Sci-Fi Physics

One more post: The physics of space battles. Don't bother reading if words like antimatter rocket, mass driver, or Space Marines sound boring to you.

High Jump

The owners of a house in the UK thought roof damage to their house was being caused by burglars. Turns out a cow decided to jump up there. It was only six feet, but that's pretty good for a bovine.

Salami vs. Parmesan

Some people are really serious about getting a shopping cart. Being Germans, I would have expected some more authentic German sausage to be involved.

Kung Fu Death Monkeys

Since Ump's concerned about it, I'm going to push the post count up, thanks to Jonah Goldberg at The Corner. First up, possibly the coolest story ever. Kung fu monkeys attack their trainer. A quote:

At one point the monkey trainer grabbed a staff to hit the monkeys, only to find himself facing a stick-brandishing monkey that cracked him over the head.

Awesome.

?

Is it wrong that after all this business with Tiger Woods that I snickered to myself when Yahoo! sent me a reminder that fantasy golf is starting soon?

Clash of the Titans

I'm not sure that this will be any good, but it could be a lot of fun:

Iron Man 2 Trailer

Stop Whining

Wojo is dead-on in his column today. I'll comment more later.

UPDATE: Not as into this as I was this morning, so bullet points:

-Having so many bowls is awesome. That means we get "Bowl Week" on ESPN. People who complain about this need to shut up and go find some NBA game to watch.

-As Wojo says, and as I've said before, a playoff will only push the controversy down a level. You'll never be able to make people happy.

-Government needs to stay out of football. Idiots.

-MSU will be toasted by Texas Tech. I seriously think it will be something like 48-21.

Enabled

In an article in the Detroit News today, Marney Rich Keenan writes:

Now almost two weeks into the razor-sharp decline of the golfer's once-stellar reputation and along with it, his commercial endorsements, the irony is how many of us enabled Tiger Woods to get away with the infidelities for as long as he did.

If she's casting blame on the media, fine, I get that. Not sure I agree totally, but that's a reasonable opinion. If she's talking about the rest of us, poppycock. I've only been interested in Tiger to the extent that he's a phenomenal golfer. If there were signs that Tiger wasn't all that he seemed, I certainly don't feel bad for not digging them up.

Robin Hood

Force Unleashed II

12 Again

The Detroit News has a story about expanding the Big Ten today. No new information, unless you count a list of teams that have been mentioned previously: Rutgers, Syracuse, Pitt, Missouri, and Notre Dame. They also break down the divisions as follows:

WEST
Illinois
Iowa
Minnesota
Northwestern
Purdue
Wisconsin

EAST
Indiana
Michigan
Michigan State
Ohio State
Penn State
New team (Pitt, Rutgers or Syracuse)

So I was more or less correct with my guesses.

RE: 12?

(This was going to be a comment, but ran long.) Setting up the divisions was another problem that had occurred to me too. East and West would make the most sense geographically speaking. Assuming a new team was in the West, the divisions would be:

EAST
PSU
OSU
UM
MSU
Indiana
Purdue

WEST
Illinois
Iowa
NU
Wisconsin
Minnesota
New Team

Assuming I have my geography right (which I might not), the East would be a heck of a division, having all three of the historical powerhouses in the conference. But you absolutely need to keep UM vs MSU and OSU vs UM. I know something similar happens in the Big 12 with Texas and Oklahoma in the same division, but it seems less than ideal to me.

RE: Top Coaching Jobs

I've thought about it a bit, so I'll try an answer. Note: These are what I think would be generally thought of as the top coaching jobs, not the jobs I'd want most as a coach. Obviously my personal list would begin and end with MSU.

Basketball
1. UNC
2. Duke
3. Kentucky
4. MSU
5. Kansas

It's tough for me to evaluate MSU because it's difficult to imagine Izzo leaving. I think it will be a highly desirable job, almost as much as the top two, when he steps down (hopefully after many more years). I think the other jobs Ump listed could easily make it to #5, but Kansas has an edge in my mind.

Football
1. USC
2. Florida
3. Texas
4. Michigan
5. Notre Dame

I'm really not sure about these. In college football things change pretty fast. Should 'Bama be back on top because they're playing for a national championship? Is Miami still a desirable job? What about FSU (Seminoles, not Bulldogs)?

Jingle Bells

Seems it's that time of year:

Arkham Asylum 2

12?

Barry Alvarez says that the Big Ten is seriously looking to add a twelfth team. I'm sure I've mentioned before that I'm generally not a fan of the idea or of adding divisions and a championship game. I'm more interested in a different question here though, namely, who would the Big Ten target? Some thoughts:

ND: Notre Dame still makes more money being an independent, and having just hired a new coach it would be at least three years before things might change enough to make joining a conference realistic.

Cincinnati: Cincy is pretty high-profile right now and would make sense geographically. But do they meet the academic standards?

Directional Michigan: I saw this brought up, but I can't really see it happening. both Central and Western have had some success in recent years, but it doesn't seem like enough to move up to Big Ten status (I guess this pretty much goes for all the MAC teams). Plus, like Cincy, you've got the academic question. Also, would UM and MSU be for or against?

Pitt: I don't see them leaving the Big East, but they do seem like they'd be a good fit in general.

I don't really see any other I-AA (yeah, I'm still using that designation) that would seem even a little likely. Thoughts?

Shatner and Palin

Top Coaching Jobs

Give your top 5 most desired coaching jobs in College Football and Basketball (not necessarily in particular order):

Basketball:

1. North Carolina
2. Duke
3. Kentucky
4. Kansas
5. UCLA, Indiana, UCONN, MSU, or Syracuse


Football:

1. ND
2. Michigan
3. Florida
4. Alabama
5. Texas, Oklahoma, or Nebraska

Captain Planet with cats!

After reading John Nolte's review of Avatar, I have to post this video, which came out months ago when the first Avatar trailer hit. WARNING: Language. And Nazis. But mostly language.

Transformers: War for Cybertron

This might be cool:

Bad Moves?

I'm no baseball expert, but it seems to me if the Tigers want to get worse, this would be the way to start. Am I wrong?

UPDATE: I think Lynn Henning got one thing right in this article: Tiger fans are going to be pretty unhappy about trading Granderson, even if a reasonable case can be made for doing it. Following a disappointing season by trading away your most popular player isn't a recipe for enthusiasm.

UPDATE 2: Sports radio in Detroit is going to be epic tomorrow. Someone needs to fill me in on what they hear.

Remember the Alamo... Bowl

The Spartans are headed to the Alamo Bowl, where they will likely be massacred, with the Red Raiders of Texas Tech playing the role of Santa Anna and his army. While it's a relief to be playing a team that doesn't have a future first-round NFL QB at the helm (the last two years MSU has faced Matthew Stafford and Matt Ryan), facing a team that averages 380.7 passing yards per game (per NCAA stats) isn't much of a consolation. But rather than dwell on the negatives, I'll try to be inspiring, so, in the words of William B. Travis, "VICTORY OR DEATH!"

Uprising

House Humor

Seeing the Steelers on TV made me remember that I wanted to post this:

Fraternizing

Apparently the guy those Spartan football players went to Rather to beat up was a frat boy. So, instead of suspending the players, I think we should give them some kind of award. Maybe a medal?

College Football

Got your back, Ump:

What do we have this weekend? #1 v #2...Florida v Alabama. (In this entire scenario, please assume a 3 point loss or an OT game). Winner advances to championship game of BCS. Fine. Loser...more than likely out of a chance for a championship rematch. That's what bothers me.

Wasn't there a championship rematch in the 90's? Florida v FSU? FSU won the regular season game, then the "Ole Ball Coach" got Florida back in the championship with Danny Wrueful (sp?) complained about the cheap shots on the QB and Florida beats FSU in the National Championship.

If Florida v Alabama plays 10 times, is it split 50-50? Does each win 5 times?

Here's my problems: Who is supposed to win the game Saturday? Florida. Why? Because they are the #1 team. If they weren't supposed to win, then they shouldn't be ranked #1. If Alabama is supposed to win, then they shouldn't be ranked #2. So, if the game is close or ends in OT (on a neutral field) why does the #2 team get penalized? Why are they going to be dropped in the BCS rankings? THEY WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO WIN!!!

Think about it. The SECOND BEST TEAM in the country loses by 3 points or less or loses in OT. Why aren't they still considered the second best team out there? By dropping them in the rankings, what you are saying is another team could have done better or should have been ranked #2. If that is the case, how can you do much better than a 3 point loss or an OT loss? The only way you can do better is if you WIN! In that case, Florida shouldn't be the #1 team!

If you think #2 Alabama is better than #3 Texas, then it shouldn't matter if Alabama loses to #1 Florida (as long as the game is close). Alabama should still be considered better than Texas even if they lose.

Either way, the system is what it is. If Florida loses in the National Championship to Texas, Texas is the National Champion. But are they really the best team? For one game they beat Florida.

If a team wins the National Championship, they should be #1. But in the regular season, you don't become the #1 ranked team just because you beat them. Appalachian State didn't become #3 in the country just because they beat Michigan. Michigan also didn't become unranked just because they lost to an unranked team.

It is what it is. Even a playoff doesn't change things because what if Texas loses to TCU but TCU loses to Florida, but Texas (if they would have played) could have beat Florida. You can't possibly play everyone.

Once again, we've been down this road before and I don't have an answer. Just like the NCAA tournament...it's only a TOURNAMENT! It's about who can survive for 6 games.

The only solution I have is to take the six BCS conferences and rank each team individually in each conference. Completely get rid of the AP, BCS and Coaches Poll rankings. Then, at the end of the year, take the #1 ranked team from each BCS conference and then pick two "At-Large" teams from the rest of the country. Now you have 8 teams for a playoff.

If you rank each team in each BCS conference, that's pretty simple because for the most part, everybody plays everybody. Obviously Michigan doesn't play Northwestern every year, but you can easily rank based on conference records.

The only argument to this is Florida, Alabama, and LSU might all be better than Ohio State, but only Florida might make the cut.

If college football ever got around to doing some "Big Ten/ACC" challenge like basketball (which would be a great idea by the way), you could have a way each year of saying who the better conferences are. Then, if you needed to pick an "At-Large" team that did not win their conference, a second SEC team could be picked ahead of the second best Big Ten team.

Thoughts? Comments?

Tiger, Tiger Turning Right

I thought this poem, from a reader of The Corner, was pretty funny:

Tiger Tiger turning right
In the driveway late at night
Your immortal hand and eye
Couldn't make the car comply?

Of whose waiting shapely thighs
Did you dream with bolted eyes
Instigating you to crash
Into the stately water ash?

Was it worth a rendezvous
With some star-struck ingenue
Just to verify you could
Withstand a sliced Norwegian wood?

Tiger Tiger turning right
In the driveway late at night
What covert obsession made
You climb into the Escalade?

Too soon?

Suspended

Looks like Mark Dantonio is going to have to put that trademark frown to good use and lay down the law in the football program, because this kind of thing can absolutely not be tolerated.

You know, Rather Hall wasn't nearly so exciting when I lived there. I don't think there was ever a fight with more than 2 people involved.

Iron Man 2

Yahoo! Movies unveiled the first Iron Man 2 poster today:

Great Expectations

As many expected, Notre Dame fired coach Charlie Weis today with six years left on his contract.

A couple thoughts:

- Apparently there was speculation about Oklahoma's Bob Stoops and Florida's Urban Meyer being candidates for the job, but both have said they aren't interested in leaving their current positions. Do people really think Notre Dame is a coaching job that would lure those guys from such great positions? I think many, perhaps overcome with nostalgia, vastly overestimate the draw of coaching at ND.

- Dan Wetzel of Yahoo! Sports would say I'm wrong.

- ND plays Purdue, Michigan, MSU, Stanford, BC, Pitt, Western Michigan, Navy, Tulsa, Utah, Army, and USC next season. That's a pretty respectable schedule, with only two sure wins (Army, Tulsa). How well can ND expect to do?

- How long will it take Weis to find a job? I think he has another in a month if he wants one. Of course, if he's paid the $18 million that is rumored to be on that contract, he might just stay home.

- Is it possible Domers are more arrogant than Wolverine fans? I think possibly, but it's close.

Big Daddy....Again

Yes it's true...Lillyan Hope Fritz was born 11/19/09 at 1:50am. She came in at a lightweight 7lbs 10oz. (Insert monkey picture here) A bit trimmer than her almost 9 lb sister. She reminds me that life starts out great ... Eat, Sleep, Poop, Repeat. Those were the days.

PS. She came out with lots of black hair, I'm going to assume I am the father until the test results come back. (Insert your "How's your wife and my kids" Blast here)

Wow

Did anyone else see that one-handed TD grab by Dallas Clark? That was ridiculous.

Thanks

I'd like to thank the Buckeyes for beating Michigan and making sure MSU will go to a bowl game by making sure UM wasn't in the mix. I can't say the Spartans really deserve it, but it sure beats staying home.

Just ask Rich Rodriguez.

Cat in Fan

"Friends" Reference

Pivot!

While trying to move a white couch downstairs into the basement, this happened. The culprits? Barrigar, Fritz, my sister-in-laws boyfriend, and myself. It was a huge fight between the walls, doorways, ceiling, stairs, and the couch. Needless to say, we snapped the backrest frame...and still couldn't get it downstairs.

It's still upstairs. My wall still isn't fixed. (Fritz was the man on the stairs, calling the shots.)

Mess of Me

So, when did Switchfoot decide they wanted to rock again?

He Shoots, He Scores!!!

Make that a 6 pointer.

Actual Wisdom

I don't generally pay much attention to NFL pregame shows or halftime updates, but as I was half-listening to the halftime update during the Lions game I heard something that actually seemed fairly insightful. Michael Strahan (I think) said (approximately): "A great team plays to their level, not to their opponent's level." That's one of the most succinct definitions of a great team that I've ever heard.

Quote of the Day

"O-State, we are coming."
-UM defensive end Brandon Graham

Yeah, somehow I don't imagine the Buckeyes are going to be losing a lot of sleep over the prospect of facing the UM defense.

Wolfram Alpha

I was just flipping through the most recent issues of Popular Science and came across an article about Wolfram Alpha a "computational knowledge engine." Essentially, it takes your question and gives you an answer instead of pointing to a website. If you put in an equation, say x²+4x+24, it gives you this, the answer to pretty much any math question you'd get related to that formula. Put in 3/12/1981 and you receive a wealth of information about that day. Type in Cass City and you can find out anything from the map coordinates (43.6° N, 83.18° W) to the population (2,606 people). This probably makes me a geek, but I think that's awesome.

Marvel's Hottest New Character

You can see the tease here.


This is really just an excuse to post a picture of a monkey with guns.

Helmetless

There's an interesting article in the WSJ today about the possibility of reducing concussions by eliminating the traditional football helmet.

While it's not as crazy as it sounds, I can't believe it would actually happen. Improving helmets and tackling fundamentals would seem to much more palatable to me, and more likely to be implemented. Not to mention the whole thing reeks of the obsession with safety that has infected our culture. For example, one commenter on the article claims that you can't play football for any length of time without suffering a concussion. Really? I don't have any data to back this up, but I'd be shocked if more than 5% of young men playing football suffer a serious head injury. My gut says it's probably less than 1% of the millions that play.

Freedom from Responsibility

What the people wanted was a government which would provide a comfortable life for them, and with this as the foremost object ideas of freedom and self-reliance and service to the community were obscured to the point of disappearing. Athens was more and more looked on as a co-operative business possessed of great wealth in which all citizens had a right to share. Athens had reached the point of rejecting independence, and the freedom she now wanted was freedom from responsibility. There could be only one result. If men insisted on being free from the burden of a life that was self-dependent and also responsible for the common good, they would cease to be free at all. Responsibility was the price every man must pay for freedom. It was to be had on no other terms.

-Edith Hamilton

Wildcats 17, Hawkeyes 10

Sooner or later your mistakes will catch up with you, and that happened to Iowa this afternoon. I shed no tears for the Hawkeyes, even though the loss will knock them from the #4 spot and pretty well confirm the conventional wisdom about the Big Ten. How much do Iowa fans hate the Wildcats right now?

Izzo's Basement

Pumpkins

To get just a bit of Halloween flavor into the blog today, here's a link to twenty movie villain pumpkin carvings. One of my favorites:


Much more at the link. (Hat tip: Kathryn Jean Lopez at The Corner)

Bad Calls

Earlier in the week I said: "I don't think there's been any intent behind the bad calls, at MSU or elsewhere, just stupidity." Watching the Iowa-Indiana game this afternoon, I might have to rethink that. The officials seem to be doing all they can to make sure the Hoosiers don't pull off the upset.

Tecmo Oddities

10/25/09
1.
Steelers 14
Browns 7

Start of 4th quarter. Browns ball on the Browns 10 yd line. 4th and 20.
Result...THEY WENT FOR IT! What in the world was the computer thinking? You are only down by a TD with a full quarter to go! And it's 4th and 20.

2.
Steelers v Oilers:
Houston attempted a 68 yd FG, hit the upright and ricocheted in. I don't know if I've ever seen a team attempt a FG beyond 55, let alone make one beyond 50.

3.
Later that day...
Steelers v Bengals
Bengals decided AGAINST kicking a 50 yd FG.

4.
Bills finished the regular season 17-3 (they played 5 games in week 1). They only lost to themselves and me. So, after the first week, they were 14-1.

5.
Lions and Washington made the playoffs with 8-7 records (15 games).

6.
Atlanta finished 1-15.

7.
10/28/09
Playoffs - Wildcard
Raiders 77
Oilers 68

Bo Jackson: 23-697 yds, 11 TD's.

8.
Playoffs - Division Championship
Raiders v Bills

Bo Jackson had 3 fumbles while his "Physical Condition" was "Excellent." When his condition is "Excellent," his ball control is "94." How does someone fumble 3 times when their ball control is 94? How does someone fumble when their name is Bo Jackson? He's BO freakin' JACKSON!

9.
Super Bowl
Steelers 35
49ers 20

Gave up a 70 yd INT return for TD to David Waymer. Probably the first ever "Pick-6" I've ever given up, let alone 70 yds.

Redskins Were No Better

Rome Take: 10/27/09

Hard to imagine why the Redskins didn’t hang 50 on Philly with their new ‘bingo-caller’ in the booth. I thought Sherm Lewis ripping the play calling duties from Jim Zorn would turn the ‘Skins into the Saints. I thought dialing up B-9 was a great call in the red-zone. And that G-57 really caught the Eagles off guard on 3rd and long. Just like riding a bike, ehh, Vinny Cerrato. Sure it’s not.

In fact, now would be a pretty good time, Vinny to get on your bike, with Jim Zorn on the handle bars and ride towards I-95 and right out of town. This isn’t on Lewis. This is on the ‘Skins for calling Lewis. What was he supposed to do when they called? Not pick up the phone. Say no when they offered him the job? Like, “Hey, Sherm, what do you say you come up here and call some plays?” “Oh, I don’t know, Vin. I’ve got a couple of huge bingo games to call Tuesday night and a few meals on wheels to get out Wednesday morning. Yes!! When do I start?”

Bad news for Lewis, though because that Chris Cooley ping pong ball isn’t coming out of the hopper now that he has a broken ankle. Quarterback Jason Campbell said, quote: “Losing Chris is big.” No it’s not. I mean, it would be on any other team in the league, but not yours. Because you guys aren’t going anywhere anyway, and you probably won’t even know he’s gone.

Besides, are you even still the starting quarterback, J.C.? The Raiders think you guys are dysfunctional and are laughing at you. I tell you what’s not funny…the cruel and inhumane treatment of Jim Zorn. The only thing more humiliating then ripping his play-calling duties and letting him twist, is trying to break his will to get him to quit so you don’t have to pay him. He’s not going to quit and hand over to you what’s left of his manhood, Dan. So do the right thing, admit the mistake, scratch him a check and start over. Again.

Curious

Is there some contractual thing between ESPN and the NFL and other TV networks? Why is it that espn.com won't show MNF highlights? How come it seems "Sportscenter Highlight of the Night" on espn.com is from non-ESPN games? Another example is from the MLB playoffs. Some games would contain highlights on espn.com, others would just be the story.

Bottle Rocket Propelled Squirrel

I don't spend a lot of time reading fantasy columns, but this quote from Brad Evans on the Chicago offensive line is gold:

Though center Olin Kreutz has played at a respectable level, the right side has been equally deplorable. Based on the lack of chemistry at the bookends, not even a bottle rocket propelled squirrel could burst through the holes generated by the underachieving unit.

The rest of the article is here.

Reasonable Cause

The NCAA told the University of Michigan yesterday that there is "reasonable cause to believe that major violations have occurred" in the football program. This is a long way from determining UM is guilty, but there will be an actual investigation.

?

After seeing some real horsesh*t personal foul calls the last few weeks, here's a question: Is the Big Ten becoming a league for pansies? Jeremy Ware made a hit that made me sit up and say "Nice hit!" No thought for even a second that it might be a penalty. If I'm on the sidelines I'm slapping him on the back telling what a good play it was. Then the refs throw a flag after the guy has been on the ground for a minute. That's garbage. If the conference isn't going to let the players play hard, then maybe it really is as awful as the critics say.

Outrage

You can check out the actual video here, embedding is disabled (which is stupid) on that one. I had to do a double-take during the video because the drummer looks so much like Kid Loe.

Fantasy Tecmo

10/19/09

Raiders 70
Bengals 56

Bo Jackson: 26 attempts - 689 yds, 9 TD's.

If you are wondering where the 10th TD came from, it was the last play of the game, an onside kick after the Bengals scored a TD. The onside was picked up and returned for a TD.

Pretty much the strategy was let the opponent score ASAP. "Return" the kickoff by running backward to the 1-yd line and going out of bounds. Give the ball to Adrian Peterson...errr...Jackson and score. Then kick an onside kick and hope the opponent recovers, and, if possible, score a TD. If not, let them score ASAP and do the process all over again.

Fantasy Points: 123




10/21/09

Chiefs 63
Seahawks 40

Christian Okoye: 29 carries, 717 yds, 9 TD

Same strategy as before.

Fantasy Points: 126

I'd like to do another game with Jackson excellent. I think I can break 800 yds.

?

So, who's all broken up that the Shock are leaving town?





Yeah, that's what I thought.

For the Birds

Not Cool

I know it's hard to get an NFL coaching job, but why would Jim Zorn put up with the front office bringing Sherm Lewis out of retirement then "strongly suggesting" that he take over the play-calling? That's crap. Just quit, it's not like everyone doesn't already know Snyder's a world-class moron.

Eerie

Want to hear something strange? Well, I sold some tickets on Stubhub last night. That's not strange, but the name on the shipping label made me do a double-take. What was that name? Nathan Fritz. From Michigan, but obviously not CC. Still, made for a weird moment.

While I'm thinking of it, the coolest name I've seen on a shipping label I've printed? Justice Ross, which we should put on Matt's list of names to use for a son (along with Rock).

Tecmo Time!

It's been a long, long time...but I'm back on the habit of a little Tecmo Super Bowl. I'm currently halfway through a season with the Steelers. I thought I'd share a recent game and also how the game has been "holding up."

October (1-10?), 2009:

Pittsburgh v New England

Final Score: 65-7

This was probably one of my biggest days ever, offensively and defensively. Here are the stats:

5 INT
1 Fumble Recovery
1 Safety
1 Defensive TD
7 points allowed
2? sacks (didn't count those)

Three of my 5 INT's were returned inside the 10 yard line, one for a TD! I think in all my years of playing Tecmo, that may have only been my SECOND INT returned for a TD. I was tackled on the 8 and 3 yard line on the other two big INTs.

If we were playing Fantasy Football, Pittsburgh would have had at least 26 points.


Other games:
In the first game of the season, Dwight Stone took his one and only kickoff to the "house." In the next game, first kickoff of the game, Dwight Stone gets tackled at the 50 yard line. Done. Injured. First time he's tackled all year...injured. And, he didn't come back until 2 or 3 games later. Side note: In his absence, the new kick returner also scored a kickoff TD.


The Game Itself:
When I first fired up the game again, it had already been reset and all I had to do was pick my team to get going into week 1. As it was simulating through the games, I noticed one of the scoreboards of the games on the screen said "Buffalo v Buffalo." So, I stopped it from simulating and looked at the week 1 schedule. Sure enough, Buffalo played Buffalo. Not only that, but Buffalo already played earlier in the week against Miami. Then, not only that, but later in the week 1 schedule, Buffalo v Buffalo again! So, after the first week of games, Buffalo's record was 3-2. (Their record is now 13-3 because they lost to me.) So, obviously since Buffalo played so many games in week 1, somebody must have been left out. Yup, Washington v Detroit and Seattle v Rams (or whomever it was).

There are numerous other gliches in the game:
1. Christian Okoye has 512 Punt Return yards on 0 returns.
2. Emmitt Smith has 256 Punt Return yards also on 0 returns.
3. Ottis Anderson has 256 Punt Return yards on 21 returns.
None of these guys are the teams Punt Returner. Literally! If you look at the starting roster, there not listed as the PR.

4. Some teams' QB plays all the positions. For example, Grogan for NE was also one of the RB's and the Kick and Punt returner. Rypien for Washington was the entire WR cast and special teams.

Oh, when Buffalo played Buffalo, Thurman Thomas and Jaime Mueller got injured. But, they were on different Buffalo teams, so when I played Buffalo the next week, Thomas was injured, but Mueller was healthy.

There are a few other stats messed up too. It seems as if when the season was reset, 3 teams fell through the cracks and none of their stats were reset.

I've also noticed that Bo Jackson is currently in "Excellent" condition for his next game. I think I'll become the Raiders for a few games.

Out of the Basement

Actually I'm in the basement, that is where the computer is. However, as Rome likes to call vacation being in the "basement," I've been having some major computer problems (all I had to do was borrow Barrigar's 150 GB external drive so I could restore my computer) for the last month so I haven't held up my end of the contract of posting. If I want to reach any of my contract incentives, I've got to make 27 more posts by the end of the year. And, Caro won't let me create posts on the blog. Buttholes.

How do you like them apples?

Check out this story. The State of Michigan is apparently strrrrruuuugggglllinnngg during these wonderful ecomomic times. They have predicted they will have to cut from many major areas. So, what did the Huron County commissioners do? Basically said, if you don't give us what is supposed to come from the State, then we're not giving you what is supposed to go to the State.

“This Board of Commissioners of Huron County intends to explore every legal means of withholding, dollar for dollar, any payment due to the State of Michigan where the state has withheld payments to the County of Huron that are mandated,” Tuesday’s resolution states.

MAN'S GAME, Jenny!

That's so funny I forgot to laugh

If you haven't heard, or you weren't paying attention during the Super Bowl commercials, Jay Leno is no longer doing "The Tonight Show" and now has his own show called, you guessed it, "The Jay Leno Show" at 10pm, still on NBC.

Early on in September when it debuted (sp?), I tried to catch some of the show. One night during the first or second week, Jay was calling out his first guest. Pee Wee Herman. WHOM?!?! I know what you're thinking: "Haag, you mean Paul Reubens, right?" No, Paul Reubens actually came out in character as Pee Wee Herman. Annoying voice and all.

I really had hoped this guy fell off the face of the earth. The world was a better place when he was not in the news. It's been, what, 15 years since anyone's really heard of him? Did anyone care? Not me. The guy looked and sounded exactly the same like he'd been doing the old bit all along. He doesn't even look a day older.

But my biggest problem is with Jay Leno. Jay, you have a brand new show. You are Jay freakin' Leno. Please tell me you have something more to offer than Pee Wee Herman. Your FIRST guest?!?! FIRST? What, was David Spade not available? Was Howie Mandel busy with some game show? Arsenio Hall didn't want any of this action? Please tell me you aren't pinning your hopes in the second week to Pee Wee Herman. You've got to have someone lined up better than him, right?

Weird.

Attention to..."I know you are but what am I," "If you love it why don't you marry it," "That's my name, don't wear it out," "'Can I go to the bathroom?' 'I don't know, can you?,'" "That's so funny I forgot to laugh."

We all missed you guys.

Sincerely,

NOBODY

Obama Address

SNL Skit

MLB needs Instant Replay

Another Rome Take

I know, I know, Major League umpires have one of the toughest gigs in all of sports. They must, because it seems like they butcher a key call every single night in the playoffs! But if you’re looking MLB to expand their use of instant replay, Commissioner Bud Selig says you’re barking up the wrong tree: “I’m quite satisfied the way things are. We need to do a little more work, clean up some things. But do I think we need more replay? No. Baseball is not the kind of that game that can have interminable delays.” Ehhhhhhhhh! Wrong again, Commissioner.

Because if there’s one thing we all know about baseball, it’s how crisp and tight the game is. The next postseason game that you play in under four hours…will probably be the first!

I wouldn’t be too concerned about any interminable delays. Instead, concern yourself with the players deciding postseason games and not the umpires. And there’s nothing more played and more tired than the argument the human element is important. Yeah, right up until the second it costs someone a playoff game or series. The human element is important, but not nearly as important as getting the call right. Having HD, every angle imaginable, and super slo-mo means never having to miss a call. Instant replay has worked flawlessly on home runs, just expand the list of reviewable plays to close calls on the bases, fair and foul balls. And whether a batter is hit by a pitch or not. And leave judgment calls alone!

There’s no clock in baseball. No one cares if the slowest game ever takes another 5 or 7 minutes, but we all care about some ump butchering a call costing someone a game. Join the rest of us in the 21st century…Bud. You have the technology, use it!

Oakland Raiders are like a scrimmage

Recent Rome Take

Don’t be surprised if the New York Giants look especially sharp against New Orleans this weekend. After all, they are benefitting from an extra week of practice. Sure, the schedule says they played the Raiders last Sunday, but Giants’ linebacker Antonio Pierce says it was nothing more than a glorified walk-through: “I don’t like knocking teams, but right now they’re struggling. We’re playing the game the other day and honestly, it felt like a scrimmage, like a practice. It felt like we were going against our offense as far as tempo.” First of all, beginning a statement with, “I don’t like knocking teams, but …” is like starting one with “no disrespect intended, but…” someone is about to be disrespected. And, an NFL team is about to be knocked! And the Raiders just were.

And he’s right! Raider week has become a bye week. That game had all the familiar signs of a practice or a scrimmage. The Giants’ number one’s got their reps in, then beat it out of there and watched from the sideline. They played to a thud instead of live tackling. All that was missing was JaMarcus Russell rocking a red jersey and simulating the Q.B. of the upcoming opponent!

The Raiders front 7 may as well have been holding blocking pads for the Giants O-line. Or better yet this Sunday, raider coach Tom Cable (if he’s free on his recognizance) should just line up a blocking sled on the line of scrimmage and make the Eagle’s O-line drive that off the ball. And then he can put the “Blaster” at the linebacker level! And then some tires to run through back in the secondary.

Trust me, any of those obstacles would have provided more resistance than anyone in the silver and black did against the Giants Sunday.

Look, I really don’t like knocking teams, but if opponents are accusing the Raiders of being nothing more than a scout team in Week 5, imagine how awesome the next three months are going to be!!! It’s going to the point where the Raider game is my most important game every Sunday. I can’t wait for the flex schedule to kick in, so we can watch their scrimmages on Monday night.

Back to the Beginning (Mario Kart Song) (Live)

House of Heroes

Shaken

I think Jay Nordlinger from National Review Online sums up everything I have left to say on Rush and the NFL:

Frankly, I’m so angry about this, I’m not sure I should write about it. I’m even a little shaken, and perhaps you are, too. Let me be blunt: The effort to keep Rush Limbaugh from participating in a bid on a football team was disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. For many years now, we have witnessed an attempt to banish Rush to the margins of American life. To make him a pariah in our society, a non-person. In recent times, this effort has been led by the White House itself. The Left at large is portraying Rush as unfit to be part-owner of a football team, or to do much else in American life. This is why I was pleased when he was named, just the other day, a judge in the Miss America contest: It was evidence that the effort to ostracize Rush was failing. The anathematization of him was not complete. But, after this football thing, as I have said, I find myself a little shaken. Like you, quite possibly, I have read newspapers from front to back for many years. And the news — or at least opinion journalism — is my business. It takes a hell of a lot to shake me. Most things are yawny, even when they’re evil. But this Rush-NFL thing has shaken me, just a bit.

Also, it's a shame Wilbon was one of the people attacking Rush, though at least he did admit when he used a fake quote on PTI. It doesn't surprise me at all the Drew Sharp was.

Umpires? We don't need no stinkin'...

The Wall Street Journal has an article up about baseball and umpires, triggered by the blown call on Joe Mauer's 11th-inning "foul" hit against the Yankees. It poses a question I wondered about myself this week: why isn't technology used more in the MLB? For example, here's an excerpt:

Mike Port, vice president of umpiring for MLB, says that when it comes to calling balls and strikes, the umpires are about 95% accurate. But here's the interesting part: The Pitch-f/x system's ball and strike calls are very near 100% accurate.

Bud Selig says "the human element is vital to baseball." Why? What's so great about 5% error? I'm not saying umpires should be completely replaced with technology, but baseball, unlike, say, football, is made up of many calls that are simply "in" or "out," ones and zeros. A computer can handle that, and do it really well. A foul ball, a strike or ball, these are simple things that don't need to be missed. Leave the judgment calls to the umpires, but let computers handle the digital stuff.

Special

UM punter Zoltan Mesko won Big Ten special teams player of the week for this week. I was disappointed by this, because when I saw the headline I was really hoping he won for best name in college football.

Say Hello To The Bad Guy

Big, bad Rush Limbaugh's declaration that he is part of an ownership group that hopes to buy the Rams has the NFLPA executive director, Al Sharpton, and left wing sportswriters stamping their collective feet at the idea of Rush being a (partial) NFL owner. Here's the reason: Rush is an incredibly popular conservative. That's it. The Left hates Rush, everything else is just window-dressing. Page 2's Jeff MacGregor demonstrates this well as he describes Rush as drawing on "populist anger", "keeping folks preoccupied with their hurts and resentments", and "peddling blame". Which just goes to show that, like most of Rush's critics, he has no clue what he's talking about. Rush is whatever he needs to be so the Left can feel righteous.

Now, the one thing you're going to hear a lot about is the McNabb comment, so here it is to refresh your memory:

Sorry to say this, I don't think he's been that good from the get-go. I think what we've had here is a little social concern in the NFL. The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. There is a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve. The defense carried this team.

This is interesting because I just heard a commentator say yesterday how important it was the McNabb had a good game, otherwise the fans might clamor for Kevin Kolb to start. If you remember, there was never any real discussion of the actual point made (I'm open to correction on this point, but I certainly don't remember seeing any). ESPN and sportswriters were offended at the suggestion that they aren't impartial arbiters of sport and didn't want to discuss how they might influence the opinions of fans. Plus he said "black", so that set off all the PC meters. You'll notice we don't talk about McNabb being overrated anymore, because he failed to win the Super Bowl and is down the list of "elite" QBs. So, maybe Rush was right.

Like he usually is.

Highlights

Workflow

This Dilbert strip made me think of work:

Not Funny

I have to say, it's a joke that local NFL game is over, there's no other game on, the Cowboys and Chiefs are in OT, and Fox says contractually they can't switch to that game. Here's a news flash: that doesn't make me more likely to go out and buy DirecTV, it makes me more likely to quit watching the NFL.

Why Wait?

If Obama can win the Nobel Peace Prize for the whole 10 days he was in office before the deadline, then I think we should probably award Michael Crabtree the NFL Rookie of the Year award. After all, experts thought he was the best WR in the draft. Do you really need to know more?

Upset

Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski was "upset" with Miguel Cabrera after his night of binge drinking that left him with a blood alcohol level of .26 and potentially buzzed for a critical game. You think?

Playoff!?!

The Tigers managed to not quite blow it today, so they will play the Minnesota Twins on Tuesday at the Metrodome. There's nothing like October baseball... indoors.

Since I referenced it in the title:

Pink?

Supporting breast cancer awareness is a worthy cause, but does it make much sense for the NFL to be pushing it? The audience must be at least 60% male. The pink gloves, hats, etc look pretty silly too. I'm not sure who they're scoring points with, but it's not their normal viewers.

Also, to further the point about commercials in NFL games, it took 4:25 from when the Lions scored their second TD for the Bears to get their next offensive snap. There was approximately 20 seconds of time in there for the kickoff.

I Love Big Bird

Frustrating

Definitely annoyed that ESPN says they have the Twins-Tigers game on, but instead they're running ESPNews. Good thing I can watch it online.

Lions Win, 19-14

I knew the day had to come eventually, but it's a bit shocking for it to finally be here.

UPDATE: Just for reference, the Lions' last win came on 12/23/2007 against the Chiefs.

UPDATE 2: Here's the what the Detroit News has to say.

Awful

The Lions are featured in the Wall Street Journal today, unfortunately it's for being horrendous at playing defense.

Sleep Apnea

"Those guys drive me crazy."

This Sears commercial restores some of my respect for Brett Favre:

If you were a Star Wars fan...

...you'd think this was hilarious:


You can see the photographer's Flickr stream here.

UPDATE: A little context:

So, anyone want UM-MSU tickets?

Because after the loss to ND, can't imagine that I'm going to go.

Punch Out

The Detroit News picked up on a story from the South Bend Tribune about video of UM's Jonas Mouton punching ND's Eric Olsen. Here's the video:



When Coach Rodriguez was asked about it today he said, "The little bit of the clip I saw, guys got tangled up and Jonas was trying to free himself." Now, I'm a little biased, almost as much as Rodriguez himself, but that looks an awful lot like a cheap shot to the throat to me. Thoughts?

UPDATE: Maybe I am a whiny Spartan fan, but I'm also right. Mouton was suspended for one game today by the Big Ten. This could be a big deal, except that UM is playing EMU.

Wildcat

Speaking of the Journal, there's also an excellent article up about the history of the Wildcat offense. The author seems to think the Wildcat could end up being more than a fad in the NFL. I'm not sure, but I'm for anything that shakes NFL offenses up.

Serious

You want a sure sign that fantasy football has really arrived? How about an article in the Wall Street Journal? Not an article about fantasy football, but an actual advice column.

?

As I was driving back to Iowa I listened to part of the broadcast of the DET-NO game. I can't remember if it was on the broadcast or actually from the game, but I definitely heard "Rock You Like A Hurricane" playing before kickoff. The game was at the Superdome. In New Orleans. Does that seem right to you?

And since I brought it up:

Under the Bus

I really liked this picture, created by a reader of The Corner to be the International Symbol for being "thrown under the bus."

Stat of the Day

Not actually a record you want.

According to Wikipedia: Damion Easley, former Detroit Tiger, at the end of the 2008 regular season, held the record among active players as the one who had played the most games without reaching the postseason (1,706 games).

But...this isn't so bad:

On August 2, 2007, Easley became the 24th player in Mets' history to hit an inside the park home run (against the Milwaukee Brewers), during a 12-4 victory. (He would have been 37 years old. I hope I can still run 360 feet when I'm 37.)

Not for the Squeamish

Don't know if you heard about this, but I hope you aren't eating anything. I'm kinda sensitive about my own teeth.

Guess you would call him a "breast man."

Draft Prep

Here's a link to the draft sheet in excel format. Here's the source at Foxsports.

Boom!

In the months since January I'd forgotten just how much I love college football.

"Those who stay really, really late will be champions."

I think Bob Wojnowski is on target with this column.