The evil overlord list.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
196. I will hire an expert marksman to stand by the entrance to my fortress. His job will be to shoot anyone who rides up to challenge me.
201. All giant serpents acting as guardians in underground lakes will be fitted with sports goggles to prevent eye injuries.
222. I reserve the right to execute any henchmen who appear to be a little too intelligent, powerful, or devious. How-ever if I do so, I will not at some subsequent point shout "Why am I surrounded by these incompetent fools?!"
224. I will build machines which simply fail when over-loaded, rather than wiping out all nearby henchmen in an explosion or setting off a chain reaction. I will do this by using devices known as "surge protectors".
2 comments:
I think #7 should have certainly been on the list.
"7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
I can't believe how ridiculously long that list was.
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