Friday, December 22, 2006
Saturday, December 16, 2006
UPDATE: Jonah Goldberg has something to say about this and it's much more clever than what I wrote. Check it out.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Even though, statistically speaking, there has been an improvement in shooting, scoring, and ball related turnovers, it appears the league is changing back because of player injuries caused by the ball. What? Is there small shards of glass in the channels?
What would it be like if the NFL all of a sudden changed to a new ball? Or hockey to a different puck? Or soccer to...wait, it wouldn't matter, it'd still be boring and no one would score.
Monday, December 11, 2006
I was subbing again on Friday, this time in Sandusky High School. The teacher was Mr. Kurt Wentzel. What does that matter? Well, in one of his classes for the day the class was supposed to watch "Band of Brothers." Again you say, what does that matter? Well, Mr. Wentzel's dad was part of Easy Company. He jumped in Normandy. Unfortunately he was wounded because of a machine gun shot to the leg. Eventually he had part of his leg amputated. I guess he was only there for D-1 or Dog 1 or something like that. Anyway, HBO flew the family to the Premiere five years ago.
Sorry, I tried to get a larger picture, but it wouldn't let me.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
What does 1.3 represent?
A) Johan Santana's ERA
B) The TV ratings for John McEnroe's show
C) Aaron's high school girlfriend on a scale of 1-10
D) Rex Grossman's QB rating on Sunday
If you guessed C...you are wrong but dang that's funny. The correct answer is D. How much worse does he have to be before he gets benched? Is that a bad sign? That he won't be benched because there is only worse and worser on the bench. I'm sure Griese could do better.
Other fun stuff going on in the No Fun League:
The Colts just WR Ricky Proehl. Yeah, the 38 year old who "shinned" for the Arizona errrr...Phoenix Cardinals on the 1991 Nintendo game Tecmo Super Bowl.
John Mullin, of the Chicago Tribune, reports Chicago Bears RB Thomas Jones needs 73 rushing yards to surpass former RB Anthony Thomas for fifth place on the club's all-time rushing list. I didn't even remember the A-Train playing for the Bears. How many yards did he actually get? 1000 yards? It can't be too high, then again, how low is it to only be the 5th highest in team HISTORY?
For those of you who didn't know, according to Article 6, Section 23, paragraph 7 of the Super Bowl rule qualifications, no one from the NFC North Division is allowed to participate in the Super Bowl. Because the North Division is the weakest conference, a team may qualify for the playoffs, but will not be considered a contestant in the Title Game. So, I guess the Bears shouldn't even bother entering the playoffs if they aren't allowed to advance to the Championship game. Because the Bears play in such a weak conference giving them a weak schedule, they have been discriminated against, even if they are the best team in the NFL. But, they couldn't possibly be considered the best team if they come from a weak conference.
There is an asterisk in paragraph 7 that states if an NFC North Division team does in fact advance through the playoffs to Super Sunday, a vote will be taken by all the assistant coaches, trainers, chaplins, mascots, and cheerleaders to determine what team from the AFC West conference should take their place to represent the NFC because the AFC West plays a tougher schedule than any other conference. Head coaches are not allowed a vote as it may be a conflict of interest.
If that selection causes the Super Bowl to be a rematch of a previous game in the playoffs, then another team must be chosen, as long as they are still from the AFC West because of division difficulty and superiority.
You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals; hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the crap out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is.
Rank Team______________W-L-T__ Pct___Pts____ Streak
*1.All Night Long!______12-1-0__ .923__ 2262.90__ W-4
*2.Time to lose again___11-2-0__ .846__ 2089.80__ W-3
*3.Battletoads _________9-4-0___ .692__ 2001.30__ L-1
*4.Pooper Scoopers______8-5-0___ .615__ 2169.70__ W-2
*5.Crackers Dont Matter_6-7-0___ .462__ 1806.40__ L-2
*6.Losers! _____________3-10-0__ .231__ 1656.50__ W-1
7.Non-competitives _____3-10-0__ .231__ 1604.00__ L-2
8.Your Chance to Win ___0-13-0__ .000__ 1275.80__L-13
I would especially like to congratulate Kid Loe on his record-breaking 0-13 winless season.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
UPDATE: Gene Wojciechowski says Michigan got jobbed. He's probably right. And, for the record, I think Urban Meyer's campaigning for his team to be in the national championship game was low class.
Couple things that should be considered:
1) Before today's games, it was all assumed USC would win and play in the championship. There were no discussions when the BCS was updated on Sunday about Florida being #4. It was all about USC and Michigan. Florida might as well been #10 because no one cared. All we heard was "shame on Florida for scheduling a D-I AA team in November." Now what do we hear? "Florida plays in the toughest conference giving them the toughest schedule."
2) One thing I've hated from the beginning (since the Michigan loss to OSU) was the phrase, "Michigan already had their shot." You know what that phrase sounds like to me? It sounds like something a coach says before a game: "You know guys, we're not better than them, but we've got nothing to lose so let's give it our best shot." Or, the coach who doesn't want to play a certain player, but the whole team says, "Come on coach, just give Billy a chance." Like a prayer is involved. Like there is no hope, so just give them a shot at it. The phrase sounds like something an officer in the army would say to a bunch of guys who just failed at a mission..."anyone else want to give it a shot?" "We don't have a snowballs chance in Hades, so does anyone else want to give it a try." Kinda like working on a really hard calculus problem or science experiment. After trying everything possible, you just end up saying "nothing else has worked, let's give this a shot." My point is, everyone is basically saying no one is going to be able to beat OSU, so let's just try something else. You know it won't work, but you're just trying so you can say you tried. You know it will fail, but ah, what the heck, let's give it a shot. That phrase doesn't say they think someone will actually beat OSU, they just don't want to see Michigan again. They're not saying, "Hey, I think Florida has a chance to win." Instead it sounds more like "I want to see someone else get a chance to play." Not a chance to win, but a chance to play. The correct phrase should be: "Let's give _______ a shot to win." Because whoever plays, they're going there to win, not just give it a shot.
3) Florida, if they do play in the Title, won't have to play OSU at OSU in cold weather. It gets to be on a neutral field on a warm day. Which gives Florida an advantage UM didn't have...and UM still only lost by 3 points. You're telling me Florida is going to do better than a 3 point loss? Florida has already had 2 games decided by 1 point and 3 games decided by 7 points or less.
4) Who would win between UM and Florida? Apparently UM is a 6 point favorite, which means UM would beat Florida if they played each other. But yet Florida is supposed to "have their shot at it."
5) Once again, this is all about WHO ARE THE 2 BEST TEAMS IN THE COUNTRY. Nothing else. If you think Florida is the 2nd best team, great. If you think Michigan is, fine.
6) Every year is differnt, so don't go rewarding Florida (the SEC) because Auburn (the SEC) got the shaft 2 years ago. "Looks like the SEC got the shaft again." Cry me a river.
7) And finally, none of the talk is about who is going to beat OSU. If you read between the lines of all the arguments, basically everyone is saying OSU is going to win no matter who they play...but let's just give someone else a shot at it. Dang it, this is about who has the BEST shot at it. No one is saying Florida has a better shot to win than Michigan, they are just saying give someone else a shot. You should be picking a team you think can win, not just give it their best attempt. You might as well give Boise State a try. Heck, pick Wisconsin. They never played them at all this year.
What do I want? I want Michigan to play in "the other bowl game" and win by at least 2 TD's. Then I want Florida to get beat like a little girl by at least 2 TD's. Then I want to scream, "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, IDIOTS?" You knew Florida wasn't going to come close.
Florida, go ahead and take that game against OSU. But by the way, no one thinks you have a shot to win.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
I guess I should make some type of announcement that I got engaged October 8, 2006. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. We went down to the park in Bay City, just down by the river as you go over the bridge. All in the same neighborhood that they shoot off the notorious 4th of July Fireworks. Come to think of it, Aaron proposed to Jody before the fireworks in Bay City. Anyway, we enjoyed an unusual 70 degree day in October flying a kite I bought for $3 at Walmart. Then we did some rollerblading on the sidewalks. Later we sat on a swing together looking over the river. Finally, I got on the ole kneecap as the sun was setting on a clear sky evening. But then we had to rush to a conviencence store to buy a disposable camera. And yes, it was all a complete surprise. She had no idea it was coming.
This picture was taken at her sister's wedding in September. A March 31, 2007 wedding has been set.
Was that Larry Foote who cracked Troy Smith as he was out of bounds after throwing up that 3rd and long prayer that fell incomplete late in the 4th quarter? It would have been 4th and 15 forcing OSU to punt and give Michigan the ball with at least 4 minutes and behind 4 points. Instead, Shawn Crable decided to go Larry Foote on Jeff Smoker and gave OSU an automatic first down from the personal foul penalty.
In case you forgot the 2001 classic, Larry Foote was the moron who hit Jeff Smoker with a personal foul enabling MSU to continue the drive late in the 4th quarter and...you know the rest of the story. Smoker finds TJ Duckett in the endzone on the controversial play, "The Longest...Second."
Side note: Two months ago I watched the 2001 MSU-UM football game on ESPN Classic. As I watched those final seconds before Jeff Smoker finally spiked that ball with "1 second" left, it actually didn't seem like it took any longer. If I had not watched the game live from Adam's apartment or if I wasn't a Michigan fan or even if I'd never even seen the game, I would never have thought anything was wrong with that "longer" second. Maybe it's because I've finally gotten over that game after 5 years (it helps take the sting away that MSU hasn't beat UM since then...hmmm, maybe there was an extra long second and the MSU Gods said to the UM Gods, "Okay, please give us 1 more play." And then the UM Gods said, "Fine, but if you win on this play, you won't win another game against UM for a very, very long time. Deal?" And I think MSU took that deal and said "Screw the underclassmen.").
Back to Shawn Crable and the "you can always predict a stupid penalty by Michigan in a huge football game." That's one thing that's always bothered me about Lloyd Carr. Somebody always does something stupid late in the game. Carr has never gotten his teams under control when it comes to plays like that. It never fails, I wasn't shocked at all, and it was a great call by the officials and UM deserved it.
Back to another Instant Classic between UM and MSU. I was watching the 1990 game, you know, the one where Desmond Howard was held then tripped in the enzone and then dropped the ball when he landed on the ground? That was the first time I'd really seen that play very good. What terrible officiating. But, I'm not writing to rip on the non-call. My point here is: What in the heck was Michigan going for the 2-pt conversion for? All these years that I've seen that score or the highlights, I had no idea that Michigan just scored a TD and chose to go for 2 instead of the smart thing to do, kick the extra point. Now that I know the True Hollywood Story on that 1990 game, I could care less if MSU cut off Desmond's legs and the officials still blew the call. I'm ticked that they were too arrogant to kick a lousy extra point. UM deserved to lose. One more thing. I thought that drop in the endzone was the final play of the game. Since I didn't know a TD was just scored and it was a play that didn't require time to be run off the clock, I didn't know that there was an on-side kick that Michigan recovered, giving them another chance to win the game. Bizarre.