once again brag about themselves, they fail to come clean and make a bold statement of "I am doing it right and it pisses me off!" I thought these guys were men. I thought everyone was only for themselves. No such thing as team. Now, no one is willing to put their money where their mouth is and claim they are "doing it right."

So, I ask again: Who are you referring to? Who is "doing it right?" Are you? Here's your chance, for the record, to clear your name.

Punked

Memo to Idiot: You are messing with Lance Armstrong. Freaking Lance Armstrong. The guy is a professional athlete. He's won the Tour de France 94 times. He only has one ball. He didn't even bother to take his eyes off the road as he slammed you into the snow with a forearm shiver...WHILE RIDING HIS 10 SPEED! How did you plan this to turn out for yourself? The guy kicked cancer's tail. You didn't think he could handle you?

Shut Up

Rorschach

Profit

Apparently taking over films of some of its properties, like Iron Man, did pretty well for Marvel. Next up? Iron Man 2 and Thor in 2010. And the Spider-Man musical. Wait, what?

A Few Good Laughs

With me being the "MC" of the Cass City Missionary Church's long time tradition "music night" or "talent night" these may or may not be in between the acts. I thought I would share none the less. For example, "Jesus take the wheel" or something like that. Perhaps this "coffee" ad catches your eye. Or try this if you like sports. Or this if you like butter. Or if you want to throw down a few brews, watch this first. If your married you might like this one. Or maybe some free credit. There are many more. Enjoy.

Bailout

You know, it's not exactly heartening to read that we basically could have avoided all of this bailout nonsense if we'd just kept Congress out of it. I suspect this is going to look even better in a few years.

Abnormally Unselfish

This is likely the best sports article you'll read all year. A few lines:

Battier has routinely ­guarded the league’s most dangerous offensive players — LeBron James, Chris Paul, Paul Pierce — and has usually managed to render them, if not entirely ineffectual, then a lot less effectual than they normally are. He has done it so quietly that no one really notices what exactly he is up to.

Hat tip: Jim Manzi at The Corner.

Top this....

Through the Fire and the Flames...IN MARIO PAINT!!!!

No, seriously.

I didn't believe it either. The video is a little out of sync from the audio (not uncommon on these videos.

Through the Fire and the Flames

And now for something completely different:

Star Trek in Detroit

I would definitely go to this if I still lived in Michigan.

Deja Vu

Brett Favre says he's retiring... again. I already gave my thoughts on Favre last year when he retired, so I'm not going to cover that again. My only thought now? Good.

54-42

I can't really add much to what Wojo wrote here.

Really...funny

Wherever We Go

Happy Waitangi Day!

When I was younger our calendar at home always had Waitangi Day, a holiday in New Zealand, marked on it from the manufacturer. I always thought it was funny because, well, Waitangi is a funny word.

Also, if you're interested, it looks like New Zealand is recruiting.

Seriously?

Delaware State? I guess Michigan wants to make sure they don't have a repeat of last season.

BING!

Sorry, this is a day late and a dollar short. I watched it last weekend, still some great one-liners:

"It is still only once a year, isn't it?"

"Well what if there is no tomorrow!?! There's wasn't today."

"I'd say chances of departure are...80%...75-80."

G.I. Joe

I'd like to think this will be good:



I don't, but I'd like to.

As A Rule

This was my favorite Super Bowl commercial:



I am definitely getting a koala to punch.