Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Lions' 13

Jamie Samuelsen, blogging for the Free Press, thinks that there are at least 13 Lions worth keeping around. The list:

Calvin Johnson
Jason Hanson
Nick Harris
Kevin Smith
Gosder Cherilus
Cliff Avril
Ernie Sims
Cory Redding
Jeff Backus
Dominic Raiola
Jared DeVries
Dan Orlovsky
Dewayne White

What do you think?

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Draft Order

The Lions will have the #1 and #20 picks in the 2009 NFL Draft. You can see the full draft order here, which is subject to change pending the results of the playoffs. Who would you pick?

Monday, December 29, 2008


So, the Lions managed to run the table and finish 0-16, a feat I predicted back about week 8. Now what? Well, first you fire Marinelli. Done. Next, well, who don't you fire? It seems to me that the entire front office should be axed (maybe you can keep a secretary or two around, but I'm not sure) along with the coaching staff and at least 25% of the roster. Then you get on with the business of finding new blood. Obviously, William Clay Ford Sr. doesn't know a thing about being a decent owner, so he needs to bring in someone to make ALL the decisions. Maybe this guy? Hey, the Dolphins have went from 1-15 to the playoffs, so anything is (theoretically) possible.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Dashing Through the Snow

And now it's time to head back to CC. Good thing there's a storm tracking along my exact route.

New Champion

I'll have the weekly scoring updated later, but QB Killers beat Ninja Bulldogs last night to win the 2008 Cass City Monkie Fantasy Football championship.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Question

Detroit News columnist Rob Parker, who asked Marinelli if he wished his daughter had married a better defensive coordinator, said the question was a joke and Marinelli understood that. Or not, based on Marinelli's comments today.

In related news, the Lions still suck, becoming the first NFL team to go 0-15. Just one clutch performance away from history.

How bad is it? Joey feels bad for the Lions: "It's weird to think I was here in the heyday."


Sunday, December 21, 2008

The website is too busy to show the webpage

Okay, who crashed the internet? It's moving so slow I might as well have the data delivered by carrier pigeons. Not that they could get to Iowa with the 35 mph winds and -33 degree wind chill.

Saturday, December 20, 2008


That is the hotline TEXT number for the Cincinnati Bengals to report an unruly fan. It allows fans to send a text message to security officals about the behavior of fans and possibly have them removed.

One reader posted this expected, yet cleaver comment:

"Can you text about your team sucking and have them removed?"

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Bowl season is underway, starting with Navy vs. Wake Forest in the first Eaglebank Bowl. Yeah, I don't know who Eaglebank is either, but who cares?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I Want One

Now that's a chair:


Here's a great quote from an article by Thomas Sowell at NRO:

Will this save Detroit or Michigan? No.

Detroit and Michigan have followed classic liberal policies of treating businesses as prey, rather than as assets. They have helped kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. So have the unions. So have managements that have gone along to get along.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


"He was giving him the business"

Forearm Shiver

RE: Boohoohoo

I think I just made up the word boohoohoo-ing. Let me give some background. At work in Minneapolis it became the custom that when someone was whining you'd give them a big boohoohoo. This is actually pronounced more like wooooo-hooooo-hooo in a high-pitched whine. So correct usage would be something like:

Worker 1: "Man, these cylinders are heavy."
Worker 2: "Boohoohoo."

So basically it means shut up and get to work.


I've seen a lot of writing in the Detroit papers, like this article, boohoohoo-ing about the failure of the auto bailout and lashing out at Congress, Republicans especially, for stopping it. Well, guess what? The majority of the country opposes the bailout, according to a Washington Post-ABC News poll (Hat tip: The Corner). This brought to mind a quote from Patton:

Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser.

In the eyes of most Americans GM, Chrysler, the UAW, Detroit, definitely the Lions, and Michigan as a whole are a bunch of losers. Why would they want to reward a bunch of losers?

Sunday, December 14, 2008


You want to hear something crazy? Today's forecast in Davenport: high of 53º, low of 7º. That's a 46º difference in the space of one day. Less than a day, actually, as that high came this afternoon and the low will be tonight. Sigh.


Almost there...

Terminator Salvation

Starring Batman:

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Wizards in Winter

I saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert today and thought I'd share a bit:

Thursday, December 11, 2008


ESPN is reporting that tension is growing in the Cowboys' locker room between Tony Romo and (who else?) Terrell Owens. Apparently Owens thinks that Romo and Jason Witten are conspiring to keep the ball away from him.


So what was the over/under on Owens going crazy with Dallas?

Tuesday, December 09, 2008


Think you know your NFL football rules, then get your scantran sheet and go. Here's a sneak peek:

Q: When can the first-string QB reenter the game if the third-string quarterback is inserted before the fourth quarter?

Huard: "After the fourth quarter, the first-string quarterback can come in."
Johnson: "You have to declare who your first- and second-string quarterbacks are?"
Pitts: "They're interchangeable. If someone wanted to wake up and start the third quarterback and then put in the first quarterback on the next series, they could."

Correct answer: Never. If the third quarterback is inserted before the fourth quarter, a team's first two quarterbacks cannot be used in the game at any position.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Coming Back

The BCS choosing Oklahoma and Florida to play for the national title has already had one major impact on the college football landscape: Colt McCoy is pissed. Well, I'm assuming he isn't happy about being denied a chance to play for a championship by a team he beat, since he announced today that he intends to return for his senior season. Or maybe he's just trying to steer clear of the soon-to-be 0-16 Lions.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Cruel Fate

The early NFL game here in Davenport this Sunday? Lions vs. Vikings. I may lose my lunch.

Saturday, December 06, 2008


Is anyone else watching the Army-Navy game? Apparently both teams debuted new Nike uniforms. Here's a pic of the Army jersey:

It looks better with a service patch, pants, and helmet. And, yes, you can see them just fine on the field.

UPDATE: Here's a pic of the uniforms in action, from

You can also buy the hat from the website:

I'm more of a Navy guy, but that's a sweet hat.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Quote of the Day

They know more tricks than a carload of monkeys.
-Walter Neff, Double Indemnity

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Lions Move to 0-12

Another great take from Rome. Here's a sneak peek:

First, they jumped out on Tampa Bay 17-0 and I nearly jumped out of a window. But a 17 point lead means nothing to these guys! They manned up, made me proud and allowed 5 unanswered T.D.s’ to lose going away, 38-20. That’s what I’m talking about! That’s the sort of effort it’s going to take to finish this thing. Up by 17, lost by 18. Way to clutch up, fellas’. 1-15 is a wasted season, men. 0-16 puts you in the Hall of Fame. Forever! They’ll never be able to take that away from you. Or, me. From us…“man down”, and finish this thing.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Big (12) Mess

Ivan Maisel has a good article up about the situation in the Big 12. The heat is going to be on the BCS, but it's really the conference's fault for using the BCS as a tie breaker. I found this website that lists the tie breakers for the BCS conferences. The Big 12 had to go down to the fifth tie breaker to send Oklahoma to the the championship game. But if they used a different set of tie breakers, say the Big Ten's, the results could have been different. The third tie breaker in the Big Ten is least number of Div. I-AA (FCS) schools played. By my count Texas Tech played two, Oklahoma played one, and Texas played... zero. Texas would be going to the Big 12 championship game, and no one would get to complain about the BCS. Doesn't that sound easier?