Memo to low lives who burglarize homes: case them first! That way, you won’t break in on a professional athlete. Exhibit ‘A’; the two “knuckleheads” who tried to thieve Green Bay Packer Noah Herron’s home.
Herron was asleep upstairs when he heard glass breaking downstairs. With that…he immediately when into his “home invasion defense”! Right “out of the playbook” and “ran it to perfection”! First, he calmly called the police to let them know someone had broken into his house. Next, he unscrewed one of his bedposts. Then, waited until the intruders came into his bedroom and promptly smashed one in the head with it! “Owned”!
I wonder if a bunch of “mini Snickers bars” and “Jolly Rancher’s” hit the floor when he “cracked open that pinata”! That loser is still in the hospital and he got his dome split this past Saturday. The other genius was arrested outside the house! Again, criminals: case the joint first! You shouldn’t be messing with NFL’ers, but if you’re going to rob one, check the schedule and make sure its’ the off-season or they’re out of town! You don’t do it right in the middle of OTA’s when the homeowner is sure to be there.
Who knows, maybe I’m not giving them enough credit. Maybe, they thought they could handle a 7th rounder, from Northwestern, who goes 5-11, 215. If they did, they were wrong! Not with Noah Herron ready to take some “B.P.” with his bedpost. Next time, “target the punter” or “place kicker”! I love Noah Herron! He protected his house by “weaponizing” his bed. Dude keeps a bedpost on his nightstand! “Bedpost…Boom…Outta’ here!"
What do I need to sleep with a bat under my bed for?
1 comment:
A shotgun is more effective, but "weaponized bedpost" is definitely the phrase of the week.
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