It would be funny if it wasn't true...

More than meets the eye.

There's a new Transformers trailer out. See it at Yahoo!.

Person of the Year

Time has selected their "Person of the Year." Who is it? Well, it's you, silly. And me. And those guys over there. Basically anyone who contributes to "user-generated internet content." Yeah, Time is actually that lame. Wouldn't want to have to make a hard choice, let's just make everyone feel good. You'd think they'd want to stir up some controversy to increase sales, but it appears not. The magazine will have a mirrored cover so you can see youself on it. Better be sure to pick one up. Your mom will be so proud.

UPDATE: Jonah Goldberg has something to say about this and it's much more clever than what I wrote. Check it out.

RE: 1.3

Apparently I need to straighten some things out before I'm killed. The reference to Aaron's High School girlfriend on a scale of 1 to 10 was referring to a blond by the name of B. Dore. I'm being completely honest here, Jody didn't even pop into my head that people might have thought I was referring to her. Why? Because I never thought of Aaron and Jody as boyfriend/girlfriend in high school. I viewed them as already married.

Mass Effect Gameplay

Want to see more Mass Effect? Of course you do. Check out the new gameplay video here. It looks especially sweet in 720p, though lower resolutions are available. The highlights? Well, I don't know about you, but I really want to play with the shotgun that disintegrates your enemies. The All-Terrain Rover being dropped from your ship and making a rocket-assisted landing is pretty sweet too. Can't wait to play.

Old v New

The other day I was doing some Christmas shopping in Target (or maybe it was some other store) and I noticed a few basketballs stacked on top of each other in their cute little basketball boxes. I checked them out and they said they were the new NBA balls. I thought, "cool." This was the first time I've actually seen the ball and able to touch it since the NBA changed over to a new microfiber synthetic ball compared to the old leathery balls. Apparently the ball is too sticky when dry and too slippery when wet. It has even caused minor cuts to some guy named Steve Nash. But, what do we care about Canadians? Check out the full story here. Effective immediately Jan. 1, all teams will change back over to the old leather ball...if they still saved enough for team shoot arounds, practice, etc.

Even though, statistically speaking, there has been an improvement in shooting, scoring, and ball related turnovers, it appears the league is changing back because of player injuries caused by the ball. What? Is there small shards of glass in the channels?

What would it be like if the NFL all of a sudden changed to a new ball? Or hockey to a different puck? Or soccer to...wait, it wouldn't matter, it'd still be boring and no one would score.

Vince Young

After his performance the last 8 games, and after his large contribution to my team in the fantasy playoffs, I'm one step closer to being a believer in Vince Young. I'm not sure he'll be better in the long run than Leinart, but I don't know that he'll be worse either. Rookie of the year? Probably oughta be.

Malarkey. Is that slang for bullspit?

I was subbing again on Friday, this time in Sandusky High School. The teacher was Mr. Kurt Wentzel. What does that matter? Well, in one of his classes for the day the class was supposed to watch "Band of Brothers." Again you say, what does that matter? Well, Mr. Wentzel's dad was part of Easy Company. He jumped in Normandy. Unfortunately he was wounded because of a machine gun shot to the leg. Eventually he had part of his leg amputated. I guess he was only there for D-1 or Dog 1 or something like that. Anyway, HBO flew the family to the Premiere five years ago.

Sorry, I tried to get a larger picture, but it wouldn't let me.

Finish the Fight

This is the coolest video game trailer ever.

1.3

This is a multiple choice question:

What does 1.3 represent?

A) Johan Santana's ERA
B) The TV ratings for John McEnroe's show
C) Aaron's high school girlfriend on a scale of 1-10
D) Rex Grossman's QB rating on Sunday

If you guessed C...you are wrong but dang that's funny. The correct answer is D. How much worse does he have to be before he gets benched? Is that a bad sign? That he won't be benched because there is only worse and worser on the bench. I'm sure Griese could do better.

Other fun stuff going on in the No Fun League:

The Colts just WR Ricky Proehl. Yeah, the 38 year old who "shinned" for the Arizona errrr...Phoenix Cardinals on the 1991 Nintendo game Tecmo Super Bowl.


John Mullin, of the Chicago Tribune, reports Chicago Bears RB Thomas Jones needs 73 rushing yards to surpass former RB Anthony Thomas for fifth place on the club's all-time rushing list. I didn't even remember the A-Train playing for the Bears. How many yards did he actually get? 1000 yards? It can't be too high, then again, how low is it to only be the 5th highest in team HISTORY?


For those of you who didn't know, according to Article 6, Section 23, paragraph 7 of the Super Bowl rule qualifications, no one from the NFC North Division is allowed to participate in the Super Bowl. Because the North Division is the weakest conference, a team may qualify for the playoffs, but will not be considered a contestant in the Title Game. So, I guess the Bears shouldn't even bother entering the playoffs if they aren't allowed to advance to the Championship game. Because the Bears play in such a weak conference giving them a weak schedule, they have been discriminated against, even if they are the best team in the NFL. But, they couldn't possibly be considered the best team if they come from a weak conference.

There is an asterisk in paragraph 7 that states if an NFC North Division team does in fact advance through the playoffs to Super Sunday, a vote will be taken by all the assistant coaches, trainers, chaplins, mascots, and cheerleaders to determine what team from the AFC West conference should take their place to represent the NFC because the AFC West plays a tougher schedule than any other conference. Head coaches are not allowed a vote as it may be a conflict of interest.

If that selection causes the Super Bowl to be a rematch of a previous game in the playoffs, then another team must be chosen, as long as they are still from the AFC West because of division difficulty and superiority.

This one's for all the marbles, boys

I don't know what any of you did tonight, but watching "Poolhall Junkies" on Spike TV was a good fix after screwing up a Pre-Calc test.

You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals; hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the crap out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is.

I wish I had Subtitles

'Cause then I would never have to repeat myself.


I think its a touch Pythonesque.

FFL '06 Regular Season Final Standings

Rank Team______________W-L-T__ Pct___Pts____ Streak
*1.All Night Long!______12-1-0__ .923__ 2262.90__ W-4
*2.Time to lose again___11-2-0__ .846__ 2089.80__ W-3
*3.Battletoads _________9-4-0___ .692__ 2001.30__ L-1
*4.Pooper Scoopers______8-5-0___ .615__ 2169.70__ W-2
*5.Crackers Dont Matter_6-7-0___ .462__ 1806.40__ L-2
*6.Losers! _____________3-10-0__ .231__ 1656.50__ W-1
7.Non-competitives _____3-10-0__ .231__ 1604.00__ L-2
8.Your Chance to Win ___0-13-0__ .000__ 1275.80__L-13

I would especially like to congratulate Kid Loe on his record-breaking 0-13 winless season.

Dick Vitale

Anyone wonder what Duke Vitale thinks about the BCS and Michigan getting jammed? If you watched or listened to Mike and Mike on ESPN radio Monday morning, I'd say Dick is slightly against the BCS process. Dick was so upset, you would have thought Duke was a bubble team for the NCAA tournament that failed to be one of the teams in the field of 64. I didn't know Dick cared about any other school than Duke. I can't even come close to describing in words how frustrated Dick was on the decision to exclude Michigan from the Title game. I couldn't tell if Duke fell out of the top 25 in the polls or if someone slashed all his tires.

Spoof

I'm all about the video today. Next up is a fan made Wii video spoofing a PS3 ad. And, no, sadly the Wii doesn't come in black yet. Hat tip: (Joystiq, Digital Battle)

Rural Rapper

This video is like nothing you've ever seen. It's also in French, but just ignore that. (Hat tip: The Corner, Tim Worstall)

BCS

I want to post this quick before the final selections are announced. I do think Michigan has "had their shot." I think they would have a very good chance at beating OSU if they played again. But, I really don't like the idea of giving them a "do-over", it seems cheap. I'm in a bind though because I think they are a better team than Florida, so I'm not sure what the right pick is. Stupid USC.

UPDATE: Gene Wojciechowski says Michigan got jobbed. He's probably right. And, for the record, I think Urban Meyer's campaigning for his team to be in the national championship game was low class.

Bowl Confusion Series

Wow! The BCS people (or computers) have managed to do it again. Congratulations on your crappy system of determining who the top 2 teams are. I want to reiterate once again, I don't care whom you vote for, just don't vote based on your opinion of a rematch, whether you want one or not.

Couple things that should be considered:

1) Before today's games, it was all assumed USC would win and play in the championship. There were no discussions when the BCS was updated on Sunday about Florida being #4. It was all about USC and Michigan. Florida might as well been #10 because no one cared. All we heard was "shame on Florida for scheduling a D-I AA team in November." Now what do we hear? "Florida plays in the toughest conference giving them the toughest schedule."

2) One thing I've hated from the beginning (since the Michigan loss to OSU) was the phrase, "Michigan already had their shot." You know what that phrase sounds like to me? It sounds like something a coach says before a game: "You know guys, we're not better than them, but we've got nothing to lose so let's give it our best shot." Or, the coach who doesn't want to play a certain player, but the whole team says, "Come on coach, just give Billy a chance." Like a prayer is involved. Like there is no hope, so just give them a shot at it. The phrase sounds like something an officer in the army would say to a bunch of guys who just failed at a mission..."anyone else want to give it a shot?" "We don't have a snowballs chance in Hades, so does anyone else want to give it a try." Kinda like working on a really hard calculus problem or science experiment. After trying everything possible, you just end up saying "nothing else has worked, let's give this a shot." My point is, everyone is basically saying no one is going to be able to beat OSU, so let's just try something else. You know it won't work, but you're just trying so you can say you tried. You know it will fail, but ah, what the heck, let's give it a shot. That phrase doesn't say they think someone will actually beat OSU, they just don't want to see Michigan again. They're not saying, "Hey, I think Florida has a chance to win." Instead it sounds more like "I want to see someone else get a chance to play." Not a chance to win, but a chance to play. The correct phrase should be: "Let's give _______ a shot to win." Because whoever plays, they're going there to win, not just give it a shot.

3) Florida, if they do play in the Title, won't have to play OSU at OSU in cold weather. It gets to be on a neutral field on a warm day. Which gives Florida an advantage UM didn't have...and UM still only lost by 3 points. You're telling me Florida is going to do better than a 3 point loss? Florida has already had 2 games decided by 1 point and 3 games decided by 7 points or less.

4) Who would win between UM and Florida? Apparently UM is a 6 point favorite, which means UM would beat Florida if they played each other. But yet Florida is supposed to "have their shot at it."

5) Once again, this is all about WHO ARE THE 2 BEST TEAMS IN THE COUNTRY. Nothing else. If you think Florida is the 2nd best team, great. If you think Michigan is, fine.

6) Every year is differnt, so don't go rewarding Florida (the SEC) because Auburn (the SEC) got the shaft 2 years ago. "Looks like the SEC got the shaft again." Cry me a river.

7) And finally, none of the talk is about who is going to beat OSU. If you read between the lines of all the arguments, basically everyone is saying OSU is going to win no matter who they play...but let's just give someone else a shot at it. Dang it, this is about who has the BEST shot at it. No one is saying Florida has a better shot to win than Michigan, they are just saying give someone else a shot. You should be picking a team you think can win, not just give it their best attempt. You might as well give Boise State a try. Heck, pick Wisconsin. They never played them at all this year.

What do I want? I want Michigan to play in "the other bowl game" and win by at least 2 TD's. Then I want Florida to get beat like a little girl by at least 2 TD's. Then I want to scream, "ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, IDIOTS?" You knew Florida wasn't going to come close.

Florida, go ahead and take that game against OSU. But by the way, no one thinks you have a shot to win.

In response to Craig James

Craig James just said on ABC, after USC's stunning upset loss to UCLA, that were the games to fall the right way he thinks Florida should face OSU for the national title rather than Michigan. Okay, that's fine and a perfectly respectable opinion. His reason? Florida plays in the SEC and played a tough schedule. So, although Michigan's only loss was to the #1 ranked team, Florida should go, because it's the SEC. There's lots of reasons to pick another team than Michigan to play for the championship, but dissing the Big (11) Ten? Please.

Just Can't Find The Right Words

I guess I should make some type of announcement that I got engaged October 8, 2006. It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. We went down to the park in Bay City, just down by the river as you go over the bridge. All in the same neighborhood that they shoot off the notorious 4th of July Fireworks. Come to think of it, Aaron proposed to Jody before the fireworks in Bay City. Anyway, we enjoyed an unusual 70 degree day in October flying a kite I bought for $3 at Walmart. Then we did some rollerblading on the sidewalks. Later we sat on a swing together looking over the river. Finally, I got on the ole kneecap as the sun was setting on a clear sky evening. But then we had to rush to a conviencence store to buy a disposable camera. And yes, it was all a complete surprise. She had no idea it was coming.

This picture was taken at her sister's wedding in September. A March 31, 2007 wedding has been set.

Shawn Crable - Larry Foote

I know this is a little late, but I forgot to give my MAM (Monday Afternoon Moron) nomination after the Michigan-Ohio State game.

Was that Larry Foote who cracked Troy Smith as he was out of bounds after throwing up that 3rd and long prayer that fell incomplete late in the 4th quarter? It would have been 4th and 15 forcing OSU to punt and give Michigan the ball with at least 4 minutes and behind 4 points. Instead, Shawn Crable decided to go Larry Foote on Jeff Smoker and gave OSU an automatic first down from the personal foul penalty.

In case you forgot the 2001 classic, Larry Foote was the moron who hit Jeff Smoker with a personal foul enabling MSU to continue the drive late in the 4th quarter and...you know the rest of the story. Smoker finds TJ Duckett in the endzone on the controversial play, "The Longest...Second."

Side note: Two months ago I watched the 2001 MSU-UM football game on ESPN Classic. As I watched those final seconds before Jeff Smoker finally spiked that ball with "1 second" left, it actually didn't seem like it took any longer. If I had not watched the game live from Adam's apartment or if I wasn't a Michigan fan or even if I'd never even seen the game, I would never have thought anything was wrong with that "longer" second. Maybe it's because I've finally gotten over that game after 5 years (it helps take the sting away that MSU hasn't beat UM since then...hmmm, maybe there was an extra long second and the MSU Gods said to the UM Gods, "Okay, please give us 1 more play." And then the UM Gods said, "Fine, but if you win on this play, you won't win another game against UM for a very, very long time. Deal?" And I think MSU took that deal and said "Screw the underclassmen.").

Back to Shawn Crable and the "you can always predict a stupid penalty by Michigan in a huge football game." That's one thing that's always bothered me about Lloyd Carr. Somebody always does something stupid late in the game. Carr has never gotten his teams under control when it comes to plays like that. It never fails, I wasn't shocked at all, and it was a great call by the officials and UM deserved it.

Back to another Instant Classic between UM and MSU. I was watching the 1990 game, you know, the one where Desmond Howard was held then tripped in the enzone and then dropped the ball when he landed on the ground? That was the first time I'd really seen that play very good. What terrible officiating. But, I'm not writing to rip on the non-call. My point here is: What in the heck was Michigan going for the 2-pt conversion for? All these years that I've seen that score or the highlights, I had no idea that Michigan just scored a TD and chose to go for 2 instead of the smart thing to do, kick the extra point. Now that I know the True Hollywood Story on that 1990 game, I could care less if MSU cut off Desmond's legs and the officials still blew the call. I'm ticked that they were too arrogant to kick a lousy extra point. UM deserved to lose. One more thing. I thought that drop in the endzone was the final play of the game. Since I didn't know a TD was just scored and it was a play that didn't require time to be run off the clock, I didn't know that there was an on-side kick that Michigan recovered, giving them another chance to win the game. Bizarre.

Guza-ism

As I was walking down the hall from lunch to Mr. Green's room (yes, I was subbing for Mr. Green and that is a whole other post on Green-isms...or maybe just Mr. Green voice impersonations), I heard Mr. Guza starting up his lesson:

"Today we are going to look at the maximums and minimums of limits and before we can get to that, there are a couple of things we must do. Number 1, (as the 4th hour bell rings) we need to close the door so we don't hear all the noise in the hallways."

Speaking of voice impersonations, did anyone watch Letterman 2 weeks ago when the Late Show did Impressionist Week? It was pretty good. Of course you had Rich Little leading off the week. I'd put him at #3. Kevin Pollak was the last one of the week...and probably the worst. Worst is a hard term because he's a heck of a lot better than me, but not as good as the other impressionists. However, he did a killer Christopher Walken. That is probably his signature best. #2 would probably have to be Frank Caliendo. You may have seen him on Mad TV for his signature John Madden impression, which is pretty hilarious. He's also got a decent Robin Williams in his repertoire. But #1 by far was Gordie Brown. He has a show in Vegas. But what made Gordie so good was that his facial impressions were sometimes better than the voice. His Jack Nicholson was incredible all around, facial and voice. Basically, if you call yourself an impressionist and can't do Jack, you aren't an impressionist.

Well heck, I might as well let you watch the highlights here. Enjoy. The video feed might be horrible, but the sound should be fine.

Vacation Time

Adam,

What is your schedule for the Christmas holidays? I can't remember when you said you'd be coming home, but I remember you saying you were going to take a few more days off. Basically what I'm saying is...I can't wait to meet her.


Note: I'm fine with USC playing OSU in the Championship game. Only as long as the voters picked USC because they are the better team, not because they didn't want to see a rematch.

KOTOR will return...

According to this article on Next-Gen, Lucasarts VP Nancy MacIntyre says the Knights of the Old Republic franchise will continue. Being that Lucasarts can seldom resist turning a Star Wars game like KOTOR into a trilogy this isn't surprising news, but it's welcome nonetheless. KOTOR 2 is a good game, but it was rushed out the door which left many bugs and a significant amount of content cut from the game. They even cut most of the story involving HK-47, which is a crime against gaming. Hopefully a sequel can correct these flaws and end the series impressively. Sadly, it's unlikely Bioware would be involved, as they were with the original, due to their focus on original games (cough, Mass Effect, cough). Please don't screw this up Lucasarts. And give us more HK-47. And Jolee Bindo. And... I'll stop now. (Hat Tip: Joystiq)

Interesting Note

In bible study last night we were discussing Romans 6. This passage in particular was mentioned (from BibleGateway.com, NASB):

12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts,

13 and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but resent yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.

14 For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.

The interesting part was the word instruments. The Greek word is hopla, which means a weapon or armor. This is the same word that hoplite, the heavy infantry of ancient Greece, is derived from. Interesting stuff.

A Thought

In 20-30 years, how many political campaigns will be ended by embarassing videos permanently floating about the internet? Think of all the myspace and youtube material that gets posted of people doing stupid things of questionable legality. If you think politicians dig up dirt now, wait until our generation is running for office, having forgotten that one night in college.

Expect many applications of the "Photoshop Defence" (patent pending) .

The New Guy?

According to this report in the Detroit News and this one at ESPN.com, MSU has decided to hire Cincinnati coach Mark Dantonio as their new head coach. We should know for sure later today.

UPDATE: It's official, Mark Dantonio is the new head coach of the Spartans. Dantonio was previously an assistant coach under former Spartan coach Nick Saban and current OSU coach Jim Tressel.

“What’s a guy got to do to get fired around here?”

Rumors are swirling that Matt Millen may (finally) be on his way out as GM of the Detroit Lions. After another embarassing Thanksgiving loss, and to a hated former Lions' QB no less, this is hardly surprising. There may be news tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Wiiiii!

I picked up the new nintendo last Sunday morning (only waited about an hour and a half) and took it home for Thanksgiving. I'll get around to a full write-up one of these days, but for the moment I'll run down a few impressions.

Everyone (brother-in-law, sisters, dad [mom didn't try...yet]) could pick up the controler and play Wii Sports. Fun was had by all.

If they can get the responsiveness down, a good boxing game could be one of the coolest things ever. The Wii Sports boxing is the only game in the compilation that does not function well. The ontrols are very nearly broken and its still fun to play. Ashleigh picked it right up and wasted the computer in the first round. I feared for the tv's safety. When we got a second controller (which are too expensive, but there are no third party ones yet, and when there are they won't be any good. They couldn't even copy analog sticks right, how will they do accelerometers?) she knocked me out. (her character got off the mat twice, mine...not so much.)

Zelda rocks. Controls well, especially considering it was originally a gamecube game. Combat is deeper than previos entries in the series. Its also huge. Not Morrowind huge, but whats there serves a purpose. Very few frustrating points, which is a big deal in a game like this. Excellent design all around (as it should be, it was originaly going to release LAST November). Not wild about the character designs on some of the side characters and the attempts at comic relief would not have been missed, but nothing is perfect.

No problems with the controllers. Some clever person thought to have them shut off when the system does, preventing super-scope like battery drains. Wii all thank you.

I will milk Wii related puns for all they are worth, its Nintendo's fault for choosing such a lousy name.

Sorry for the stream-of-consciousness post.

FSU v Florida: 10 Years Later

Lest you forgot, the 1996 state of Florida showdown consisted of #1 Florida at #2 Florida State. FSU won that game 24-21. That was the year Steve Spurrier put on his politician uniform and complained about the officiating. He claimed his QB Danny Wuerffel was taking late hits and no penalties were called. Well, the Ole Ball Coach got what he wanted. A rematch for the National Championship and a bunch of Florida lovin' refs who protected the QB on every touch of a FSU defensive player. Needless to say, Florida went on to win the Championship.

So, the precedent has been set. It's been done before. A rematch with a rival. However, those two teams were interconference rivals.

Again, I got what I wanted. A game that lived up to the hype last Saturday and finally a game that proves just because you lose doesn't mean you always have to drop in the polls. It took guts to vote for a defensive player for the Heisman in 1997. It's going to take guts and luck for a National Championship rematch in 2006.


Heisman Race:

I forgot to put in my vote last post: Troy Smith clinched the deal against Michigan.


GM of the Week:

Matt Millen, eat your heart out. For those of you Fantasy geeks, last Friday was the trade deadline for any fantasy football wheels and deals. I wouldn't exactly call myself a genius at making great trades, but I put my neck on the line and (so far) came out on top.

In one of my leagues I had to do the random order draft at Adam's appartment. It is a 12 team league and I got "screwed" with the 12th pick. The top 4 teams go to the playoffs. Well, up until two weeks ago my record was 7-0-2 (they are anti-fractional points, however I probably would have lost if they used the fractional points). But I'm still in first place. Well, one of the key players keeping me in first place was Mr. Donovan McNabb. As the deadline approached, I knew I no longer needed a two QB package. Who was my 2nd QB? Up and coming Philip Rivers. With no more byes, I didn't need both.

I put out a trade offer on McNabb in return for Chester Taylor. I think I did alright in that trade. He'll probably never trade with me again, especially since he didn't really need McNabb with Tony Freakin' Romo on his roster.

McNabb: 78 yards, 1 INT, 1 torn ACL = 1 point and done for season.
Taylor: 80 yards, 2 TD = 16 points


In my other league, it is also 12 teams and the top 8 teams make it to the playoffs. I'm not sitting nearly as pretty, somewhere in the 6 or 7 hole. I had just taken on the 10-0 team (my future brother-in-law) and was only down 18 points with Eli Manning and Muhsin Muhammad in the Sunday Night Football game between the Bears and Giants. Muhammad was the man and got me 14 points. 5 points from Eli shouldn't be asking much. (Keep in mind, the scoring is 40 passing yards per 1 point.) Basically 1 TD should seal the deal. No. Manning sucked. He got me -3 points. Needless to say I declared Eli would never see another snap on my team and put my money where my mouth was. However, I didn't have a back up QB. So, I traded Eli and Muhammad for Carson Palmer.

Eli: 230 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT = 7 points
Muhammad: 29 yards = 1 point

Palmer: 275 yards, 3 TD, 1 INT = 22 points.

I think I did pretty well there.


In another trade, someone offered me a TE and Jamal Lewis for Deuce McAllister. He offered me a TE because Tony Gonzalez just got injured. But, I have Colston, so I don't need a TE. (I got Deuce in week 4 along with Muhsin Muhammad in a trade for Willis McGahee. I think I did alright there too.) In this last trade involving Deuce, I countered his offer to get a WR instead of a TE because I didn't need a TE with Colston usable in that position. So I got Patrick Crayton from Dallas. I thought Terry Glenn was still injured, so that wasn't a good WR to go after. Anyway, here are Sunday's stats:

Deuce: 40 yards rushing, 29 yards receiving = 3 points.

Lewis: 91 yards, 3 TD's = 25 points
Crayton: 6 yards = 0 points

Keep in mind, I was given heck for trading Deuce: "He's got more TD's than my 3 RB's combined. What are you thinking?"

So, in one week in that league, I picked up 25 points from Lewis and 22 from Palmer. That's 47 points. How did I end up? Well, my team sucked and only managed 54 total...and lost by 9. Thanks.

Second Best or First Worst

Is this actually a year where Michigan is neither Overrated nor Underrated? I don't think any Michigan fan can complain about their ranking in the BCS after a loss. Then again, I don't think any non-Michigan fan can complain about their ranking either.

Was the game close? Depends on what your definition of close is. If we are talking from a scoring standpoint, then yes, it was close. But, UM needed 3 turnovers just to get it that close. What would the score have been if Michigan had at least one turnover or if the team down south only turned it over once or twice? More than likely not close. Then again, OSU scored 3 times on big plays. Take away those big plays, what happens? Nothing can be taken away, it all happened. What if, what if, what if just talks you into a circle. What if Michigan won? What?

We've all heard the arguments for and against a rematch. I'm not going to pile on either one of those arguments. In fact, I'm not sure where I even stand. I enjoyed the game. It was great. I sure can't complain from a sports entertainment perspective. What if the game was the first game of the year for either team and it was the same result. And then at the end of the year both teams are ranked #1 and #2. Would it be easier to call for a rematch under those circumstances? Because the difference between week 1 and week 12 is a long time. But wait, it's a pretty long time before their next game too, whomever they play.

But (there is always a but), neither Michigan nor OSU designed the schedule at the beginning of the year to say where they'd play the final game. It just so happened to be OSU's turn to host. So, IF the game would have been at Michigan, what would have happened? Which is why I'm slightly leaning toward seeing the game on a neutral field. I know I know, Lloyd can't win a bowl game and Michigan fan doesn't want to lose to OSU again, let alone twice in one season. Coach Carr already has enough L's in his name. I think it's now spelled: LLLLLoyd.

Well, I guess I proved my point...that I've managed to talk into 3 circles. Since I'm taking a pre-Calc class, that would be the equivalent of 6 pi.

Side Note: USC lost Matt Leinart, Lendale White, and Reggie Bush to the NFL last year, so how can they be just as good? I say USC is a fraud. You can't tell me they are just as good losing 3 amazing offensive players. Then again, I think Notre Dame is slightly less of a fraud and will beat USC. It's just that the world can't wait to exault Notre Dame any time they win a game. They can't wait to crown them every year they start out with wins over Georgia Tech and Penn State. If Georgia Tech and Wake Forest are dominating the ACC, you know the world is not round. The only teams ND has beat that are still ranked is G. Tech. USC on the other hand has only beat Cal and Arkansas that are still ranked.

P.S. Anyone surprised Joey Blue Skies picked apart the Detroit Lions like a Thanksgiving Turkey? Didn't think so.

Deep down...

...Tom Izzo is a football coach. You know this if you've followed MSU basketball over the past few years. So maybe it's not completely crazy that there are some rumors of him taking over the head coaching position of the football program. Now obviously this would only happen in Bizarro world, but here's a fascinating quote:

If someone asked him if he'd be interested in the job, "I would have to say no, but I'd probably deep down have to say yeah, I would," he said.

Huh. I think Izzo could do a good job, maybe even be a great football coach. But, on the other hand, making your national championship winning basketball coach into your football coach is crazy. And who would want the pressure of taking over his old job? Still, it's a strangely compelling idea.

Rematch

After watching the game this weekend, I don't want to see a rematch. I've heard every argument for and against a rematch and the fact of the matter is, Detroit still wouldn't beat Arizona.

Bad News for Ohio State

Besides the fact Lee Corso just picked Michigan to beat OSU on College Gameday (the first time ever he's picked OSU to lose a game when Gameday was at the 'Shoe). Side note: I think the camera crew scanned the crowd after Lee's announcement for 0.3 seconds. Why? Well, um...because the OSU fans were letting Lee know who was #1 team. Hmmm. I think it got a PG-13 rating.

Bo Schembechler, 205 pounds of twisted blue steel, died earlier yesterday. The face of everything that stands for the block M has passed away on the eve of arguably the biggest game ever played by either school.

I'm not trying to make light of one of the wisest coaches ever to coach dying, but this has to be probably the worst thing that could happen to Ohio State. This game is already the ultimate game of emotions, and now it just quadruppled...but for Michigan. Neither team needs any extra motivation for the game, but Michigan has probably just taken a slight advantage over the Buckeyes. If Michigan wasn't playing for Bo before, they just may now.

Good luck Ohio. You're in trouble.

Could there be a better week to be a man? Let's see: Wednesday was an ultimate guy day with the opening day of gun hunting season. If you don't like hunting, and you call yourself a man, then you've never met the working end of a Cuban made assault rifle. Next you have the greatest day to be a college football fan. Once again, I'll question your manhood if today doesn't get your blood stirring and wishing you were part of the hype that is smashmouth football.

In the spirit of Michigan-Ohio State week (no I'm not going to use the stupid cliche that ESPN has "coined" to describe the game as "Judgement Day"), it's time for my afforementioned list of top ranked (witnessed) Michigan-Ohio State football games (basically I'm listing every UM/OSU game I've been to):

6) 2004-Columbus: My first experience at the "'Shoe". Michigan unfortunately lost. 21-37.

5) 2001-Ann Arbor: The beginning of Tressel's dominance begins, just like he predicted in January the day he was hired. Also the first time I ever seen Michigan lose a home game out of 15+ witnessed. 20-26.

4) 2003-Ann Arbor: Carr finally gets Tressel. 35-21.

3) 1999-Ann Arbor: Michigan knocks OSU out of post-season contention. The first time they've missed a bowl game in who knows how many years. 24-17.

2) 1993-Ann Arbor: My first experience at the Big House. Michigan 28 OSU 0. I don't remember the details, but the TY LAW was laid down. I believe OSU entered the game either #1 or in first place in the Big Ten. It didn't end that way.

1) 1997-Ann Arbor: Two words: Charles Woodson. I think we've seen the highlights. He clinched the Heisman that day as Michigan went on to win a share of the National Championship. 20-14.


Go Blue

Questions We'll Never Know

Why is the grass green?

Why is the sky blue?

Why is Marques Colston listed as a TE/WR option for Fantasy Football? Who told Yahoo! that Colston "could be our TE this year"? Have you seen him? Does his body look like a normal speciman of a Tight End? Believe me, that's not Tony Gonzo running around out there. Besides, name me some Tight Ends that wear numbers like 12? What is that? 12? Colston is listed as 231 pounds. He's 6'4", so maybe he's a heavy 231. If so, that's either super amazing that a Rookie "WR" is tearing up NFL secondary's or it's incredibly sad that a Rookie has come into the No Fun League at 231 pounds and runs circles around DB's like a gazelle. Side note: I'm not complaining about this in my other leagues (best free agent pick up ever).

Apparently warnings are being issued to Michigan fans who may be attending the game Saturday in Columbus. For instance:

1) Use alcohol in moderation.
2) Anytime you feel unsafe, call 911 for assistance.
3) Stay in groups.
4) Do not drive a car with Michigan license plates.
5) Do not wear too much Michigan apparel.
6) Guard your anger against fan taunting.

Wow, thanks for that Public Service Announcement. Gee, don't those guidelines apply to any time you just go into the state of Ohio? I would think any smart person would always follow those simple steps to keep from getting killed. It shouldn't take a genius to figure out you are going into hostile territory. Thanks for telling us what we already knew.

How do you know if someone graduated from Ohio State?
If they ask you if you'd like fries with that.

I heard Jim Tressel was only dressing 22 players for the game.
The rest have to dress themselves.

What does Bo think about Jim Tressel's dominance over Lloyd Carr? Well, boy, I'm not sure if I should repeat it word for word, but he don't give a (darn) about Jim Tressel. And, in the spirit of the big game , I will rank my all-time Michigan-Ohio State games seen in person. Stay tuned.

I guess what I'm supposed to say is Thank You, I'm out.

This Just In

The Patriots just signed my cousin Vinny Testaverde. Yeah, that same guy on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers from the (Classic) 1991 Nintendo game Tecmo Super Bowl. His first season was actually 1987. Even Julio Franco thinks this is a crazy idea by the Patriots. Was Andre Ware unavailable? Wouldn't they be better off just grabbing ESPN loverboy Brady Quinn off the Irish? I thought Troy Brown was the 2nd stringer.

Either way, now that Testaverde is a Fantasy Free Agent, I wish I wouldn't have already traded for Carson Palmer in one of my other Fantasy Leagues. Dang, I really want Vinny.

Finally:

Dear Eli,

I bet you thought I was joking when I said to a fellow Fantasy League Owner "Eli will never see another snap on my team." Well, I'm a man of my words so hit the road. Thanks for nothing. Good riddance!

A Message From Our Sponsor

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The Grey Vest Man Jim Tressel was asked yesterday if he thought the loser of the Michigan/Ohio State game should be allowed to play in the National Champiionship for a rematch. He responded with, "If you don't win your conference, you shouldn't be allowed to play in the Championship game."

Well, Mr. Sweater Vest Guy, the National championship isn't about who won their conference. It's about who the two best teams are. And when everyone else has 2 losses and your team has only 1, I'd say no one else is better and they don't deserve a shot at the Title if they've already lost twice. If this Saturday's game is close, I don't have a problem seeing it one more time on a neutral field.

I'm curious. We hear so much about "Home Field Advantage" in sports. If we had to put that phrase in terms of Points, how many points would playing on your home field account for?

Is the Michigan v Ohio State football game this Saturday?

Sincerely,

Women, anyone living on Mercury, Venus, Mars, Saturn, Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus, Neptune, and probably Pluto, Bears starting an early hibernation, people without a pulse, masses of protoplasm taller than 6'6", and everyone else still living under a rock.

P.S. I don't see what the big deal is about Bob Knight's lastest incident. I think it's been blown way out of proportion.

Sincerely,

Albert Haynesworth

Remembering Bo

I'm really, really the wrong person to eulogize Bo Schembechler, so I'll just point you to bob Wojnowski's article in the Detroit News. There's also another piece about how Bo spent some of his last hours inspiring the team to beat OSU. I'll leave Ump to pick up the slack on this one, or Aaron if he can be coaxed out of hiding.

Dogfights

Dogfights is one of the coolest things the History Channel has ever broadcasted. It has the usual mix of old footage and new interviews that you're familiar with if you spend any time watching the History Channel. However, it also includes CG recreations of the famous dogfights the episode is focusing on. According to the site, up to 25% of the program is made up of animation. I haven't made it all the way through the episode I'm watching, but I can confirm there's enough animation to keep it interesting. Great stuff.

More Mass Effect (Again)

Once again, this game will make me buy a 360. (Hat tip: Joystiq)

To answer...

...Ump's question, this is the villain known as Sandman:


If you're asking about the Fantastic Four, you may be thinking of the Thing:


Any more questions?

Worst. Episode. Ever.

"G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)" was the worst episode of the Simpsons ever.

Scene Canary

I went to a game night last night with my Sunday School class. There was dinner, then we played some games. Party games. I just love party games. We played Catch Phrase, which isn't too bad as party games go. Anyway, a new couple had showed up and joined the group. We were split into teams of guys and girls and I was sitting by the new couple. I passed the disc and saw the next phrase was "Sean Connery." I saw it and thought to myself, "This is a gimme." The new girl's husband had looked and thought the same thing. But she must have misread or just wasn't thinking, because I don't think she's stupid, and started giving clues that lead to the answer "Scene Canary." By this time, her husband and I were both struggling to stay on our chairs while everyone else looked confused. Until we told them. Three hours later, we stopped laughing. Well, it might not have been QUITE that long. Funniest thing I've seen all week.

New Record

On Friday, I broke a record. Eight guys from work went to Eddington's for lunch. They serve sandwiches, salads, and most notably, soup. They're best known for their bottomless bowl of soup. You take your bowl back to the server and they refill as many times as you want. Of course, work being what it is, a challenge had been instituted as to who could consume the most soup and breadsticks. The current record was 4 bowls of soup and 4 breadsticks, held by our summer intern Dan. Another employee from Moline was second with 4 bowls and 2 breadsticks. Keep in mind, my boss and I had not been there before. We hadn't planned on going on Friday either, so there was no preparation. But once we got started, pride kicked in. We couldn't let those lightweights keep the title. So...

Five bowls, five breadsticks.

In case you're wondering, these weren't thin soups. We're talking Chicken Tortilla Chowder, Boundary Waters Wild Rice, Wisconsion Cheddar Cheese, and USS Navy Bean. Hearty. Also, apparently consuming that much soup will raise you body temperature.

Ultimate Bat

The Tigers have traded 3 pitching prospects to the Yankees for slugger Gary Sheffield. Sheffield, who is 38, has agreed to a $28 million contract extension through 2009. Sheffield has previously won a World Series title with the Marlins, who were managed by Jim Leyland and who's GM was Dave Dombrowski. Said Leyland of Sheff:

"This is one of the ultimate bats in baseball and one of the ultimate people in baseball. I have the utmost respect for him. I can't tell you how happy we are. It's almost unbelievable. It's hard for me to believe that we landed Gary Sheffield."

The Tigers certainly need a bat after their anemic hitting in the World Series. Still, after being injured most of the past season, just how much does Sheff have left in him?

Spider-Man 3 Trailer

Quotes of the Week

Roy Williams, Lions (and NFL) star WR, Monday afternoon on Stony and Wojo:

"We're the best 2-6 team out there."

Side note: Roy is very well spoken when he does his token 10 minutes
every Monday at 5 p.m.

Tony Kornheiser, MNF color commentator said the following about Randy Moss -- "If you throw it to him five times, he'll come up with two of them, so the percentages are in his favor." This classic comment came during the 4th quarter of that gut-wrenching show the Raiders call football v the Seahorses. Good thing he's not a surgeon. Now, I was only half listening to the game because it was boring, but I had to give a double take when I heard that, so I could be wrong. I just don't know who else would have made a comment like that. I can't imagine Joe Theismann saying that, no matter how hard Lawerance Taylor crushed him.

Lebron James, ESPN's boyfriend during the Pistons-Cavs playoff series, had this to say about all the recent technicals being called: "Technicals are being thrown like Peyton Manning passes." Lebron, I think you meant more like Peyton Manning TOUCHDOWN passes.


Other Thoughts:

For those of you who don't watch basketball, David Stern has been making a few changes in the marketing schemes of the NBA, now that they are going global on us. They are toning down the language, whining and complaining to officials, headband and uniform dress code, etc. Oh, and he also wants his players to stop carrying guns every time they so much as check the mail.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to clean up a league's image to give it a better reputation and look more professional/business-like.

And you know what, it must be catching on. The NFL is clearly the league most in need of some serious housekeeping. Just think of all the things the new commish has improved. From Albert Haynesworth's stomp to Brayton's knee, there's too much sociopathic behavior taking place on the field. The league's response has been minimalist, taking every incident separately, mainly because the NFL knows it treads a very fine line when it tries to legislate abhorrent on-field behavior.

Oh, but the NFL has taken steps to make sure no one spikes the ball or does some stupid post-touchdown choreography. And how about those socks -- not a shred of shin showing!

I'm (insert politition name here) and I support this message.

It's a Girl!

That's right, Nathan is a daddy now. Congrats to Jaime and Nathan.

Here is a pic of the baby.

I think she looks like her daddy.

Rumor Mill

So, who was seen on campus after the MSU-Purdue game?

This guy.

Hmmm...


And these guys.

Sincerely,

Ocho Stinko

Your horse, Lord Vader

Invasor won the Breeder's Cup Classic today and $5 million dollars. Why should you care? Well, you shouldn't as far as I'm concerned; I certainly don't. But where did that name come from? Invasor isn't a name for a horse, it's a name for an Imperial Star Destroyer. "Lord Vader, the Invasor is at your command." Just thought I'd point that out.

Loophole

Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema has found a loophole in the new NCAA rules. The rules say that the clock starts as soon as the kicker's foot touches the ball at kickoff. With little time left in the first half, Wisconsin intentionally went offsides twice to run the clock down to under ten seconds. Although a penalty was called, 8 seconds or so ran off the clock each time. Oops. That's going to need to be fixed. What's to stop a team from getting a lead and doing that for the rest of the half?

Moon Knight: The Series

Blade couldn't cut it on television, so now Moon Knight gets an opportunity. It was announced on Oct. 25th that Marvel Entertainment would be teaming with No Equal Entertainment to develop a live-action series. Personally, I think this could have some potential. If they went for a Batman Begins vibe with the show, which wouldn't be too difficult since Moon Knight shares quite a few similarities with the Dark Knight, it could be successful. And there could be werewolves. But then the whole thing could be screwed up pretty easily. The hero's name is Moon Knight after all. And I'm not sure which network would go for it. Still, it will be interesting to see where it goes.

I'm not sure what it is...

But I want one.
(Sorry, the site won't let me steal the pic)

Golden

Kenny Rogers, the only Tigers pitcher who knows how to field a baseball, won his 4th straight Gold Glove award yesterday. It was his fifth overall. The young guns on the Tigers' pitching staff need to pay attention to Rogers in the offseason and see if they can pick something up, because they sure can't afford to field as poorly as they did in the World Series. Pudge also won his twelfth Gold Glove, which extends the record for catchers that he currently holds.

Re: Adios

Adam, do you have a crystal ball over there? Has Ron Mason been hitting you on the hip looking to pick your mind? I'm going to take off my block M hat and think as a general sports fan living in Michigan. It seems MSU has a lot of parallels to the Detroit Lions organization. It's not the players. It's not the coach. John "Too Many L's" Smith had great credentials. Everyone has to admit he ran a fun watching offense. The shuffle pass is one of the greatest things since sliced bread. Saban was obviously good. But, when the MSU brass look at the 5th year seniors and realize none of them have beat Michigan, heads are going to roll Steinbrenner style.

It just doesn't make sense. You couldn't ask much more from your coach. He practically started every year on a big 4-0 run and even 7-0. Hype. Heisman talk. BCS contention. Then the wheels fell off. But not only that, but they fell off 4 staight years and not even Fisher Price wheels were put back on. Apparently each year's first loss was the mental part he couldn't correct. And they weren't just "losses." These were, as Adam would put it (or Kirk Herbstreit), textbook MSU losses. Had the game and blew it.

I realize I'm preaching to the choir here, so I'm just going to stop.

Side note: Adam, how do you get the format that when you copy a quote that it indents the entire passage?

Ocho Cinco...

...has been fined $5,000 for his velcro shenanigans before last Sunday's game. He'll appeal the decision. I usually hate this kind of thing, but I thought the Ocho Cinco velcro nameplate was actually pretty funny stuff. But why appeal? Come on Chad, you knew the price when you planned the stunt. Five G's seems like a pretty good deal, don't you think?

Adios

So, John L. Smith is toast, as I predicted. I've been a fan of Smith's and I think most of the griping about him, especially early on, was just idiotic. The only real knock against Smith when he was hired was that his teams weren't know for being disciplined. If you thought he was a bad hire because of that, you get a cookie. Otherwise, you're just a jackass who's trying to look smart in hindsight, so get over yourself. Having played on a team that just wouldn't respond to a good coach I'm more likely to give Smith some slack. But when it comes down to it this team's psyche was made of glass, and that goes on the coach. It has to. The players aren't happy about the firing. Guess what guys? Tough. You had the power to keep your coach's job. And you didn't get it done. Again. And again. And again. Too many heartbreaking losses; the kind of losses that will turn your stomach years later. Frankly, I'm sick of Michigan State football and probably won't watch another game the rest of the year (they are usually on here in MN). If I feel like, how do you think alumni who actually donate feel?

So who becomes the next coach? This article has a few ideas, some of them are even good. But, please, not Brian Kelly (Hotshot young coach + MSU football = pathetic failure) or Ron English (No table scraps from the Wolverines). And, for the love of all that is Sparty, don't hire Mariucci. Don't. Even. Think about it. My pick? I don't care, because this is how I think it's going to unfold:

So how is this going to play out? I'll tell you. MSU loses it's next 2 games against superior teams, but the calls for Smith's head get louder. The Spartans can't pull enough wins out of their last 5 games and don't make a bowl game. Smith is fired. Smith's recruiting gains go out the window, along with his high-octane offense. MSU begins its coaching search, which turns into a pathetic circus. At the end MSU has an unexciting new coach and a new offense, as well as a slew of soon to be broken promises. Spartan football goes into rebuilding mode and is set back a decade. Dire? Maybe, but that's the path this program is on. There's no easy solutions and a new sheriff won't be able to clean up EL overnight.

But maybe I'm wrong.

"Man on the loose, Officer needs assistance!"

Not so much. Apparently two guys thought they would "help" the police capture a man who was fleeing into a woods they were allegedly hunting in. Here is the full story. Two guys put their camo on and walked through a police perimeter into the woods the man was chased. The two men, 17 and 25, were armed with shotgun and a hunting bow. They found the suspect hiding under a tree and brought him out of the woods at gunpoint.

I can picture it now: "Here you go guys. I got him for ya. Yeeeeee-haaaaaw."

Look you red-neck degenerates. Get your ace out of there. This isn't Walker, Texas Ranger.

When I Remember

Blindside is my favorite band right now and their song "When I Remember" is probably their best work. Check out the video:

Squirrels + Crack = Funny

Some squirrels in the UK are getting hooked on crack. Apparently some junkies or dealers have been hiding the drugs in flower beds and the like, then the squirrels dig it up. And then they go looking for more. According to the article, crack squirrels are a recognized problem here in the US and "have been known to attack park visitors in their search for a fix." I'm not surprised. The squirrels on campus at MSU got pretty grumpy when you came out of the cafeteria without something for them. You could see it in their beady little eyes: "Where's my cookie, punk?" I'd hate to see them actually on drugs. (Hat tip: Cosmo at The Corner)

Fun words to say?

Monkey. A word we like to say and talk about in this blog. But what happened when a heckler used it as a racial slur towards NBA star Dikembe Mutombo? Not exactly a slap on the wrist. He's been banned from attending games at any NBA arena. Orlando said they would refund his season ticket payment. You can check out the story here. I wonder, since they took away his season tickets and banned him from NBA arenas, what more could be done to him? Knowing that, did he call him a monkey again? What would they do? Ban him from next season?

Side note: If your name is Hooman Hamzehloui, maybe you shouldn't be calling someone a monkey.

"No! My candy innards!"

This comic is probably a little sick, but it made me laugh, so I thought I'd share. Enjoy.

Ruing

The Tigers are ruing their poor play in the World Series, especially the 8 errors in the series that lead to 8 unearned runs. "I didn't have the team ready to play the way it needed to play to win a World Series, so blame me," said manager Jim Leyland. Maybe, but Leyland wasn't the one making the errors. How do you prepare your team not to make errors anyway? In a little while I'm sure we'll be able to appreciate the Tigers' remarkable season, but it stings right now. Especially letting that punk Weaver clinch the title. That sucks.

RE: Care to reconsider?

I'm pretty sure that there's a clause in all Big Ten contracts that says if you lose to Illinois and Indiana in the same season you are automatically fired. If there's not, there ought to be. John L. is toast and so is this season. Also, a note to all aspiring coaches: a multiple-TD deficit at the half isn't always a good motivator. I still can't believe the Spartans are actually this bad, but you have to look at the product on the field and all signs point to it being a lemon. Thanks guys, you've managed to steal away all my joy in college football this season.

Care to reconsider?

Ok, maybe you don't fire a guy after a win. However, MSU should never have been down 38-3. Yeah, it was a great come from behind victory, but it shouldn't have been that way to begin with. So, it wouldn't have been too far fetched to see the reasoning behind firing JL Smith after a win. Now that Indiana rolled them up, and I know IU is having an awesome year in Indiana standards, I think by Monday morning would be an appropriate time to get fired. If getting down 38-3 didn't wake them up last week, there has to be problems.

Adam couldn't have said it better

For those of you illustrious blog readers, you've probably figured out that Adam doesn't think too highly of ESPN football "journalist" Michael Irvin. Well, either does Tiki Barber and he doesn't pull any punches. Tiki went on his radio show "The Barber Shop" and let loose on how he felt about a few of his critics. Basically, Tiki is pissed. You can read the story here, but all the meat and potatoes follow:

"And that includes Gary Myers," he said. "That includes Tom Jackson on ESPN. That includes the ultimate character guy, facetiously speaking of course, Michael Irvin. Please get a clue on how to be a journalist."

Amen.

Marvel: Ultimate Alliance

Marvel: Ultimate Alliance releases tomorrow, and it sure looks cool. Check out the trailer and see for yourself. It even has Deadpool. If you don't know who Deadpool is, you're a chimichanga. Obviously it also features more well-known characters like Spider-man, Wolverine, Captain America, Blade, and Beta Ray Bill. Okay, some of those are well-known. I would almost certainly be picking this up tomorrow, except that it's not coming out for the only system I have here, the Gamecube. Maybe I'll have to try the PC version, but I'll have to wait for reviews on that. Or, I could buy a 360... nah, better pay my auto insurance instead.

Hey Chevrolet,

When I'm watching the World Series, you know, the one featuring the DETROIT Tigers and ST. LOUIS Cardinals, I want my truck commercials to be in ENGLISH, not espańol. I'd also prefer truck commercials to feature a truck doing something it can actually do instead of moving a semi or withstanding a meteor hit (Yes that goes for you too Ford and Nissan). Still, I'd settle for English commercials.

Fantasy Football

Adam,

Do you think you could post the fantasy scores on the blog on Sunday nights to give us a little teaser of how everyone is doing?

Signed,

Fantasy Geek

You Read It Here First

John L. Smith is going to be fired. Not right now, or mid-season like another former MSU football coach. But the way the Spartans have played so far today (it's only halfway through the 3rd quarter) the season and Smith's job cannot be salvaged. Adios.

UPDATE: Talk about strange coincidences. Out of curiousity I was surfing the archives from last October and found this post, which is almost a year ago to the day. The content? Referring to the Spartans as a race horse 'Sparty Jones', I said "Looks like it's dog food time. Somebody get my gun." Deja Vu?

UPDATE 2: Maybe I spoke too soon, since Michigan State managed to pull off the biggest comeback in NCAA Division I-A history. The previous record had the teams coming back from a 31-point deficit, MSU trailed 38-3 in the 3rd quarter. This team might just have some life left in it.

Aliens, Predators, Batman, Superman, and... Monkeys!?!

This is either the coolest or dumbest idea I've ever heard: SUPERMAN AND BATMAN VS. ALIENS AND PREDATORS. Now, this isn't completely out of the blue as DC has published the crossovers Batman vs. Predator and Superman vs. Aliens previously. Or, perhaps the writers were inspired by the indie short film, Batman: Dead End. Either way, I suppose there's a thin line between lunacy and brilliance, and I suspect this two-issue series will jump right over it. But still, how could you pass it up? I just may have to check it out.

Another character that is so crazy I just might have to check out: Detective Chimp, who's billed as "The World's Greatest Simian Sleuth" (is there any competition?), and, of course, dresses like Sherlock Holmes. Who wouldn't love a crime-fighting monkey? Apparently he was once thought an embarassment left over from the Silver Age of comics, but has been resurrected recently. As soon as Barrigar finds out about this guy he will surely become his greatest fan. Maybe I'll have to find him a Detective Chimp t-shirt for Christmas.

UPDATE: Uhh, there are no Detective Chimp t-shirts, which is a sad commentary on our culture. Maybe we need Cass City Monkies t-shirts?

The Spirit of Detroit...

... has some new duds in preparation for the World Series which starts tonight at 8:05 PM. Fans are ready too. So how did the Tigers get here after years of being awful? Short answer: pitching. If you want more detail, click the link. Finally, how does Alan Trammell feel about the Tigers' success this season?

"I think our entire staff feels good that we were able to lay a little foundation. It's not like I'm sitting here saying, 'OK, they made the playoffs. Now I'm proud of them.' I've been proud of them all year."

Good luck tonight, Tigers.

You thought you knew it all...

...well, you probably didn't. Since it is October and the "Fall Classic" is just around the corner, I thought I'd let you know about a story I read on ESPN's Page 2. You didn't know Bill Buckner was in a double-whammy situation did you? Well, according to zoomed in picture technology, Buckner can be seen walking off the field with his glove off after the horrible fielding play he booted to lose game 6 of the World Series wearing a...Chicago Cubs batting glove! Gulp! If the Sox wouldn't have won in 2004, Sox fans could now have closure on the '86 disaster knowing everything now makes sense and has come around full circle.

Until next time, here's spanning the world, if there is a next time.

Best Campaign Stunt EVER

Elephant, mariachi band, mexican border. Go. Read. Now.

Money quote:
“If I can get an elephant led by a mariachi band into this country, I think Osama bin Laden could get across with all the weapons of mass destruction he could get into this country.”

Pro Bowl

Pro Bowl voting has begun. You can check it out by clicking here. Being selected is quite an honor, even if actually PLAYING in the game isn't. I'm sure you're all above revenge fantasy voting too. Right?

They won?

World Series fever is sweeping Detroit. It's so infectious, even the Detroit Lions have caught it. They decided to go ahead and win today so that Detroit fans could keep celebrating. Somehow, I don't think the celebration was quite as jubilant, but a win is a win. Roy William had 10 catches for 161 yds and a TD while Kevin Jones ran for 127 yards and a TD of his own.

Disgraceful

I've seen a bench-clearing brawl at a baseball game. But never at a football game. But Miami and FIU changed that last night in a fight that included players stomping on each other, punches being thrown, and helmets being used as weapons (They must have missed the classic "Your helmet is not a weapon" speech). 13 players were ejected during the game and Miami coach Larry Coker suspended more of his players today. Said Coker: "I don't have many bad days. This is a bad day."

ALCS Champions

The Detroit Tigers have won the ALCS and advanced to the World Series with their seventh straight win. Magglio Ordonez hit the game-winning home run with 2 on and 2 out in the bottom of the ninth. Placido Polanco won the the ALCS MVP. More rundowns of the game here, here, and here.

Who's Your MAM?

It's time to nominate some MAM's (Monday Afternoon Morons). Here are just a couple that receive a MAM:

1) Anyone who got married this weekend. Ok fellas, you are about to pick a date. You know it's fall which every real man knows is football season. How do you not check the schedule? Yeah, Michigan-Michigan State week doesn't create any hype at all. Let's see: Every sports radio station talks about it. Heck every news station talks about it. It's all going on at work for bragging rights. The list goes on. I know the "Big Day" is all about you and you could careless about football, but don't you want people to WANT to be there or at least show up? Yeah, I'm sure the bride-to-be is geeked about seeing the reception hall clear out so the guys can go watch the big screen TV.

2) Anyone who attended a wedding this weekend. Did you not know what was going on Saturday? Not just the Tigers, but the Freakin' Tigers were destroying the Evil Empire. Oh, that's right, there was some rivarly football game going on in A-squared that NO ONE had interest in. But, you don't ware the pants and you still went to the wedding. Loser.

3) Terrell Owens. He once again threw his QB under the bus.

4) Everyone that said the Tigers had no chance of beating the Yankees. Hmmmm...I guess this one pertains to me. Oops. Oh well, there's nothing wrong with MAM on MAM crime.

5) The Media and Coaches who rank West Virginia in the Top 5 football polls. West Virginia? WHOM? Do they play any tough teams? And we have to pin our hopes on Louisville taking them down?

6) The Lions defense. You gave up how many points in the 4th quarter? Answer me this: what kind of purse do they tackle with? Is it Gucchi, Ralph Lauren, a Gap Bag?

If anyone has any other MAM's they'd like to nominate, pile on.

Tigers Roundup

I'm short on time tonight and out of town the next couple of days, so I don't really have time to give the Tigers the proper coverage, so someone else is going to have to pick up the slack. That said here's an article with some historical perspective, one looking back at the ALDS, and another looking forward. An observation from the weekend: no one seems to hate a Tigers fan after their win on Saturday.

"This chick is toast."

That's it. I've had it. No more! I was driving home a few nights ago from Mandy's house and had 4 deer either jump out in front of me or walking along the shoulder and could have at any second. So what did I do about it? Well, punk, I bought a combo hunting license the next day from Wild John's. RACK 'EM! "If it's brown, it's down." (Nathan Fritz...during desparate hunting season).

And if you want, just for fun, name the movie that this quote comes from.

P.s. Adam, I don't surf the web for all the comics, but anytime you post one, I don't hesitate to check 'em out. Funny stuff. Keep it up.

Kenny! Kenny!

"I wanted this game as much as any game I've ever wanted in my life," said Kenny Rogers about last night's game. It showed as he pitched 7 2/3 scoreless innings of baseball to give the Tigers a 2-1 lead over the Yankees in the ALDS. This was especially impressive since the Yankees have arguably the best lineup ever. Bonderman has a chance to finish off the Yankees this afternoon.

New Jobs

The Red Wings have a new captain: Nicklas Lidstrom. Lidstrom was the the favorite to win the position after Yzerman retired. Speaking of Yzerman, he has a new job too. He's the new vice-president of the Red Wings. Unfortunately, neither of these moves helped the Wings win their opener, which they lost 3-1 to the Canucks.

Idiot

I think this is my new favorite Dilbert ever. Check it out.

Now for the rest of the story

So I was picking up a supply for the Village at Fairway Discount. While waiting at the counter, I noticed this weeks Chronicle so I peeked at a couple of pages. I noticed I recognized someone who had their engagement picture in the paper. It was Dan Curtis. I just saw him yesterday at the Dealership because he is the GM there. (Side Note: I think he graduated close to my year from Caro.) So I read about the couple in the picture. His fiancé is Laura Price. Big deal. But I kept reading and she is the band director for Deckerville. But that's not the stumper. I kept reading and it said they met on e-Harmony.

Look, e-Harmony = losers. You can't find your life partner by going down the store isle picking out the exact one based on your needs. This isn't shopping. If I need a car, I look for the color, price, year, size, etc. until I find the one I want. Your partner isn't on ebay where you can refine your search: Girl = Blond = Blue eyes = Athletic = Age 20-25 = College Degree = Lives within 75 miles = Christian = etc... "You Have 7 items matching your search." It may work at Best Buy if you are looking for a specific kind of computer. But you won't find your partner on some shelf based on your specifications. "Yup, that's the one. Perfect. She has 250 GB of storage space! Oh, it says here she likes euchre. All right!"

If you meet that person and after a little while realize they weren't what you expected/wanted, then you are basically saying e-Harmony doesn't work and if e-Harmony doesn't work and it's programed to find the perfect match for you and this person wasn't, then there must not be anyone out there for you. Because, gee, if a computer can't find her, how will you ever find that person?

This has been Paul Harvey. Good day.

Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

"More times than not, you don't have a dislike for the people who went to Michigan. It's the thousands and thousands of bandwagon people that jump on there that went all over, went to community college, and all of a sudden they're Michigan fans because Michigan's No. 1."
-Drew Stanton

Call on the Amish Mafia

Just to back up my aforementioned statement on the fantasy football post about Amish Mafia, check out the story.

On another note: I'm currently watching The Cobert Report and he just did a segment in which he called the Oscoda School Board pussies for canceling the rest of the football season. "Get your asses back on the field."

Re: This is how it's gonna be

I was looking at buying a house in the "EL" area, but it appears the one I wanted has already been sold. Dang. And I heard some guy by the name of Steve Mariucci bought it. Oh well. So, anybody else hear of that rumor yet? Side note: Hats off to the Spartans. I don't care who you lose to, you don't let anyone come on your turf and plant a flag, especially a crappy football team like Illinois. But if you really don't want a team doing that, WIN you idiots. What a bunch of underachievers. I also enjoyed the humor in your coach after the press conference: "And somebody slapped me." I like jabs at the Domers.

I am Batman

I already have a Batman mask. I got it in 1996, so whatever version that is, I don't know. It's not as cool as the one you blogged though. Maybe I should get this one instead:

How It's Gonna Be

John L. Smith, quoted in the Detroit News, afer yesterday's loss to Illinois: "Apparently I don’t have the answer." The question? How to get his players to practice hard and be ready for the game. Smith said he knew all week that his guys weren't prepared and he couldn't snap them out of it. Is this his fault? It has to be partly, but John L. has coached successfully at other places, you'd think he can get a team up for a game. But not the Spartans. Based on my experience from playing on a team that just didn't seem to care enough to win, maybe there's nothing he can do. But that doesn't matter. Too many excruciating losses have fans and alumni angry and looking for a scapegoat.

So how is this going to play out? I'll tell you. MSU loses it's next 2 games against superior teams, but the calls for Smith's head get louder. The Spartans can't pull enough wins out of their last 5 games and don't make a bowl game. Smith is fired. Smith's recruiting gains go out the window, along with his high-octane offense. MSU begins its coaching search, which turns into a pathetic circus. At the end MSU has an unexciting new coach and a new offense, as well as a slew of soon to be broken promises. Spartan football goes into rebuilding mode and is set back a decade. Dire? Maybe, but that's the path this program is on. There's no easy solutions and a new sheriff won't be able to clean up EL overnight.

So that's where the Spartan players are. They hold the next 10 years of the program in their hands right now. Turn your season around and save football at MSU, or bequeath their successors a legacy of losing. Make your choice.

MegaMan Vs Commies and Terrorists

Here's a webcomic I found fun in that old-school way.

Quote Me

You know, sometimes you forget that the internet is, well, interconnected. Meaning the posts on this blog could potentially be viewed by anyone. Or reposted anywhere. Like here. What the heck? I'm sure AOL Sports uses some blog-crawl program that searches and pulls up quotes pretty much randomly, but it's weird to see your words repeated somewhere, especially on a respectable sports site. So, the moral of the story? Don't suck.

Disappointing the Frog

Michigan State got an early start on it's late-season implosion this afternoon with a 23-20 loss to Illinois. It was the Illini's first conference win since 2004. It was also homecoming for the Spartans. That's right, they lost in front of Kermit. It doesn't get much worse than that folks. Stick a fork in them, this team is DONE. If they're lucky they can go 7-5 the rest of the way and make a bowl game, but they missed an easy one today. It will be tough sledding the next 2 weeks against UM and OSU, leaving the Spartans at 3-4. That would mean they'd have to go 4-1 the rest of the way. Nope. Don't worry Spartan moms and dads, your boys will be home for Christmas.

"I'm Batman."

Ever wanted to be Batman? Now you have a chance, because you buy a Batman Begins mask to complete your Halloween costume. Batmobile not included.

"...this is why you're Michigan State."

"If you've watched Michigan State for the last 50 years, you know that this is why you're Michigan State." That's what Kirk Herbstreit said Saturday night after QB Drew Stanton fumbled the ball in the 4th quarter. You know what? He's right. Kirk and Bob Davie had the Spartans' number last week. They knew just what to expect, just like every Spartan fan that was watching. Stanton's response: "Everybody wants to say they blew a 17-point lead to Notre Dame, they're still the same football team. Luckily, we still have the whole Big Ten schedule to go out there and prove all of our naysayers wrong." I love Stanton as a football player and a team leader, but he's dead wrong. The Spartans had their chance on Saturday night, and they blew it. Big time. It's already too late to prove the naysayers wrong, because they've proven what they're made of. They would have to beat UM and OSU, back to back to prove they're not that team. Win one? Quite possibly, though I doubt it. Win both? Psssh. Yeah, right. Sorry Drew, you couldn't change the Spartans. Good luck in the NFL. Whatever you do STAY AWAY from the Lions.

Send The Pain Below

So you thought you had a hard day? Tampa Bay quarterback Chris Simms was hit so hard so many times today by the Panthers that he had to have his spleen removed. Yes, you read that right. His spleen. Good thing he doesn't need it. Maybe he can keep it in a jar like Dave Mirra.

The Clincher

The Tigers clinched a playoff berth today with a victory over the Royals, 11-4. This is the first time the Tigers have been in the playoffs since 1987. Yeah, that's a longer drought than even the Lions. The Twins also won today, keeping the battle for the AL Central close.

AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Bachelor Chow 2: Asian Pan Fried Catfish

The other day I was in Meijers. Went to get some chicken breast, but it wasn't on sale. Frozen catfish was cheaper. So I'm slowly learning what to do with it. This is my only attempt that has been good enough to recommend to anyone.

1/2 cup rice
handful oriental blend vegetables
serving of catfish strips
flour
Hoisin Sauce
Spices
Cooking oil

Dump the rice, veggies, and water (appropriate to the kind of rice you use, follow the directions) into a large pan. Start that cooking.
Thaw your catfish (I use short spurts in the microwave).
While the fish is thawing, mix a bit of flour with your chosen spices (I used Lowry salt and garlic powder) in a ziplock bag.
Pour some cooking oil in the bottom of a small pan, start that heating (you want it at or close to boiling before the fish goes in)(Boiling oil pops and splatters, don't boil it to far ahead or stand too close in your favorite shirt (I didn't but it could happen)).
When the fish is thawed, either dump it in the bag, or dip it in some milk then dump it in the bag (not sure how much the milk helps, probably more if you use fresh fish). Shake this until the fish is coated, then lay it in the pan of boiling oil. Let it cook till the breading gets a bit brown, then turn it to cook both sides. Don't leave it in for more than a few minutes, fish is more temperature sensitive than terrestrial flesh (the live in colder environments, so their chemistry is optimized for those conditions. Their proteins denature at lower temps as a result. Also why fish oils are liquid at room temp and animal fats are solid.). (Caution to morons, boiling oil is hot. The fish will be too when it comes out.)
Serve the fish on the rice, add Hoisin to taste (works well for dipping the fish and punching up the rice).

What about Mike?

Lions WR Mike Williams has played in the same number of NFL games that I have so far this year. Now, if I was 6'5", 228 lbs. (I might be one of those), this would make sense. What does Williams need to do to earn a starting spot? Well, that's the problem: he doesn't know, and the coaches won't tell him. So he's frustrated. That's just a great job at motivation. The more I read about the Lions, the more I doubt the coaches. Here's a prediction (look, I'm Roy Williams!): the Lions win no more than 6 games.

Lumberjack Song

I know this has been posted before, but I can't find it because Blogger search is currently a piece of crap. So, to augment my ripping of Ump on the league message board:



You're welcome.

In Case You Missed It

No pun intended for what you are about to read when it comes to "missing" things.

No, I'm not talking about Instant Replay in Oregon. Those officials were terrible. Off the record...ah heck, let's keep this for the record: You're dang right I'm glad it happened to Oklahoma.

But anyway, speaking of bad calls, and this may be the most obsured you've ever heard happen Adam.

Friday night: USA v CC at USA.

USA just scored a TD and kicked off to CC. The ball banked off the chest of the CC returner harder than Nathan Fritz attempting a layup in Basketball. So the ball bounced in front of the returner and he was going after it, just like the USA kick coverage team was racing to get to the ball before him. Well, like a typical fumble, there was a big pile. It appeared the CC returner got to the ball first, but it also appeared a USA player recovered the ball. But, like I say, it was a typical fumble where you don't really know for sure what happened, plus, we were in the stands on the USA 35 yard line. It happened on our sideline, but at the CC 20 yard line.

So the officals all got together like normal to determine who will get the ball. So, what did the officals decide? I'll give you multiple choice.

A. Cass City ball
B. USA ball

Errrrr (buzzer sound). That is incorrect. The correct answer is neither.

They decided to just kick the ball off again. A freakin' Do-Over? According to the Chronicle, the referees ruled that no team had control of the ball before an inadvertent whistle, which resulted in a do-over. Inadvertent whistle my tail. Personally, I think USA got screwed and this all happened near the USA sideline. (Note: On the do-over kickoff, since USA got screwed, there was a "blocking" penalty against CC. Hmmm. I'll bet.)

Then later in that same 2nd quarter, USA threw a 25 yard TD that appeared to be an incomplete pass. Again, we were 75 yards away, but it sure looked like a drop. In fact, I can't even use the word "drop" because that would mean he actually had the ball in order to drop it. If you never had possession of something, it's impossible to drop it. It basically had just enough time to hit both his hands (without dropping it, mind you) and then FALLING (not dropping) to the ground. The referees ruled he had the ball long enough. Rumor has it the officals didn't actually see what happened and by the time they looked (since he was so wide open and it was a perfect pass) they just assumed he caught the ball. Like I mentioned, it was difficult to see the play because...well, let me set it up for you.

CC just got done punting or whatever and USA got the ball on the CC 25 yard line. There was less than 1 minute in the first half remaining. ON THE VERY FIRST PLAY, Bitzer (Brandon) dropped back to pass and everyone in the stands could see this was going to be a TD. Which is why we didn't see the "drop" very well because EVERYONE in the stands stood up waiting to exploded with gayness. And because the guy was so wide open and it was right to him, everyone knew he was going to catch it. But with everyone standing up and the receiver running to the corner of the endzone, I seen it hit his hands, assumed he caught it, blinked, and then seen it falling to the grass. And then I noticed the referees signaling a TD. I thougth they would at least talk about it to see if he had it long enough. Nope. I still didn't believe my eyes, so I just so happened to turn my head to look at the scoreboard to see how much time was left and I saw the USA score changing...28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33.

I hope that painted a good enough picture for you. But I'll throw this at you. I was at the game with Fritz and the gang as well and after what we all just saw minutes ago with the "do-over" kickoff, we were making fun of the refs on what they would call this time. Fritz thought we were just joking around. After seeing the highlights on TV-5, I called Fritz to see if he saw the "drop."

Quote:
Haag: "Did you see the pass they called a TD on the news?"
Fritz: "What are you talking about?"

Fritz didn't even know they called that a TD. Keep in mind, this was after the game at 11:30 pm and he still thought it was a drop.

News 5 was there and showed it on TV but the sports guys did the highlight reel like it was no big deal. If I was the Sports Anchor (since the USA/CC game was the lead highlight) I think I'd question what I just saw. He blew over it like someone in his earpiece threated his wife and kids. News 5 used to keep the video on the net so you could watch from your computer, but they don't do that anymore, or else I'd suggest you watch it on video for yourself.