Not Funny

I know it's childish, but I did smile just a little when I saw this story linked on ESPN.com's front page as "Yankees lose Wang for at least 6 weeks." It's only funny for the Yankees' misfortune though, not for, well, you know.

ALL ABOARD

Has anyone pulled a hamstring jumping on the Detroit Tiger bandwagon? It's starting to get crowded on here. In case you've missed it, the Tigers are rolling on a six game win streak and 8 out of 10 to finish their homestand before heading to San Fran, the Rainbow nation.

A "Dirty" Father's Day

I don't know about you, but my gift for my dad will "blow your [gift] off" compared to mine! That's right, I got my dad the Clint Eastwood Dirty Harry Ultimate Collector's Edition.

Lobstermen

I just saw a TV listing for Lobstermen: Jeopardy at Sea, then saw it was on the Discovery Channel and thought, "Hmmm, probably not as cool as it first sounded."

It's Back, Baby!

Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Football 2008 is open for sign-up. Go here to register. The league ID number is 15503 (I suck, the notification came out between lunch and the end of the work day), the password is, well, you know what it is. Everyone is invited automatically who played last year. If we need to add or drop players let me know and I'll take care of the invites. The draft is set to offline, so where are we having the draft party?

Phrase of the Week

"Weaponized bedpost." Courtesy of Jim Rome, via Ump (should it be "Coach" now?).

Kobe and KG should just play H-O-R-S-E

Another great take from Jim Rome, especially because it's about soccer:

You may have missed it and consider yourself lucky if you did! But, Manchester United beat Chelsea on penalty kicks to win the UEFA Championship. I know, “shocking” that the score was still tied at the end of regulation! Even more “shocking” that it was a scoreless tie! And, how fitting that they would decide arguably the biggest game of the year on penalty kicks?! I mean, how “soccer of them”!

Nothing like playing the entire game and then two O.T.’s…and then deciding the championship on penalty kicks?! That would be like Game 7 of the World Series going to extra innings, and “dragging” the pitching screen out to the mound for a little “Home Run Derby”. If the Spurs and Lakers go to Game 7 in their series, I don’t think David Stern is going to have Tim Duncan and Kobe Bryant play a “game of horse” to decide who goes to the finals.

Look, I’m sure the “cats” playing the game are as bored as the rest of us watching it, but how do you decide the title on kicks? Why not come up with something a little less random like, I don’t know, “flipping coins”?! Or, a “rock, paper, scissors” competition?! Anyway, congratulations to “Man U”, your goalie guessed right one more time than their goalie did.

And as always “soccer fan”, let me save the trouble…I know, I just don’t get it. You’re right! I don’t! That’s my point! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I don’t get it. And, I hope I never do!

Does soccer teach anything about life and fighting through it?

Internal Cover-up?

Another interesting take from Jim Rome a few weeks ago:

The only thing more incredible than the Patriots possibly getting caught cheating…again…is that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell may not do anything about it. Goodell has said he’ll investigate former Pats’ employee Matt Walsh’s claims the team was practicing players on the I.R., but that he wouldn’t penalize them further even if the claim is corroborated.

For one, it has been corroborated. Former NFL OT turned media member Ross Tucker said he saw the Patriots do it when he played for them. And secondly, if it is true, not “hammering” the Pats for it would be Goodell’s worst move since he destroyed the tapes. This isn’t Spygate. If the Pats are doing it and have been doing it, it’s even worse! It’s cheating, just as rolling tape on the opposition’s defense is, but there’s a much greater advantage to be gained by doing it! Players on the I.R. are not allowed to play in games or practice. Letting them do so, enables you to develop them and help them improve. Plus, it keeps the vets fresh who don’t take all the extra practice reps. It makes your team better. It’s a huge competitive advantage. That’s why they don’t let you do it.

And, if it’s worse than Spygate, how can Goodell justify “hammering” the Pats for that, and then do nothing about this? The answer is he can’t. And the reason he’s not, is the same reason he destroyed those tapes in the first place. There’s something he doesn’t want us to know. The integrity of the game is at stake! And so is the Patriots legacy and rep.

Hearing this, you can’t help but wonder how many other ways the “Hoodie” may have cheated. He’s starting to look “serial”!

So, what doesn't Roger want us to know? What could he be covering up?

Batter Up

Check this story out. I read about this on the Jim Rome show website a few days ago:

Memo to low lives who burglarize homes: case them first! That way, you won’t break in on a professional athlete. Exhibit ‘A’; the two “knuckleheads” who tried to thieve Green Bay Packer Noah Herron’s home.

Herron was asleep upstairs when he heard glass breaking downstairs. With that…he immediately when into his “home invasion defense”! Right “out of the playbook” and “ran it to perfection”! First, he calmly called the police to let them know someone had broken into his house. Next, he unscrewed one of his bedposts. Then, waited until the intruders came into his bedroom and promptly smashed one in the head with it! “Owned”!

I wonder if a bunch of “mini Snickers bars” and “Jolly Rancher’s” hit the floor when he “cracked open that pinata”! That loser is still in the hospital and he got his dome split this past Saturday. The other genius was arrested outside the house! Again, criminals: case the joint first! You shouldn’t be messing with NFL’ers, but if you’re going to rob one, check the schedule and make sure its’ the off-season or they’re out of town! You don’t do it right in the middle of OTA’s when the homeowner is sure to be there.

Who knows, maybe I’m not giving them enough credit. Maybe, they thought they could handle a 7th rounder, from Northwestern, who goes 5-11, 215. If they did, they were wrong! Not with Noah Herron ready to take some “B.P.” with his bedpost. Next time, “target the punter” or “place kicker”! I love Noah Herron! He protected his house by “weaponizing” his bed. Dude keeps a bedpost on his nightstand! “Bedpost…Boom…Outta’ here!"

What do I need to sleep with a bat under my bed for?

Around Detroit

According to the Detroit News, Michael Curry will be introduced as the new coach of the Pistons at a press conference tomorrow. I guess they weren't looking for a guy with experience?

In Red Wings news, Dominik Hasek announced his retirement after 16 seasons as an NHL goalie. Hasek isn't exactly leaving on top after being replaced by Chris Osgood near the beginning of the playoffs, but how many chances do you get to leave after hoisting the Cup?

"Lady of Spain"

I saw this and thought of Grant:

What you need to know...

...about Lord Stanley's Cup, courtesy of the Detroit News. A sample of the interesting facts:

- The first US team to win the Cup was the Seattle Metropolitans.
- Scotty Bowman's name appears on the Cup 9 times, more than any other coach.
- It takes 13 years to fill the ring of the Stanley Cup.

O

This is pretty funny:


Go to Libertas to get the story behind the picture.

I want one.

Hat tip: John Derbyshire at The Corner.

Osgood Interview

I assume you've all seen this:

?

Here's a question I'd bet you've never asked yourself: Do vampires have rights? (Hat tip: Jonah Goldberg at The Corner, twice)

Woooooohooooo!

Wings win.

UPDATE:

Flipped

Okay, now that Dumars has tossed coach Flip Saunders, who else are the Pistons going to get rid of? Dumars said: "Make no mistake, everybody's in play now." The consensus seems to be that Rasheed will be dealt (I think I should take the time to note that bringing in Wallace was not the disaster I thought it would be; all things considered, it was a pretty successful move). Here's the most notable names on Detroit's roster:

Chauncey Billups
Rodney Stuckey
Lindsey Hunter
Tayshaun Prince
Antonio McDyess
Richard Hamilton
Rasheed Wallace
Theo Ratliff
Jason Maxiell

Would Dumars really part with Prince, Billups, or Rip? If so, who is out there that's worth pursuing? It doesn't seem to me there's a guy like Garnett available so that the Pistons could go out and copy the Celtics.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Crap.

Full-Body Shimmy

This article seems to me to speak the truth about the Lions:

What have the Lions done to get better? The running back situation is a multi-headed crapshoot. The offensive line is average at best. And the defense is merely a collection of former Buccaneers who, if they were great players, would be current Buccaneers.

Picking the Lions to miss the playoffs hardly represents a full-body shimmy onto a rubbery tree limb. However, it’s important to nip in the bud the annual sense that the law of averages will come into play and that this year will be the year for the Lions.

Ouch.