"Congress To Raise Alpacas To Aid Struggling Economy"

I don't usually read The Onion, but that headline was just too good to pass up. Funny stuff. (Hat tip: John J. Miller at The Corner)

UM was going...

...to have their graduation at EMU? That's just silly, no matter what the reasons. It might be okay if the UM campus was literally radioactive, otherwise it's just nonsense. Nonsense on stilts. With little rockets attached to the stilts.* Anyway, good job to President Coleman for pulling the plug, even if it took input from over 4,000 students to make it happen.

*This is a Jonah Goldberg quote (more or less, I might have butchered it slightly). I've been waiting for days to use it.

Quote of the Day

Via Instapundit, hat tip to Libertas:

"Others have said they would personally be happy to pay higher taxes. I welcome their enthusiasm, and I am pleased to report that the IRS accepts both checks and money orders."
-George W. Bush, State of the Union Address, 1/28/2008

Awesome.

(More) Force Unleashed

Happy Winter-een-mas!

Today is the first day of Winter-een-mas. "How should I celebrate?" you might ask. Go play a video game. Tecmo would be a good choice. Or maybe the original Super Mario Bros. Mass Effect would do too (oh wait, that's only me). Even WoW would be fine. It doesn't really matter, just take a little time to enjoy a video game.

Optimism? Nope.

Bob Wojnowski of the Detroit News is not optimistic about the Lions and their ability to improve next year:

The Lions have no discernible strengths, no obvious plan and no sure stars, although I'll grant linebacker Ernie Sims is a riser. They have nothing they can count on, except for a nice stadium and tragically loyal fans.

I guess you could even call him pessimistic.

Where's the Remote!?!

After watching part of PTI tonight a question occurred to me: who makes you change the channel as soon as they appear on the screen? Phil Jackson and Sean Salisbury come to mind for me, and that's just from the last 30 minutes of television I've watched. Who qualifies for you?

Cold

It was -14°F this morning when I went to work. Who says Minnesota has all the cold weather?

USMC Silent Drill Platoon

Hat tip: Jonah Goldberg at The Corner. To see more check out Our.Marines.com.

Tiki Barber

So, how is Tiki Barber handling all this with the Giants in the Super Bowl a year after he threw everyone under the bus? Do you think he'll seek to get any post-game interviews in the lockerroom after the big game? Just the idea of what he did makes me happy the Giants made it to the SB. But, I was completely pulling for Favre. Come on, who wasn't?

Heckles

Last week, Fritz asked me "what is the worst you've heard or had said/yelled at you?" Fritz is referring to heckles that are hurled at me by players, coaches, fans, animals, blind people, etc. Well, I now have an answer. Friday night I was refereeing a freshman boys basketball game at USA v Reese. USA is coached by Kevin Vermeesch (I think we all remember him) and Reese is coached by Ben Hillborg (and his dad assists him). Quick note on Ben Hillborg. I believe he graduated either with us or a year after us from Reese. But, let's go into the "way back" machine. I can't remember if it was our Junior or Senior year, but it seems like there was a Reese player who took his shirt off at the JV football game or something like that and he was a Varsity football player. I thought it was at the JV game played at CC, which would mean the Varsity would have played at Reese the following night. Well, our Junior year we played at Reese and our Senior year was at home. Anyway, that's not really the point of the story, just wondered if anyone remembered that.

So, back to the game. I may have missed a few calls or fouls. The context of the story is that this occured in the middle of the 4th quarter. Reese was getting beat by at least 15-20 points. Game is basically over. You suck. The position I was standing in during the live action was in front of the Reese bench. I may have missed a call that Ben wanted to go his way. Next thing I hear is "You haven't called anything for 3 minutes. What year did you graduate from USA?"

Seriously? "What year did I graduate from USA?" I wanted to turn around and say, "Coach, that heckle was about as lame as the plays you are calling." So to answer Fritz, that was the worst I've heard. Worst meaning any 3rd grader could have come up with a better heckle than that. I mean, come on coach. Is that really the best you've got? I can think of a million times I've heard that from idiots in the stands. You're the coach. Please tell me you've got something better. You've been hating me for a long time, that's what you came up with? That's your creativity? Well, I guess so, after seeing your play calling and how badly you teach defense. (Side note: I rip on his defense because in the 3rd quarter alone, a total of 19 fouls were called between both teams. NINETEEN!?!?! 10 on Reese and 9 on USA. In one freakin' quarter. So, 10 to 9 is like totally favoring USA. I can clearly see his argument. Nothing is going his way, right. 10 fouls to 9. Way uneven.)

Let me help you coach. Try this next time, except apply it to basketball:

What were you, a lookout at Pearl Harbor!
I forgot the Milk-Bone for your seeing-eye dog!
Can I pet your seeing eye dog after the game?
Have they stopped printing the rulebooks in Braille?
Don't donate your eyes to science, they don't want em'.
Lenscrafter called...they'll be ready in 30 min.
Do you get any better or is this it?
Be careful when you back up, so you don't fall over your dog.
Why don't you get your seeing eye dog to call it for you?

Not "Oldies" 96

Per Adam and I's discussion about "Oldies" 96.1 shutting it down from November 1 to December 26 (probably at 12:01am, not a second later than they had to) so they could play 24 hours of Christmas music, Adam thought it was peculiar that they would go so long with Christmas music. I mean, I love Christmas music, but I can wait until after Thanksgiving, or the first snowfall. After explaining to Adam the commercials the station would play to advertise the station "returning to it's 'classic' music you've come to love" after Christmas, the commercials contained quick clips of music they would be playing. Those clips were not from the 50's or 60's. Adam then figured they must be doing a huge format change.

UPDATE: DING DING DING! Show Adam what he's won!!! Well, for correctly guesing what the company was doing...nothing. Here are just a few of the songs I've noticed are not quiet "oldies."

1. "Footloose" - Kenny Loggins - 1984
2. "Another One Bites the Dust" - Queen - 1980
3. "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" - Queen - 1980
4. "Two Tickets to Paradise" - Eddie Money - 1978

I think I heard the song "Footloose" two times in the first 2 or 3 days of the new format. I knew right away, we weren't listening to oldies anymore.

Now, on all commerical station promos, you never hear the word "oldies." They use the word "Classics." I guess we will no longer reference them as "Oldies 96."

By the way, they do still play songs from the 60's. You still get the loop of Beach Boys, Beatles, etc., but also a higher mix of 70's and 80's (albeit crappy) songs. Except for Queen. They're not crappy.

Tony Dungy...

...will return as head coach of the Indianapolis Colts. Dungy said he will coach at least this year, and potentially more. Of course the Colts don't have to worry about stability as they have alread named Dungy's assistant Jim Caldwell as successor whenever Dungy decides to retire.

Wow.

I was out running errands at Wal-mart this morning and happened to see this:


I was a big fan of Legos as a kid and would have went nuts if something like that was available. I mean, a giant rolling tank and a robot to fight it? It might have been more than a kid could stand.

By the way, did you know they're making Indiana Jones Lego sets now?


Madness.

The Mile High Club

I've been checking out hypothetical airline ticket prices for a weekend flight to New York for a baseball game in August. I've tried nearly every permutation (or combination) possible of airports from the state of Michigan to New York, and all the possibilities of departures (Thursday, Friday, or Saturday) and possible return flights (Saturday, Sunday, or Monday). I've even pretended that the weekend game was in April and did all the same calculations. I even tried 1 weekend from now to see if that made much of a difference in price either.

No.

The best prices I could find were for flights out of Detroit (no matter day/time) in August. However, no price was better than $203/ticket.

So, where we driving to this year? Toronto? Philadelphia? New York?

Traffic Laws

Apparently LeBron James likes to drive fast, really fast. James acknowledged to going 101 mph on his birthday.

I was doing 101," James said Monday after practice. "That's it. I was speeding. I've just got to abide by the law. I got caught. It happens."

Lawyer Colin Jennings filed a not guilty plea for James in Medina Municipal Court. A hearing is scheduled for Feb. 11, when the Cavaliers play in Orlando.

So let me get this straight: James admitted to driving 101 mph but is pleading not guilty? What?!?! What is he pleading not guilty to? That he didn't lie about how fast he was going?

Here's another great quote: "I'm not going to jail or nothing like that," he said. "I wasn't drunk. I was just speeding. That's it." Right. Okay. Gotcha. Of course, not dangerous at all to anybody else on the road. And if you hit someone they'll probably be left with just scratches from your 1000 lb sled going supersonic speeds crashing into them.

Idiot.

CAFE

Something to think about: government-mandated fuel economy standards could kill you. Good to know. (Hat tip: Iain Murray, The Corner)

Damian Lewis & Steve McQueen

Blade vs. Dracula

I know it makes me a huge geek, but I think this is really cool:


Of course, at $349, it ought to be. Ouch.

If you think that's crazy, take a look at this:


That's a life-size Cylon folks, and it can be yours for only $7,900. Can there possibly be enough Galactica geeks (with excess cash) out there to make this worthwhile?

Word for the Day

Actually, it's the funny word for the day: Blegs

I heard it used on the Dr. Phil show today; it means when your butt and legs are blended together. Or, also according to Urban Dictionary, a back that leads to legs.

The Newest Niner

The 49ers have hired Mike Martz to be their new offensive coordinator. Expect to hear complaints about the San Francisco rushing game in about 9.25 months.

"Buy it now...the 'RATED' version!"

You know, there is such a big deal for advertising the "Unrated" version of a movie when it first gets released. There has to be a way or better yet, a market that would actually appreciate a RATED version of a movie. For instance, Mandy and I were watching "The Thomas Crown Affair" on TV on Saturday. I'd love to own the movie, but there is just wayyyyyy to much Rene Russo in the movie, if you catch my drift. So, I'd like someone to make a "rated" version of the movie so I could buy it. I'm not asking we get too tedious and cut out all swearing when making it "rated," but come on, is it that hard to take out the unnecessary nudity? I just think there would have to be a market for it out there. There has to be a decent size audience that doesn't want to see nudity. I'd buy it. Anyone want to go into business? Wait, we need money to start. Crap.

In other news, why is the June Jones coaching situation such a big deal? It's Hawaii. And it's not like he's going to a Pac-10 or Big 12 school. It's SMU. Quick, tell me what SMU stands for...waiting...waiting...that's what I thought. When I kept hearing about all the rumors, I thought for sure they were talking about some other school, not SMU. All that pub...for SMU? We're making a big deal out of SMU? Okay, I won't keep you in suspence any longer: Southern Methodist University.

Clemens on 60 "softball questions"...I mean Minutes

Okay, someone has to bring this up. I have a take because I watched a little of it last night. I just wanted to get a thread going for now and post something later.

Interesting

Could Shia Lebouf be the hero in new Indiana Jones movies after Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? It's not even a rumor yet, but... fascinating.

Question

Is Del Rio's decision to axe Byron Leftwich now completely justified since David Garrard's ability to scramble just won the Jaguars a playoff game?

Hey, Ump.

Steelers' coach Mike Tomlin isn't really Taye Diggs, he's Omar Epps.

Mike Tomlin:

Omar Epps:

See?

Everybody Loves Hypnotoad

The New Champion

Belated congratulations to Ump for winning the 2007 Cass City Monkie Fantasy Football Championship, and also to Kid Loe and Big Daddy for coming in second and third, respectively. It should be noted that after years of being dominated by the same two people, the league has been won by two new champions the past two years. The current championship totals look like this:

Two Titles
Barrigar (2003, 2004)
Stack (2002, 2005)

One Title
Fritz (2006)
Haag (2007)

The coolest thing I've read all week...

...from Tony Dungy's book, Quiet Strength:

Although my dad always considered the University of Michigan his alma mater, those three years at Michigan State-- while my mom and dad earned their advanced degrees-- had a dramatic impact on me. We were there from 163 to 4966, and while I vividly remember looking at microscope slides with my dad, I remember being just as enthralled by Duffy Daugherty's Spartan football teams. Those Michigan State teams ultimately altered the trajectory of my life in an unexpected way.

MSU football is partly responsible for Tony Dungy's career in football. How cool is that?

FF Top Scorers '07

Here are the top scorers from the fantasy football league. This will be updated weekly. * denotes current record holder for the year. All-time is based on '04 on, which I have records for. The scoring was changed for the '05 season to include points for receptions, and then in '07 to reduce points per yard for the QB. The highest team score in '04 was The Living Legend (Bader) with 206.95 pts. The highest team score from '05-'06 was Battletoads (Stack, '06) with 232.40 pts. See the '05 data here and the '06 data here.

Week 1
Top Player: Tony Romo, 46.35 pts
Top Team: Red Raider, 131.75 pts

Week 2
Top Player: Carson Palmer, 53.05 pts
Top Team: Killer Parrotts, 179.65 pts*

Week 3
Top Player: Ronnie Brown and Kevin Curtis, 42.30 pts
Top Team: Red Raider, 145.75 pts

Week 4
Top Player: Tony Romo, 41.35 pts
Top Team: Slumpbusters, 115.80 pts

Week 5
Top Player: Tom Brady, 31.25 pts
Top Team: Slumpbusters, 139.60 pts

Week 6
Top Player: Adrian Peterson, 48.50 pts
Top Team: CLG IGFG ILMC, 133.75 pts

Week 7
Top Player: Tom Brady, 53.70 pts*
Top Team: CLG IGFG ILMC, 138.50 pts

Week 8
Top Player: Tom Brady, 44.70 pts
Top Team: Watered down scorein, 126.60 pts

Week 9
Top Player: Adrian Peterson, 47.70 pts
Top Team: Red Raider, 163.70 pts

Week 10
Top Player: Donovan McNabb, 38.25 pts
Top Team: what u eat 4 brekfst, 140.00 pts

Week 11
Top Player: Tom Brady, 49.55 pts
Top Team: New Record?, 134.05 pts

Week 12
Top Player: Drew Brees, 35.80 pts
Top Team: Red Raider, 142.95 pts

Week 13
Top Player: Tony Romo, 37.25 pts
Top Team: Michael Vick's Dogs, 121.50 pts

Playoffs
Week 14
Top Player: Tom Brady, 44.35 pts
Top Team: what u eat 4 brekfst, 162.15 pts

Week 15
Top Player: Darren Sproles, 27.70 pts
Top Team: what u eat 4 brekfst, 106.70 pts

Week 16
Top Player: Kurt Warner, 36.45 pts
Top Team: CLG IGFG ILMC, 125.85 pts

All-Time
Top Player: Peyton Manning, 75.20 pts ('04)
Top Team: Battletoads (Stack, '06), 232.40 pts

I don't...

...like this one bit. I need something to look forward to next season, and losing another star WR wouldn't help at all.

Red?

I don't follow Kansas in anything, but isn't it kind of weird for them to be wearing red jerseys? When I think Kansas, I think blue. Isn't it kind of like MSU showing up in silver, or UM in yel... er, maize jerseys? Something you just don't do, especially in a BCS game?

Book Review

I've been reading "The Renewed Mind" by Larry Christensen that was loaned to me by Adam and just when I thought I found my favorite chapter, I keep reading and it get's replaced. Looking forward to the other half of the book. Lots to digest and unpack.

"I'm out -- that's it."

Mike Martz is done as offensive coordinator of the Lions. The offensive line coach has reportedly been promoted to his position. The secret to success with the Lions? Be bad at your job and you're sure to move up.

It's Beautiful (Once You're Out Here)

Everybody Loves...Lloyd

You know, it just hit me. I think everyone outside of Michigan must have loved Lloyd Carr. Here is what I'm getting at. As I watched the second half of the Georgia rout on Hawaii (thanks for coming), Mark Richt was going for it on 4th and 5 inside the 10 yard line winning 41-10 with his second string in the game. Oh, and it was a pass play on 4th and 5. I was furious. Game's over. What's the point? Are you that big of a jerk? I really am a Mark Richt fan. I believe he's a strong Christian and I read a good article about him a few days ago on ESPN.com and some of his coaching/motivational techniques. So, it surprised me with his play calling in the 4th quarter winning by 4 TD's. If I wouldn't have had a little biography lesson on Mark Richt, I would hate him. That's when I realized he's the complete opposite of Lloyd Carr.

When Carr had a big lead, he freakin' SHUT IT DOWN. It was up the middle, up the middle, up the middle, punt. Forget putting the hammer down. This was every game when Michigan was winning in the 4th quarter and a first down would nail the coffin shut. Forget putting the pedal to the metal and closing up the game. If the game was still in reach for the other team, meaning they still had a chance to win if they could get the ball back, then Lloyd did everything he could to run 1 minute off the clock and give the team a second chance. And it happened again today against Florida. I don't think they gained 1 yard of offense after Florida failed on the 4th and 6 pass play with 2:30 remaining. Michigan gets the ball back (inside the 30 yd line), runs 3 plays, burns 30 seconds of clock, forces 3 Florida timeouts, and then kicks a FG. Florida still gets the ball back only down 6 points and plenty of time. Who wouldn't love that scenario all the time? How could a fan of Michigan's opponent hate Lloyd Carr? He helps the other team! What's not to like about that?

Congrats to the UM Seniors for finally winning a bowl game. I don't think they would want to end their careers 0-8 against Ohio State and Bowl games.
Then there's this: Record vs Michigan State: 4-0

So what is the Big Ten bowl record now? 3-3 with OSU still to play? Not too shabby I guess.

Hold Up!

Hey everyone, let's just cancel the national championship game and give the trophy to USC. After all, according to all the commentators they're the ones who really deserve it. I mean, I suppose they could be slurping the Trojans a little more in this game, maybe if Lisa Salters proposed to Booty on the sideline. Come on guys, at least try and act professional.

Pontiac Game Changing Performance

Since this has been advertised constantly, I thought I'd throw out a link. You can vote for the Pontiac Game Changing Performance here. If you're a Michigan fan, you'll probably want to go vote to offset the legions that are voting for Appalachian State.

What's the Problem?

Rob Parker of the Detroit News says the Lions should get rid of QB Jon Kitna and offensive coordinator Mike Martz. I'm sure the bandwagon is filling up fast, but I've got one question: Why?

Kitna hasn't been great this season, but where are the Lions going to go? I'm a big fan of Drew Stanton, but he's barely had a chance to play because of his injury I doubt he's ready to lead an NFL team in the next year. Depending on the draft isn't going to fix anything quickly and there won't be much in the way of solid free agent QBs available. So what to do? Maybe they should try and fix the offensive line. During the game last weekend a stat flashed up that said the Lions' tackles both were in the top 5 for sacks allowed. Kitna played that game like a man who didn't trust his offensive line. Why should we think a new QB would magically fix this problem?

As for Martz, he is who we thought he was. When given a team with a poor offensive line and RBs that were often injured, he didn't run the ball. Sure, Martz's aversion to running the ball borders on ridiculous, and certainly didn't help the offense since opposing defenses knew what was coming, but everyone knew what they were getting when they hired him. Maybe replacing Martz is the right thing to do, but let's not pretend this team lost when it did because of a few bad play calls.

Happy New Year!