Saturday, February 28, 2009

"Gym Guy"

"Gym Guy." I think most of us know him. Jim Rome gave his classic take on Wednesday. I counted at least 7 characteristics of "gym guy" in his take and I can honestly relate with every single one of them while using the Rec. Center at EMU and their weightroom.

“Gym guy”! We all know and hate “gym guy”. You know this “cat”. He’s the guy who rocks the weightlifting gloves…that he re-velcroes before every big set. Unless he’s truly a purist and then just goes with chalk. The same guy, who grabs a complete stranger and says, “yo, bro, can I get a quick spot” only to freak out if you try to spot him or assist him in any way screaming, “I got it. Don’t help me!”

It’s the same guy who when you’re in the middle of a couple of sets, asks if it’s cool if he works in, when he knows it not, and sweats up your machine. And if you tell him no, you’ve got a couple sets left, he’ll just set up shop five feet away and just stare at you until you’re done, muttering under his breath about how bad your form is. And the second you’re done, he stomps over and adjusts the weight as quickly as possible making sure you know how much stronger he is than you! “Gym guy” grunts like he’s passing a kidney stone and loudly drops dumbells on the floor after his dumbell press so everyone knows he’s “the guy” using 120 pounders.

Gym guy also loads his 60 megabyte iPod with Godsmack and Megadeath. And has different playlists for different workouts. The “pecs” playlist. And “delt” playlist. And trust me, they all rock…hard! And “gym guy” isn’t there to work out. He’s there to work! This is a job to him. In fact, he doesn’t even call it working out. To him, it’s training. Oh, and “gym guy” also double-fists his beverage…a gallon sized jug of water, chased by a bottle of “Carbo-Force” energy drink that he sips between sets. And that’s just to get him through the workout! When he’s done he sprints to the nutrition bar and loads up on “muscle milk” and a “whey protein shake” with a shot of “creatine”, because you don’t make your muscles wait for protein. “Gym guy”. Freak!

4 comments:

Ump said...

Let me tell you where I fit in:

I bought some weightlifting gloves and wore them one day to the weightroom. That was the last time. There were a few guys that were my weightroom "friends" (dudes stronger than anyone else I knew) who would always be willing to give me advice or tips on things. They basically called me a sissy for wearing the gloves.

Remember the "neck pad" that we would put on the squat bar at the high school? They told me to quit using that "tampon."

Was I "the guy" that asked if I could work in the middle of someone else's sets? Yes, but I was TAKING OFF ABOUT 200 POUNDS already on the machine. I wasn't trying to show anyone up, because I couldn't.

Did I grunt like "gym guy?" Yeah, because I needed all the help I could get trying to bench 135 lbs four times.

Did I get angry if someone spotted me and trid to "assist" me or even breathe on the bar while bench pressing? Yes, but that was a mental thing. If I was maxing out, I wanted to know for sure if I lifted it, or if I had help.

Big Daddy said...

Sounds like "GYM GUY" is in the house.

Stack said...

Yeah, but Ump's iPod has Puff Daddy's "Come With Me" on it.

Ump said...

FRANK!