Someday

Broke

Remember how Michael Vick had lots of money before going to prison? Not anymore. Is it that hard to find good help?

Funny Because It's True

All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to Business School.
-Guenter the monkey, "Mars University", Futurama

Where there's smoke, there's fire

Just to steal a popular phrase used by the Pimp in the Box, check out this story. First off, do you really need a passport to tell these girls aren't 16? Just look at them. If they even are 16...disgusting. EAT!!! I mean, how do you not take one look at them and not say CHEATERS. Again, I'm not an Olympic guy, but Fritz got it start, so now it's on.

It's also a fun article to read because the girls first name is He, which makes it difficult to understand if the person writing is talking about men's or women's gymnastics. Kind of a "Who's on First" thing. Kind of.

Sights for Sore Eyes

I thought I might take some time to post pictures. I don't have cheesy stories to go with them, but hopefully a caption to shed some light on the photo.



The sunset at Grand Canyon.




The end of the thin trail you see running below on the right side of picture would have taken about 4 hours to hike and would have eventually taken us to the Colorado River.




Yes, he's real...and real close. Never know what you'll see when hiking at the Grand Canyon.




The "Strip" at night...from atop the "World's Highest Restaurant" at the Stratosphere.




This pic was taken in Canada in Sept. of '07. I couldn't remember if I posted this before. How "a-boat" that Bald Eagle, 'eh?




This pic was sent to me from Adam via MSN messenger in the fall of 2000, I believe.

Rat-brained Robots

I'm not sure if this is cool or disturbing. Maybe both.

The Olympics are Great.

As a teen, with only antenna TV I remember being glued to the olympics when it was on. Particularly Barcelona, Lilyhammer, etc. As of recent years I dont hardly remember a thing, Sydney, Athens, Etc. However, this time I'm hooked. Maybe it's got a lot to do with the freak of nature Phelps but none the less, its got me.

Second Reason has got to the Jim Rome show. If you have a chance to listen or to read the takes or whatever. The show has been awesome during these games. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that

Canada has a big fat ZERO in the medal count and well the USA is just Big & Fat
or
Its the Olympics not a Org.........5,000 Male Olympians, 5,000 Female Olympians = 100,000 Gloves for the unit.
or
Phelps washing down 3 egg sandwiches with an omelet, bowl of grits, french toast, 3 chocolate chip pancakes, and 1000 calories worth of energy drinks and thats just breakfast.
or
Michael Phelps = George Murason
or
Canada vs USA.....numerous, numerous emails.

If you've got a chance, tune in, or do whatever you can to listen this week. Well worth the time.

Signed.

The round Bacon around my neck.

Say Hello to the Bad Guy

Want more proof that Russia is determined to be the bad guy again? Take a look at this list from John O'Sullivan's article in today's New York Post:

In recent years, the Russian state has:

* Been credibly accused of murdering an exile in London;

* Expropriated foreign investments on behalf of an energy company controlled by itself;

* Cut off energy supplies to other states as a means of political intimidation, and

* Assisted secessionist rebels in neighboring states in order to keep their newly independent governments off balance.

Plus, of course, it has now - no more Mr. Nice Guy - invaded and bombed the sovereign state of Georgia.

Also, you can read another great article on the subject by Melik Kaylan at the Wall Street Journal.

Glory

There's a new post at Monkie's Progress. Yes, it's been a while.

Return of History

This is the best article I've read so far on Russia attacking Georgia. Frightening though.

My Desk At Work

In case you're wondering, that's Hank Scorpio.

Mercenary

Want to know why the Olympics is a joke? Read this story about LA Clippers Center, and former CMU player, Chris Kaman. The short version: Kaman is playing basketball in the Olympics... for Germany. Somehow this is legal; the article gives the impression that you could apply for citizenship in Germany and then be allowed to play. I don't care much about Olympic basketball, but as a sports fan and an American, that's pretty disgusting.

"Never batted an eye."

This is a pretty funny story.

Invisibility

According to Fox News, scientists at UC-Berkeley have developed a material that can bend light around objects. This means that the technology to turn people or objects invisible might have just arrived from a science fiction story. Maybe we are living in the future.

J-E-T-S

So, Brett Favre is the new QB for the NY Jets. Bad news for Chad Pennington. I've been a big Favre fan until now, but I can't wish him well with his new team. This whole thing stinks. Favre's tarnished his image with this ugly episode, and it's pretty tough to root for a NY team anyway. I think I'm going to be an anti-Jets fan this year.

Jailbird

So, Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is in jail. What took so long?

Fantasy Draft

So, what's everyone thinking for the 2008 Cass City Monkie Fantasy Football Draft (we should get a corporate sponsor)? Would people like to try and do a party? Should we try something else? I'm sure there's not many good online draft times available, but we could probably come up with something else if necessary. I might potentially be able over Labor Day weekend. We can also discuss how to set up the draft. Was the random order satisfactory for everyone?

Also, we've added one new player this year, brother-in-law Joe. We're still short 4 players at the moment, so some of you (probably not the ones reading) need to sign-up.

Funny Stuff

Okay, I'm going to do something I never thought I'd do: post a Paris Hilton video on the blog. No wait, it's funny, not that other stuff.



Seriously, how strange is this election going to get by November?

Zoo Tax

Hey Andy, how does it feel to now be partly responsible for keeping the Detroit Zoo afloat? Maybe, if you're lucky, you can get free admission to see the snow monkeys.

Coach to Lions: You Suck

Okay, that's not quite what offensive coordinator Jim Colletto told the Lions, but he did say that he didn't think they were mentally tough enough to run the ball, and that's just about the same thing.

We Are One

The One

This is hilarious:

Two Quotes

I read these two quotes and thought they'd be pretty funny when put next to each other:

"I have become a symbol of the possibility of America returning to our best traditions."
-Senator Barack Obama

"He said something, yesterday, basically, that he embodies everything good about America. Well, you know, it's good to have self-confidence. But you can, maybe, go too far."
-Senator Lindsey Graham

Pudge to Yankees

It must be a sad day in the Barrigar household.

Does bringing Farnsworth back really help the Tigers? Do they need another struggling pitcher in the bullpen? At 5 1/2 games back, have the Tigers quit?

Kwame Brown?

Uh, I hope Dumars has something else up his sleeve, because I'm not sure he can convince anyone that Kwame Brown is the answer. Not to any of the questions the Pistons are asking anyway.

Reform Michigan Government Now

You've probably heard about this ballot initiative in Michigan, and maybe it even sounds good. But here's the inside scoop. Bottom line, it's a trick to give control of the state government to Democrats. To quote Admiral Ackbar: "It's a trap!"

Its funny

....and bizarre, funny and bizarre

The Dark Knight

Wow, that was intense.

Want to feel old?

Die Hard was released twenty years ago today. Hat tip: (Dirty Harry's Place)

It's Getting Interesting

So now Favre is speaking out about his desire to play this season. Here's a line that caught my eye:

And while Favre said the Packers asked him for a list of teams to which he would accept a trade, he wants to be released to make sure he ends up on a competitive club.

Except, you see, that's not how the game's played. Players, even stars, don't just get to decide where they're going to play. It's not in the Packers interest to release Favre, and I don't think they should. And whatever Favre is saying, it certainly looks like he's using his retirement to maneuver his way on to a team he thinks will be a contender. This is going from interesting to ugly very quickly.

New Blue

Okay, I was all ready to make fun of UM's new football uniforms, but they're really not that bad. They didn't make any changes to the blue uniform, which is good since most would consider it one of the "untouchables" in college football. The white is uglier than it was, but not near as bad as many you see out there (I'm looking at you, Oregon). And I do kind of like the idea of having a saying from a former coach on the inside; I'd love MSU to have some words from Duffy on the uniforms. The biggest shock was that Michigan signed with Adidas. The funniest part of writing this? This was one of the top ten results on Yahoo! when I searched for "michigan jersey".

Stat of the week...sorta

This is actually a "just realized this week it was a stat." I found this on ESPN.com from an article Jason Stark wrote.

DYK (Did You Know):

• Quiz show of the week: The sports-humor site sportspickle.com featured a poll last week asking readers to name the most memorable moment in Tampa Bay Rays' history. Our favorite choice:

1998: The team signs Fred McGriff after Tom Emanski refuses the manager job.

If only I could remember how much we made fun of those infomercials during Sportscenter...in Mr. Guza's class.

Batman vs. Joker

Just a little something to get you warmed up for The Dark Knight:

Flip-Flop

Officially, Brett Favre is retired. But that's not stopping him from repeating the same Hamlet act he performed last year when he was considering retiring and decided to play another year; he's just approaching it from the opposite side. Favre reportedly wants to return to the NFL this season. Obviously, this puts the Packers in a tight spot. They've committed to Aaron Rodgers, so if Favre requests to be removed from the retired list and returned to active, they'll either have to trade him or release him. To make it more interesting, two of the most interested teams might be ones in the division. Yikes.

I think it's realistic to expect that Favre has another season in him, but this second-guessing it pretty ridiculous. It's never going to be easy to leave the game and he picked a good time to get out. So stay out. I don't think anyone wants to see a past-his-prime Brett Favre struggling with another team.

UPDATE: Apparently, Favre has decided he wants to play this season and asked the Packers for a release. The Packers have refused. This is gonna get interesting.

Absolute Truth

There's some things in life that simply have to be done correctly. One of these things is putting toilet paper on the spool. Obviously, there's a right and a wrong way to do this, but now we have scientific proof as to which way is correct. Sort of. Anyway, if you're confused, follow the link and check out the diagrams. It's the most important thing you'll do today. (Hat tip: Jonah Goldberg at The Corner)

The Name Game

Via Dirty Harry's Place, here's an article on strange celebrity baby names. The highlights:

Rachel Griffiths' son, Banjo.
Emma Thompson's daughter, Gaia.
Arthur Ashe's daughter, Camera.
Penn Jillette's daughter, Moxie CrimeFighter.
Ving Rhames' son, Freedom, and daughter, Reignbeau.
Nic Cage's son Kal-El.
Kevin Smith's daughter Harley Quinn (from comments on article).

Okay, some of these make Hyacinth sound not-so-bad. Moxie CrimeFighter? That's so crazy I almost like it. Kal-El? That might be setting the bar a little high. Honestly, I thought the cluelessness of the writer was almost as funny as some of the names. Yeah, it sure is crazy to get a name from the Bible. Whatever they might think, I'm pretty sure Max and Levi aren't really that strange. Of course, none of them have anything on Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish, referenced previously here.

Vacation

I'm thinking about taking my vacation July 19-26 or thereabouts. Is there any reason that would be an awful idea?

Sugar Beet Song

I mentioned to my dad that I had seen this posted on Facebook and he remarked he couldn't remember ever having seen it, so:

Stars and Stripes

MLB teams will look a little different this weekend. That's because they will be wearing special "Stars and Stripes" caps (you can see the Detroit version on the left) as part of the Welcome Back Veterans initiative. Some proceeds from the sales of these caps will go to the fund. You can buy the Tigers cap here, or see all of them here. (Hat tip: John J. Miller at The Corner)

Audacious

Have you heard about the rescue of 15 hostages from the clutches of FARC, a Marxist terrorist group, by Colombian commandos? If you haven't, click on the links, it's an amazing story. It's like something you'd see on TV but wouldn't buy as happening in real life. Stupid commies.

Independence Day

The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forevermore.
-John Adams, from a letter to Abigail Adams.
(The Declaration of Independence was adopted officially two days later, hence Adams referring to the second rather than the fourth.)

Your Government at Work

Jennifer Granholm wants Michigan residents to conserve energy. Apparently lowering the speed limit is the way to get this accomplished. You're still going to buy the gas, you just won't get to decided how fast to drive your car with it. You see, you're just too stupid to make those kind of decisions. The state has also started a new website with tips on how to save money, which presumably was developed and is operated with your tax dollars. I'm sure it'll break even.

The Dark Knight

Quantum of Solace

Let's Try It Again

I realize the link on the last post about this wasn't working.

Once you go black...

If that cliche is about Animal Crackers, then it's RIGHT ON. I have a huge kick for Animal Crackers. They are a great snack. Well, a few months ago, Wal-Mart had some "chocolate" Animal Crackers. I thought, "why not?" Incredible. Then, add a little bit of peanut butter, wow! Yeah, still puzzled why stock in Animal Crackers hit an all-time high in April? It was me. They've even recently come out with "cinnamon" Animal Crackers. They are good too, but I'm not ever going back to the original.

Boom...outta here

For those of you who stop your AM radio dial to the Jim Rome Show have probably heard the Brett Myers "retard" incident many times. If you haven't, well, enjoy this. You'll have to go to the link and click on the audio towards the bottom. And yes, it's unedited.

If you don't know anything about this, here's a little background. Back in August of 2007, Phillies Pitcher Brett Myers was doing a post-game interview with a Philadelphia beat reporter. Obviously, Myers got lit up in the game and wasn't in the best mood to be asked questions, especially by a "retard."

Ted Being Ted

This one's for Joe. In this story about Toby Keith's new movie, which happens to star Ted Nugent, the following paragraph appears:

At one point, Keith added, a cottontail rabbit crossed the movie set. Nugent, who still had his crossbow in hand from the scene they had just finished filming, shot the animal and gutted it, right in front of all the Hollywood types there on location.

That's awesome. (Hat tip: Dirty Harry's Place)

Outrageous

This is ridiculous. Lloyd Clarke, a relatively new Frankenmuth resident (atheist, former UAW organizer, and anti-war group member, shocking) was offended by crosses in the town and asked that they be removed. The city pulled crosses off the downtown bridge, but when Mr. Clarke asked for crosses to be removed from the seal, city park, and another bridge the other residents of Frankenmuth got mad. A national organization is considering taking up his case.

I think this highlights one of the worst tendencies of our culture. The article quotes "minorities" as complaining that the lack of diversity makes them feel unwelcome. A new guy moves into town, an apartment no less, and demands that everything change to suit his sensibilities. Here's a secret: If you move to Frankenmuth, it's going to STILL be Frankenmuth. After one drive through town, do you really have any question about what you're getting? Doesn't the architecture make it pretty clear? Lutherans, lederhosen, Bronner's, chicken dinners, that cuckoo clock, and Oktoberfest: these things are Frankenmuth. If you don't like it, don't move there. Is it really that far to Birch Run?

Spore

I downloaded the Spore Creature Creator yesterday and found it's going to be severely detrimental to having any extra free time. It's pretty addictive, and it's only a small part of the full game that will be released in September. Here's a video of a creature I designed using the program.



To learn more about Spore, check out the official site.

UPDATE: Another video.

You Make The Call

You can check out the story here.

I wouldn't be able to eject these guys fast enough. Punks.

Hyacinth

It was announced today that a co-worker and his wife just had a baby girl and decided to name her "Hyacinth". Now, I'm all for any name that's not "Riley" or "MacKenzie", but it seems a little odd. Where did all you parents have that one on your baby name list? (When I asked that same question to my friend Eric, I received the funny reply of the day: "It was 75,276, right after [insert name of hated former Coon Rapids employee].")

Not Funny

I know it's childish, but I did smile just a little when I saw this story linked on ESPN.com's front page as "Yankees lose Wang for at least 6 weeks." It's only funny for the Yankees' misfortune though, not for, well, you know.

ALL ABOARD

Has anyone pulled a hamstring jumping on the Detroit Tiger bandwagon? It's starting to get crowded on here. In case you've missed it, the Tigers are rolling on a six game win streak and 8 out of 10 to finish their homestand before heading to San Fran, the Rainbow nation.

A "Dirty" Father's Day

I don't know about you, but my gift for my dad will "blow your [gift] off" compared to mine! That's right, I got my dad the Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry Ultimate Collector's Edition.

Lobstermen

I just saw a TV listing for Lobstermen: Jeopardy at Sea, then saw it was on the Discovery Channel and thought, "Hmmm, probably not as cool as it first sounded."

It's Back, Baby!

Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football 2008 is open for sign-up. Go here to register. The league ID number is 15503 (I suck, the notification came out between lunch and the end of the work day), the password is, well, you know what it is. Everyone is invited automatically who played last year. If we need to add or drop players let me know and I'll take care of the invites. The draft is set to offline, so where are we having the draft party?

Phrase of the Week

"Weaponized bedpost." Courtesy of Jim Rome, via Ump (should it be "Coach" now?).

Kobe and KG should just play H-O-R-S-E

Another great take from Jim Rome, especially because it's about soccer:

You may have missed it and consider yourself lucky if you did! But, Manchester United beat Chelsea on penalty kicks to win the UEFA Championship. I know, “shocking” that the score was still tied at the end of regulation! Even more “shocking” that it was a scoreless tie! And, how fitting that they would decide arguably the biggest game of the year on penalty kicks?! I mean, how “soccer of them”!

Nothing like playing the entire game and then two O.T.’s…and then deciding the championship on penalty kicks?! That would be like Game 7 of the World Series going to extra innings, and “dragging” the pitching screen out to the mound for a little “Home Run Derby”. If the Spurs and Lakers go to Game 7 in their series, I don’t think David Stern is going to have Tim Duncan and Kobe Bryant play a “game of horse” to decide who goes to the finals.

Look, I’m sure the “cats” playing the game are as bored as the rest of us watching it, but how do you decide the title on kicks? Why not come up with something a little less random like, I don’t know, “flipping coins”?! Or, a “rock, paper, scissors” competition?! Anyway, congratulations to “Man U”, your goalie guessed right one more time than their goalie did.

And as always “soccer fan”, let me save the trouble…I know, I just don’t get it. You’re right! I don’t! That’s my point! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I don’t get it. And, I hope I never do!

Does soccer teach anything about life and fighting through it?

Internal Cover-up?

Another interesting take from Jim Rome a few weeks ago:

The only thing more incredible than the Patriots possibly getting caught cheating…again…is that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell may not do anything about it. Goodell has said he’ll investigate former Pats’ employee Matt Walsh’s claims the team was practicing players on the I.R., but that he wouldn’t penalize them further even if the claim is corroborated.

For one, it has been corroborated. Former NFL OT turned media member Ross Tucker said he saw the Patriots do it when he played for them. And secondly, if it is true, not “hammering” the Pats for it would be Goodell’s worst move since he destroyed the tapes. This isn’t Spygate. If the Pats are doing it and have been doing it, it’s even worse! It’s cheating, just as rolling tape on the opposition’s defense is, but there’s a much greater advantage to be gained by doing it! Players on the I.R. are not allowed to play in games or practice. Letting them do so, enables you to develop them and help them improve. Plus, it keeps the vets fresh who don’t take all the extra practice reps. It makes your team better. It’s a huge competitive advantage. That’s why they don’t let you do it.

And, if it’s worse than Spygate, how can Goodell justify “hammering” the Pats for that, and then do nothing about this? The answer is he can’t. And the reason he’s not, is the same reason he destroyed those tapes in the first place. There’s something he doesn’t want us to know. The integrity of the game is at stake! And so is the Patriots legacy and rep.

Hearing this, you can’t help but wonder how many other ways the “Hoodie” may have cheated. He’s starting to look “serial”!

So, what doesn't Roger want us to know? What could he be covering up?

Batter Up

Check this story out. I read about this on the Jim Rome show website a few days ago:

Memo to low lives who burglarize homes: case them first! That way, you won’t break in on a professional athlete. Exhibit ‘A’; the two “knuckleheads” who tried to thieve Green Bay Packer Noah Herron’s home.

Herron was asleep upstairs when he heard glass breaking downstairs. With that…he immediately when into his “home invasion defense”! Right “out of the playbook” and “ran it to perfection”! First, he calmly called the police to let them know someone had broken into his house. Next, he unscrewed one of his bedposts. Then, waited until the intruders came into his bedroom and promptly smashed one in the head with it! “Owned”!

I wonder if a bunch of “mini Snickers bars” and “Jolly Rancher’s” hit the floor when he “cracked open that pinata”! That loser is still in the hospital and he got his dome split this past Saturday. The other genius was arrested outside the house! Again, criminals: case the joint first! You shouldn’t be messing with NFL’ers, but if you’re going to rob one, check the schedule and make sure its’ the off-season or they’re out of town! You don’t do it right in the middle of OTA’s when the homeowner is sure to be there.

Who knows, maybe I’m not giving them enough credit. Maybe, they thought they could handle a 7th rounder, from Northwestern, who goes 5-11, 215. If they did, they were wrong! Not with Noah Herron ready to take some “B.P.” with his bedpost. Next time, “target the punter” or “place kicker”! I love Noah Herron! He protected his house by “weaponizing” his bed. Dude keeps a bedpost on his nightstand! “Bedpost…Boom…Outta’ here!"

What do I need to sleep with a bat under my bed for?

Around Detroit

According to the Detroit News, Michael Curry will be introduced as the new coach of the Pistons at a press conference tomorrow. I guess they weren't looking for a guy with experience?

In Red Wings news, Dominik Hasek announced his retirement after 16 seasons as an NHL goalie. Hasek isn't exactly leaving on top after being replaced by Chris Osgood near the beginning of the playoffs, but how many chances do you get to leave after hoisting the Cup?

"Lady of Spain"

I saw this and thought of Grant:

What you need to know...

...about Lord Stanley's Cup, courtesy of the Detroit News. A sample of the interesting facts:

- The first US team to win the Cup was the Seattle Metropolitans.
- Scotty Bowman's name appears on the Cup 9 times, more than any other coach.
- It takes 13 years to fill the ring of the Stanley Cup.

O

This is pretty funny:


Go to Libertas to get the story behind the picture.

I want one.

Hat tip: John Derbyshire at The Corner.

Osgood Interview

I assume you've all seen this:

?

Here's a question I'd bet you've never asked yourself: Do vampires have rights? (Hat tip: Jonah Goldberg at The Corner, twice)

Woooooohooooo!

Wings win.

UPDATE:

Flipped

Okay, now that Dumars has tossed coach Flip Saunders, who else are the Pistons going to get rid of? Dumars said: "Make no mistake, everybody's in play now." The consensus seems to be that Rasheed will be dealt (I think I should take the time to note that bringing in Wallace was not the disaster I thought it would be; all things considered, it was a pretty successful move). Here's the most notable names on Detroit's roster:

Chauncey Billups
Rodney Stuckey
Lindsey Hunter
Tayshaun Prince
Antonio McDyess
Richard Hamilton
Rasheed Wallace
Theo Ratliff
Jason Maxiell

Would Dumars really part with Prince, Billups, or Rip? If so, who is out there that's worth pursuing? It doesn't seem to me there's a guy like Garnett available so that the Pistons could go out and copy the Celtics.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Crap.

Full-Body Shimmy

This article seems to me to speak the truth about the Lions:

What have the Lions done to get better? The running back situation is a multi-headed crapshoot. The offensive line is average at best. And the defense is merely a collection of former Buccaneers who, if they were great players, would be current Buccaneers.

Picking the Lions to miss the playoffs hardly represents a full-body shimmy onto a rubbery tree limb. However, it’s important to nip in the bud the annual sense that the law of averages will come into play and that this year will be the year for the Lions.

Ouch.

Observation

NBC hockey commentators < Mickey Redmond.

Meatballs

SLAM!

So, did the Pistons' window for winning another championship just slam closed? It's especially galling to see them lose to the Celtics after listening to the media anoint the Celtics the champions as soon as they made the big trade. I don't care much about basketball, but I would have taken a lot of satisfaction in them being beaten. Oh well. Go Wings!

Cyberwar

So, were you feeling like you could sleep soundly tonight? Then don't read this. Here's the short version: hackers in China, some potentially with support from the government, have committed major attacks against US government and private sector networks. Probably the most interesting (and scariest) thing I've read in weeks.

Tecmo Bowl Kickoff Review

This is what you've been waiting for: video of gameplay in Tecmo Bowl Kickoff, and a review, thanks to Joystiq.



So, are you guys going to go buy DS's now or wait until September?

68

That is today's special number. Can anyone figure out what it might represent? I'll give you a few guesses:

1. My golf score after 18 holes? I wish.
2. Fritz's golf score after 9 holes? Maybe, but no.
3. The number of miles Adam ran last week around town. Probably not.
4. The number of hours Aaron spends online with his computer games each weekend? I hope not.
5. The number of freakin' errors our Varsity baseball team had tonight in the Pre-Districts against Bad Axe? No, but pretty close.

The Answer:

How much it cost me to fill up my 16+ gallon gas tank in my car tonight in C^2. OUCH!

Wisdom For The Day

Okay, you're going to want to grab a pen and paper and write down this incredible wisdom from the lips of Nathan Haag. Let me set the stage:

Mandy and I were eating our Subway sandwiches. Mandy asked if I could save her a little bite of my footlong. I looked over at her and noticed she was putting away the other half of her footlong.

I said, "Your 'little bite' is right there!" I was referring to the fact she still has 6 inches left of her own sub that she can eat.

"I'm saving that for my lunch tomorrow."

Okay, here it comes. Are you ready...

..."There's no tomorrow until tomorrow."

Old School

According to Xbox 360 Fanboy, RBI Baseball might be coming to Xbox Live Arcade. How great would that be? If this happens, I'm going to download the first day it's out. Of course, bringing up the game caused discussion of other NES sports classics, which gives me an excuse to post this video (also featured at the original post):



Bo knows Tecmo Super Bowl.

Wedding Songs

Andy's looking for songs to play at his wedding reception, so I thought I'd put up a post to get ideas. Serious of silly ideas would be appreciated. So far, in the discussion I was in, there was:

Serious
"Grace and Love", Kutless
"Falling Slowly", The Frames
"Hanging by a Moment", Lifehouse
"Your Are For Me", Plankeye

Probably Not
Cotton Eye Joe
The Legend of Zelda theme
"M4 Part II", Faunts (from Mass Effect)

Banned
The Chicken Dance

Any thoughts? I'll add as they come up.

Broken

Vows

I don't know if Andy is writing his own vows, but are some ideas from The Simpsons episode "A Milhouse Divided":

"I will now read these special vows which Homer has prepared for this occasion. 'Do you, Marge, take Homer, in richness and in poorness' -- poorness is underlined -- 'in impotence and in potence, in quiet solitude or blasting across the alkali flats in a jet-powered, monkey-navigated'... [consults the notecards] ... and it goes on like this."
-Rev. Lovejoy

I think the "quiet solitude or etc." line would make for a memorable ceremony.

Good News

All those hours put in coaching kids in baseball may be teaching them more than pitching and hitting. A quote from this article at The American:

But below the radar of popular athletic culture is something that has profoundly shaped the lives of millions of Americans for the better: youth sports. A growing body of research is showing the social and economic benefits of participation in youth sports to be surprisingly large and overwhelmingly positive. Other things being equal, if a kid plays sports, he will earn more money, stay in school longer, and be more engaged in civic life.

Now, this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who's coached kids, but it certainly is nice to see evidence.

Toyman

I got a kick out of this article, specifically the pictures which show Harrison Ford with an armload of Indiana Jones toys that he's just purchased. It's especially funny when you consider that Ford would have been able to buy an action figure with his likeness (Han Solo specifically) for a large portion of the last thirty years. (Hat tip: Rebelscum.com)

The Coldest Heart

Baseball Trip

So, uh, have any plans been made?

Windfall

This article by Jonah Goldberg is the best thing I've read all week. Here's the first three sentences:

Imagine this. You’ve built the better mousetrap. (Because lasers and pneumatic tubes are cool, let’s imagine it uses them.)

You had me at "lasers and pnematic tubes". Seriously though, this is a great evisceration of Washington stupidity. Worth your time.

Iron Man

Quote of the Day

"Oh, let’s also point out that, as a matter of political reality, Clinton might as well be calling for a ban on the use of unicorn meat in dog food, because there is no way her proposal can actually, you know, happen."

-Jonah Goldberg, 5/7/08 column

A Slightly Different Advantage to Being the Heisman

Check out this article on ESPN.com about the sophomore QB Heisman winner, Tim Tebow. He's probably not the only Heisman to "spend time" in prison, but at least it's on His terms. Pretty cool.

B-Squared Sightings

You'll never guess who I ran into at Videomation a couple of Saturday's ago...Brian Brown. I have not seen him since about a year or two after we graduated...when he was coming out of yet another video store, All-Season Video. What are the odds of that? But that's not all. Four days after our Videomation encounter, guess who was coming into McDonald's on Wednesday morning? Yup, Brian. Larger than life. The same gait. Same haircut. Same voice.

New Post

There is a new post on "Monkie's Progress" just in case no one has checked it in awhile.

Third Time's the Charm

A season like the Lions' 2007-2008 season would get some guys down. Not Jon Kitna. He expects to win 10 games this season. Of course. Let's break the Lions down for a bit. Last year, they had no running game, partly because the didn't actual try to run the ball. So they fire Martz and will presumably focus more on the run this year. To help with this they, uh, cut Kevin Jones and let go of T.J. Duckett, leaving them with Tatum Bell, rookie Kevin Smith, Brian Calhoun, and Aveion Cason. Well, that's one approach. Sure, they'll have more yards, but just handing the ball off more than twice a game will guarantee that. Defense? They drafted a LB. I'm guessing pretty much a wash here. Same at offensive line. WRs are about the same, possibly slightly better if Calvin Johnson improves. Kitna should be about the same; decent but making too many important mistakes. The schedule looks relatively favorable, so I'm going to say they'll end up between 6-10 and 8-8. Wildcard: If Drew Stanton comes back strong from injury and shows the spark he had in college, the Lions might just be able to push close to 10 wins. But probably not.

Pic of the Day

$102.1 million

Iron Man, the first blockbuster of the summer, reportedly made $102.1 million over the weekend, making it one of the most successful superhero movies ever. Coming off this impressive success, Marvel Studios announced they will not release a film in 2009, instead concentrating on an Iron Man sequel for the summer of 2010, as well as a Thor movie. 2011 will have a Captain America film followed shortly after by a film featuring the Avengers. If Marvel handles this well, they're going to make a lot of money. Oh, since I hyped Iron Man but didn't haven't wrote about since I saw it, here's a quick review: Awesome. (Hat tip: Libertas)

(In case you're wondering, I was listening to the song while typing this.)

A Galaxy Far, Far Away...

StarWarsShop.com is selling a projector that looks like R2-D2. Apparently it can move, has most of the hookups you'd want, and only costs... $3,000. So it's not cheap. And based on the video, I don't think it's quite lifesize. But it's still pretty cool. I don't think I need a projector quite that badly though. (Hat tip: Gizmodo)

Now, even cooler than R2 is this guy's home theater setup, linked by a commenter at Gizmodo. Wow. I've seen a similar Star Trek themed theater, but it wasn't as impressive as this. Maybe I do need to buy a house after all...

J-E-T-S

I posted earlier that the Lions should think about signing Jehuu Caulcrick as a free agent. Well, a few other teams had the same idea and the Jets actually did it. I'm not sure if he'll make it with the Jets, but I feel pretty certain Jehuu will make an NFL roster this year.

"If it's brown it's down."

I saw a truck in the parking lot of Wal-mart with a sticker in the back window displaying that phrase and immediately thought of Matt. So, has he bagged a deer since those words were uttered (while hunting, getting it with the car doesn't count)?

Tecmo Returns

Tecmo Bowl is making a comeback in the form of Tecmo Bowl: Kickoff on the Nintendo DS. So, how many DS's did I just sell with that statement? Anyway, the game doesn't have the NFL license, so there will be lots of customization available instead. Can it live up to the fabled TSB?