New Super Mario Bros.

I just saw a commercial for the New Super Mario Bros. I want it. It's old school Mario action. And you can play as a giant Mario and destroy everything in your path. Everything you never knew you always wanted in a Mario game. Sigh. My poor wallet.

Around the NFL

Some news from around the NFL:

-The Dolphins have signed Marcus Vick. Mark my words, the Fish will regret this move before the end. Marcus hasn't changed, but he's suckered some people in. Of course if Nick Saban takes a fall, I can't say it will hurt my feelings much.

-The Lions have re-signed Jeff Backus, their best lineman. Took them long enough to make the right move.

-Doug Flutie has decided to retire. If you can't go out on top, I can't think of a better way to leave than that drop-kick.

-Joey Porter has plans to be an idiot. To the president. Because apparently winning the Super Bowl and going to the White House for a celebration earns you the right to have a one-on-one complaint session. Running your mouth to reporters is one thing, to the president is something else entirely. I hope his ego is actually this big and some Secret Service agents take him down. Moron.

Flying Monkeys

You have to love a comic that features flying monkeys emerging from certain orifices. Check out today's Dilbert.

Re: Mass Effect

I kinda like this character myself. By the way, spend that money Adam. You need to spoil yourself, because you can't forget to look out for #1. Someday, I don't know, perhaps there might be someone who thinks you should spend your "toy" money elsewhere.

Mac vs. PC

I'm not a big fan of Macs, or Apple in general. I'm also not usually a fan of ads where one company directly attacks another. So you can guess that I'm really not a fan of the latest Mac commercials. This comic from Ctrl+Alt+Del pretty well sums up what I've been thinking.

HK-47 Quotes

I don't think I really explained how cool HK-47 is in my previous post about Mass Effect. You really need some examples of his dark humor to really appreciate him. So, here's some quotes:

HK-47: Statement: HK-47 is ready to serve, master.
Revan: You don't need to call me master, you know.
HK-47: Query: Don't I? I was under the assumption that organic meatbags such as yourself enjoyed such forms of address.
Revan: "Organic meatbags?"
HK-47: Retraction: Did I say that out loud? I apologize, master. While you are a meatbag, I suppose I should not call you as such.
Revan: You just called me a meatbag again!
HK-47: Explanation: It's just that... you have all these squishy parts, master. And all that water! How the constant sloshing doesn't drive you mad, I have no idea...
Revan: Neither do I, come to think of it...
HK-47: Statement: Now do you understand the travails of my existence, master? Surely it does not compare to your existence, but still...
Revan: I survive. Somehow.
HK-47: Commentary: As do I. It is our lot in life, I suppose, master. Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?

HK-47: Can I break his neck now master? It's been a long time fantasy of mine...
Revan: Maybe later...
HK-47: Did you hear that meatbag? "I'LL BE BACK!"

[Speaking with a Jawa who refers to 'Ghosts in the desert']
HK-47: Explanation: Two per cent probability that the miniature organic is simply looking for trouble and needs to be blasted. That may be wishful thinking on my part, master.

HK-47: Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope... Love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticule, and together, achieving a singular purpose against statistically long odds.

Additional Voices: There's something out there... it got the other submersible already.
HK-47: Suggestion: Perhaps we could dismember the organic? It would make it easier for transport to the surface.
Additional Voices: Hey! Y-you... you can't rip me to pieces! I'll die!!
HK-47: Amendment: I did forget that. Stupid, frail, non-compartmentalized meatbags!

HK-47: Suggestion: Electrocution work well. Evisceration and Decapitation are also effective, or, um, so I've heard.

HK-47: Statement: HK-47 is ready to serve, master. Observation: Notice that I did not ask if you need anyone killed. You may be curious as to why. Answer: That is because you told me to stop asking if you needed anyone killed. So I have. From now on, I will simply say, "I am ready to serve." Yes, ready to serve. In whatever way a common protocol or utility droid might serve. It seems that is my lot in life. Not to kill.

HK-47: Statement: Pain is really the only reliable means by which truth may be obtained. Or so I choose to believe.

I'm not sure that does him justice, but it's a start. You can here him in another quote here. Also, here's a Jolee Bindo quote, just for kicks:

Jolee Bindo: I guess you could say I did it all for the Wookiees.
Revan: The Wookiees?
Jolee Bindo: The Wookiees!

It's Early

It's really too early for preseason rankings to amount to anything. They're silly at this time of year. And also mandatory. Here are some from Charles Robinson of Yahoo Sports, who happens to be my favorite writer on Yahoo. It has nothing to do with the fact that he's a fellow Spartan alum. Really.

Mass Effect

Bioware is my favorite video game developer. They made Knights of the Old Republic, which is probably my favorite game ever. I've played that game for over 100 hours easily. During the Christmas break when I first had a chance to play I only took a break to eat, sleep, and let Andy have a turn. It has three of the best Star Wars characters ever in it: Jolee Bindo, Canderous Ordo, and HK-47, who is himself possibly the best SW character ever. Most of the movie characters aren't near as cool as these guys. They also made the game Jade Empire which I'm also a big fan of. It's nearly as addictive as KOTR even though I wouldn't be as inclined to be interested. Great game. Both games were widely considered the RPGs of the year when they came out.

So where's the news? Bioware is releasing a new game, Mass Effect, on the Xbox 360. Which is bad news in a way: it's going to suck up many hours of my life and many dollars out of my pocket to buy a 360. Sigh. But I don't think I've ever been so excited about a video game. You can see a trailer and pics at IGN, where this pic is from.

Finally

Joey Harrington has finally been traded to the Miami Dolphins. The Lions will receive an undisclosed draft choice. Without recapping the entire offseason, let's just say getting rid of Harrington has been a huge mess. I'm not hugely anti-Millen like some are, but this surely wasn't a skillful trade.

In celebration...

...of Big Ben's fourth defensive POY award, a Ben Wallace wallpaper:


Enjoy.

Make Room

Ben Wallace needs another spot in his trophy case. Today, he became only the 2nd player to win NBA defensive player of the year honors 4 times (the other is Dikembe Mutombo). You can read quotes from the press conference here. Congratulations to Big Ben.

Turn your hamster...

...into a fighting machine! This is awesome:


Hat tip: The Corner.

Civil War

Let me ask you a question. How many times do comics get mentioned in the New York Times (not that I actually have much respect of that paper, but it's usually not into such things)? Well, Marvel's "Civil War" summer event has managed that feat (there's also a newer story I couldn't find a link to). It's also been mentioned on NPR and ABC News. Pretty decent press for comics. If you want to see a preview of the story, click here.

Bizarre Stat Line

Here's an interesting excerpt from Jim Caple's column on ESPN.com's Page 2:

You don't see lines like the one Seattle starter Joel Pineiro produced Monday night very often:


9 IP, 9 H, 2 R, 2 ER, 0 BB, 0 K


A complete game without any strikeouts is pretty rare. But a complete game without any strikeouts or walks? According to Elias, the last time a pitcher pulled that off was in 1994 when Pedro Astacio did it. The last American Leaguer to do it was Bill Wegman in 1992.

Fascinating.

Poor Babies

The Lions will lose two days of minicamp next week after the NFLPA and Management Council ruled in favor of a grievance filed by players that the Lions broke the rules pertaining to offseason workouts. This likely means workouts were too strenuous or meetings were too long. The players will of course be paid their daily $110 stipend. As the linked article above states, this is a great start for the worst team in the league over the last 5 seasons. They may have had a legitimate complaint, but all they've done is confirm to Lions fans that they don't want to work. It must be tough having 3+ months off a year.

This article talks about Charles Rogers and his changing role in the new offense. Supposedly he will look more like he did at MSU, streaking down the field to catch TDs. Since the only players streaking in Mooch's offense were defenders running an intercepted ball back this could be a nice change. It also mentions that some experts think the fact that top draft choice Ernie Sims had 5 concussions in his career so far could be a serious concern. No kidding. I'm sure Sims will be a lights-out player in no time.

Leinart seeing Paris?

Well, that's the rumor. Would this really be a good idea for Matt Leinart? I mean, sure, she's rich, and reasonably attractive. But if it's hot chicks you're looking for, I'm sure Matt could find hotter young starlets. Hard to beat the money, but how many millions do you need? And then there's that stupid little dog...

Baseball Buddy Trip

Here's an article on Yahoo Sports about taking a "baseball buddy trip." There's schedules and everthing. All I can say is we're way ahead of the curve on this one.

18-1

It's a good thing I haven't switched allegiances in moving to the Twin Cities or the 18-1 shellacking of the Twins by the Tigers would really hurt. This was the most runs scored by the Tigers since Aug. 8, 2001. The last time they won by 17 was April 17, 1993. ESPN has more stats here.

NFL Draft Observations

-Is there a more annoying commentator than Michael Irvin? Seriously, the guy makes all sorts of big statements, but couldn't defend an argument to save his life.

-If Leinart falls to #9, would the Lions take him? I'm not sure how I'd feel about that.

-In 10 years Leinart will be thought of as a better QB than Vince Young. Unless he goes to the Lions, in which case all bets are off.

UPDATE 1: I'm glad Matt Leinart wasn't selected by the Lions. I think he's going to be a great player, but I'm sure the Lions would've ruined him.

-I think I would have preferred Chad Greenway to Ernie Sims, but what do I know?

-If I was an owner of a team, I wouldn't want my players on ESPN speculating about who the team should pick. It just seems like a way to cause trouble later.

UPDATE 2: I didn't think the Lions needed another RB, but I'm kind of excited about Brian Calhoun. The first thing I think of when I hear his name is that he scored 5 TDs in one game for Wisconsin. Some compare him to Warrick Dunn. If Kevin Jones can can get it going this year and he has a guy like Calhoun to spell him, maybe the Lions can develop a real running game.

With the first pick...

The Texans have defied the conventional wisdome surrounding this draft and selected DE Mario Williams with the first pick. Len Pasquarelli thinks it's a stupid decision. Williams is being compared to Julius Peppers and even Lawrence Taylor, but he wasn't dominating in college. As Pasquarelli notes, "He had sacks in just 16 of his 36 appearances for the Wolfpack." In the economy of today's NFL a star DE is probably worth more than a star RB, and harder to replace, but the fact that we're talking about potential vs. amazing skills means Mario Williams might become the most harshly criticized draft pick since Darko if he can't perform.

Wii?

Apparently Nintendo officially announced the name of their next generation console yesterday. It had been going by the code name "Revolution", which sounded pretty cool. Not short, but it held the promise of Nintendo making progress at getting away from its kiddie image. But Revolution has been scrapped for, wait for it... Wii. Sounds like "we". Or maybe wee. Sigh. Nintendo never ceases to amaze with their marketing skills, or their uncanny knack for making bad choices.

Mountain Dew

I don't have anything interesting to post today, but I felt the need to mention Mountain Dew. Did you know MD was originally marketed as "zero proof moonshine." Or that the Dew sold in Canada and Australia is caffeine-free (What's the point, really!?!) More Dew facts at Wikipedia.

Draft Profiles

With the NFL Draft only a week away the buzz is starting to intensify. While that can become pretty annoying, there are some good articles out there about the soon-to-be NFL stars. Here's one from Len Pasquarelli about RB DeAngelo Williams, and another from John Clayton about TE Vernon Davis. Take note of both, you'll surely hear much more about them next season.

Wallpaper 4-22-06

The Grid from Digital Blasphemy.

"I don't have the money WITH me."

I'll admit that I'm a bit of a geek. Maybe more than a bit, especially when it comes to Star Wars. But, I usually don't go for high-end collectibles. They look cool, but it's pretty hard to justify dropping $100+ on a decoration. But these bookends from Gentle Giant might be able to change that. Solo even looks like Harrison Ford, which doesn't happen in most Han Solo collectibles. At least it doesn't come out until October, so I'll have plenty of time to set aside some cash.

Wings Win!

The Red Wings just won their opening playoff game 3-2 in double OT on Kirk Maltby's second goal. Detroit outshot Edmonton 57 to 25, but Oilers goalie Dwayne Roloson kept them in the game with 54 saves. Robert Lang had the other goal for the Wings.

Can they do it?

Could the Pistons and Red Wings pull off an unprecedented feat by winning both the NBA Championship and the Stanley Cup? Both teams aren't just good, they're the top seeds in their respective playoffs, which is unprecedented in itself. Read the article for a far better set up than I can provide.

Secret Passageways

This settles it: I need to build a house. Found at the Corner.

Re: A First Place Moment

Not only did Detroit have 3 professional teams in First place yesterday until 3 pm, but when the Tigers were 5-0, Detroit had 3 professional teams not just in first place, but with the best record in their sport or tied for best record. Can a brother get a Boo-yah?

Drunken Lemurs

"Today I learned that people don't like drunken lemur analogies."

A First Place Moment

Some things are just too good to last. From approximately 10:30 pm ET last night until the end of the Tigers game this afternoon the Pistons, Red Wings, and Tigers were all in 1st place in their divisions. Of course the Tigers ruined this by getting walloped by the Wahoos. Sigh. Nothing gold can stay.

Old School

Check this out. You're sure to love it, especially if you're Haag.

Spring Scrimmage

The Spartans have completed their spring scrimmage and the defense is looking much improved. The kicking game is looking better as well as walk-on sophomore Todd Boleski was able to complete FGs from 40, 47, and 55 yards. This news is especially encouraging as these two areas have been a major part of the Spartans' struggles in the last half of the last two seasons.

And what crazy activity does John L. have planned for the summer? He's staying home with his wife as she undergoes treatment for breast cancer. I wonder if the TV announcers will tell us about that every game, or if they'll keep talking about Kilimanjaro? With that and the pressure of two consecutive poor seasons, there's plenty of pressure on Smith. But, in typical John L. fashion: "Who really cares? What you care about is those kids and what we're doing now. Hell, if I get fired, who cares? So just try to take care of today."

The Easter Bunny...

...Hates You!

Lions News

Mike Martz has made a big impression on the players after the Lions' three-day minicamp that ended on Thursday. Also, the Lions have re-signed safety Terrence Holt.

And now, deep thoughts with Jack Handy

Remember when the Tigers were 5-0?

Busch Stadium III

If you're like me, you knew the Cardinals were getting a new ballpark in St. Louis, but you didn't know it was opening now. You can see some pretty good pics of the new stadium here.

Power Up

This is the best prank ever. You make Mario-style question blocks out of cardboard and shiny paper, fill them with power-ups, then hang them out in public spaces. It funny and cool, unless people freak out. Which is, of course, what happened in the town in the story. Apparently they thought it was likely that Osama Bin Laden is into video game culture and would use question blocks as a cover for bombs, when obviously he would choose to use POW! blocks instead. You can see the site that inspired the prank here, which also provides materials so you can do it yourself. Not that I'm recommending that. Okay, I am. Go now.

Gotta wait another year

The NFL released the 2006 schedules today. You can check them out here...if I actually felt like adding a link to my post. But, good news for Adam. The NFL must have assumed you were getting a job transfer to Michigan, because that is the only way you'll see a Lion game on TV as MNF has once again given the Lions the shaft.

I'm So Sick

I recently bought the debut album of a band called Flyleaf. I had purchased their EP previously and was glad to discover that the band was able to fill a whole CD with good songs. Anyway, rather than tell you more about them, you can look and listen for yourself:

The Natural

There's an interesting article on ESPN.com by Len Pasquarelli about Reggie Bush. Matt Leinart also features, but it's mostly dealing with Bush. Apparently he's engaging in a way few players are, and he seems to have his head on straight. Recommended reading if you want to know more about the future 1st pick in the draft.

What if there was a draft and no one came?

That question was answered last night in the fantasy baseball league. Luckily, I think everyone ended up with pretty decent teams, though Joe is a little Tiger-heavy, which is quite the gamble. Go to the league home page to check it out.

Exploding Hamsters

I read this last night on NRO:

BY THE WAY... [Jonah Goldberg]
If you subscribed to NR digital not only would you gain the power to telekinetically explode hamsters at distances up to 100 yards*, you could also read my mag piece on isolationism.

* Note: no refunds will be offered in the unlikely circumstance you are unable to explode hamsters after the start of your subscription.

Now, I'm a subscriber, and I haven't been able to telekinetically explode hamsters. Well, come to think of it, I've been around guinea pigs and mice since I subscribed, but not hamsters. Hmm. I think I'm going to the pet store...

Hall of Fame Material

That's what Joe Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-mars is, according to a report from the AP. The official announcement will be Monday. Dumars was an all-star 6 times, a Finals MVP once, and he won the first NBA sportsmanship award, which now carries his name. He also won 2 championships as a player, and a third as the president of basketball operations with the Pistons. Congratulations Joe.

Wallpaper 4-1-06

Here it is:

Thoughts from the Week

There's been a couple things I wanted to comment on this week, but didn't take the time. Here they are now:

- Something awful happened this week; I agreed with the hatable Dan LeBatard. He made the comment "I like women, I like sports, but I don't like women's sports." Wilbon ripped him for it. I wholeheartedly agree. I'm glad there are women's sports, but I'm not interested. I also find it really frustrating when people try to guilt you into watching, or call you sexist if you don't. I skip the WNBA for the same reason I skip MLS: I just don't care. End of story.

- Jim Boeheim thinks the NCAA tourney field should be expanded. Boeheim's a great coach, but this is a stupid idea. Really. Obviously there would be huge logistical concerns. And there would still be teams left out, let's not kid ourselves about that. But those are side issues. Boeheim's main argument is that the success of mid-majors this year shows there are many teams out there who could win games in the tournament. He also noted on PTI that it's been a long time since teams have been added. Well, it hasn't been that long since an extra team has been added, but whatever. Time isn't much of an argument, so let's throw that out. So let's hit the main point, which revolves around George Mason's success, and a lack of understanding of how tournaments work. Was George Mason a Final 4 team most of the season? No, they really weren't that great. But they got real hot at the right time. Which demonstrates the primary characteristic of a tournament: it's not the best team that wins. This is especially true in basketball where the 3-pt shot is such an equalizer and one bad shooting night means doom. The Spartans should have beat George Mason in the first round, but they have one of the most lifeless and uninspired performances ever. Do you really think GM is better than Duke? We've decided a tournament is a fair way to determine the champion, but all it really determines is the survivor. Finally, do you really wanted to fill out more blanks in your bracket?

- I'm watching the 1988 #1 Notre Dame vs. #2 USC game on ESPN Classic. This is the kind of thing ESPN Classic should exist for, not all their stupid filler shows. It's refreshing to hear Griese and Jackson together, and not to hear from sideline reporters every 2 minutes. I'm convinced whoever sets up a system to allow complete college football games on-demand will make a mint, but apparently entertainment companies don't agree with me.

Funny

This picture was sent to me in an email at work this week:

Payback is...

The Seahawks have struck back against the Vikings. They signed WR Nate Burleson to an offer sheet on Friday. Minnesota can match the offer sheet, but they won't because it will cost them too much. Why? "Poison pills" in the agreement. An example: if Burleson plays more than 5 games in Minnesota any season of the contract, the entire $49 million becomes guaranteed. I can personally confirm that the Vikings are still in Minnesota, so this becomes an impossible deal to match. Of course, the Vikings should recognize this strategy, since they did exactly the same thing to the Seahawks with Pro Bowl guard Steve Hutchinson earlier in the week. Their poison pill said that if Hutchinson wasn't the highest paid lineman on the team, his $49 million salary was guaranteed. Not a problem for the Vikings, but Seahawks tackle Walter Jones would have been paid more. These poison pills have held up in arbitration, so this could change the way restricted free agents are treated in the NFL. Obviously, what the Vikings and Seahawks have done is against the spirit of the rules, and quite dirty. But it's unlikely anything will change until there's a new CBA, and since the ink isn't dry on the current one, that will be a while. It does beg the question: What's the strangest poison pill you can imagine?

Behind the Scenes

So, what exactly happened that Joey Harrington went from being the starting QB in Detroit, supported by coaches, to headed out of town? That's what this article in the Freep asks. It seems that it boils down to that Harrington wasn't willing to give total devotion to the team because the players who basically tried to stir up a rebellion against him last year, like Dre' "Useless Apostrophe" Bly, were still around. Interesting reading.

Free

Download old movies and other stuff, free and legal. Not sure if registration is required, I haven't tried it yet. Lots of bad old movies ( the killer shrews), and a few that are even recognizable (Nosferatu).

Na na na na...

...Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye Joey. ESPN is reporting that the Lions have signed free agent QB Josh McCown. Despite public support from Martz and Marinelli, this move almost certainly spells the end of Harrington's run in Detroit. So, who will be the new starter: McCown or Kitna?

Tourney Challenge

In case you haven't looked, I've started a Tourney Challenge group on ESPN as well as Yahoo. The one on ESPN is as usual, you should have an email about the Yahoo one. If not, let me know and I'll hook you up.

QB Shuffle

Free agency really heated up today. First, Jon Kitna agreed to a four-year deal with the Lions. Next, the Dolphins gave up on Drew Brees and acquired Daunte Culpepper for a 2nd-round draft pick. Apparently seconds later Drew Brees signed with the Saints. Got all that? The Lions also re-signed Kalimba Edwards.

The Lions now have 4 QBs on the roster: Joey Harrington, Jon Kitna, Shaun King, and Dan Orlovsky. Now the big question is whether Kitna, who had a great 2003 season before Carson Palmer became the starter, will unseat Harrington. Also, Orlovsky would seem to be in jeopardy of even making the team.

Finally, these moves will make the draft much more interesting. Most experts expected the Saints to draft Leinart with the #2 pick, but now it seems quite possible that they might trade down or take someone else. This could lead to one or two of the QBs, like Vince Young or Jay Cutler falling further than anticipated.

Grant: The Action Figure

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be immortalized in plastic? To join the likes of Samuel L. Jackson or Harrison Ford? Well Grant no longer has to wonder:


Okay, you might not be able to see as well in that pic, maybe this one will help:


If you're not convinced, I've seen it in person, so you'll have to take my word for it, the figure bears a strong resemblance to Grant, especially at the right angle. Sure, it doesn't have xylophone action, but it is still pretty cool. Two questions though: 1) Why is he Army infantry, and 2) will Noah be jealous? You can see more pics here.

NFL Moves

Roster moves in free agency are flying fast and furious. There's been many moves so far this weekend, but I'll only bring up the most notable. First, Edgerrin James has signed with the Cardinals. That loud thump you just heard was his fantasy stock hitting the floor. I guess we now know whether Edge wanted to win or to get paid. Good luck. I'm sure the Cardinals will be a trendy pick in the preseason, and then will be terrible. They have a nice new stadium though. Antwaan Randle El, the biggest name at WR in free agency, has reportedly signed with the 'Skins. Maybe Dan Snyder is trying to build a team rather than just buy one? Finally, Ron Dayne has elected to stay with the Broncos, making him the current favorite to be the starter at the most valued position in fantasy football, Denver RB. That could mark a big turnaround for Dayne, who's been a disappointment since he came into the league in 2000.

Mmmm... doughnut burger.

Now I'm not even attracted by the idea of a doughnut burger, but apparently the Gateway Grizzlies think their fans will be. The burger, which is a pattie topped with sharp cheddar and two slices of bacon between a Krispy Kreme doughnut, will have 1000 calories and 45 grams of fat. The team plans to sell it for $4.50, and it will only be available in the stadium. I guess the real question is: Will it be a match for the Roethlisburger?

Finally

The NFL, showing it was actually paying attention when the NHL nearly killed itself with labor problems, extended its CBA when the owners agreed to the players' proposal. Free agency will begin at 12:01 am Friday.

Brick

Yesterday I had a package arrive from home. It was a "flat rate" shipping box from the USPS, which means you pay one price for the box, no matter how much weight you put in it. There were assorted goodies, cookies, a shirt, etc. But none of those really took full advantage of the lack of weight restrictions. So what did my family find to put in it? A brick. But not just any brick:


Okay, it might not be THAT brick, but it is a brick from Sparty's pedestal. Maybe I'm just silly, but I think it's pretty cool.

RE: Motion Denied

That is awesome. Here's the footnote for those of you that are clicking impaired:

Motion Denied

because you're an idiot

-fed judge cites Adam Sandler in ruling.

The funniest thing I've seen all day...

...is right here. Check it out, you won't be sorry.

She's still around

You know the sadest part of the Olympics ending? No more Melissa Stark sightings. Oh wait, never mind. She just did a 4 minute "Sports Report" on NBC during the 3rd round coverage of Golf's Ford Championship. Whew! Well, I should probably stop posting for the day. I only have a 2 post limit for a week.

Actually what's sad is I spelled "saddest" wrong.

(Not) Hot Off The Press

Well, sorry it took so long to put up the infamous Tourney Bracket results. I know you've been wondering since filling out all your office pools. So, exactly one month later (and one reformated computer later) I can finally scan things back on my PC. Of course this was the #1 priority.

Optimistic about China?

Don't be. Unperforming loans, goverment control of industry, massive corruption. I wouldn't rush out to stake my long term financial plans on Chinese stability. Of course, many major companies dissagree and are falling over themselves to pour cash in (GM, call your office). End result: when China adjusts itself to whatever end, we all feel it. I may be doing some work over there in the near future, but we're selling to a foreign company, no long term involvment, basically grabbing some cash now and letting the Belgians worry about it.

Not on the Nightly News

Read this. Too bad no one will find out, as the news won't bother to report it. Even Fox news will probably be too busy with the latest pretty young woman getting murdered/disappearing.

Custom Hats

Ever wanted your own custom hat? Well, Lids has the tools you need. A few clicks and you can have your own custom cap. Or beanie. Or bucket hat. But not visor. And, yes, they do have monkeys available.

Idiots!

Fools. The NFL and the Player's Association failed to reach an agreement on a new CBA again today. This could lead to an uncapped year in 2007. For a league that seems to never make a wrong move, this is incredibly stupid. Hockey has provided a great case study in labor stupidity by both players and the league. A large part of the popularity of the NFL is based around its labor stability. Serious damage could be done to the league if this isn't figured out. This could be a disaster.

Wonderlicked?

There are rumors floating around that say Vince Young scored a 6 on the Wonderlic test on his first try, but then scored a 16 the second time around. A score of 20 is roughly equivalent to an I of 100, or average intelligence. There are also reports that the initial rumor was false. There are also rumors that Young may fall as far as #7 to the Raiders, though that's pure speculation.

Now, I've taken a Wonderlic test, so I can speak intelligently about it, though I don't know what I scored. You take a fifty-question test in 12 minutes; I'm pretty sure when I took it we were only given ten. Here's some example questions from this FoxSports article, which explains a little about the test:

Look at the row of numbers below. What number should come next?
8
4
2
1
1/2
1/4

In printing an article of 48,000 words, a printer decides to use two sizes of type. Using the larger type, a printed page contains 1,800 words. Using the smaller type, a page contains 2,400 words. The article is allotted 21 full pages in a magazine. How many pages must be in smaller type?

None of these are terribly difficult, but when you're rushing to get through them in the alloted time they are difficult enough. You might also notice that there's nothing football-centric about the questions. Apparently there are some that think the test is culturally-biased. I suppose that might be true, if stupidity is one of your cultural values. Let me clear though: I don't think Young actually scored a 6, unless the test was administered wrong or there were other extenuating circumstances. Mostly, I just think it's amusing how people get so worked up over this test when they have no idea what it is.

Uh...Haag?

Be careful, I think Noah can kill you with his mind.

Homeless?

No place to lay your head? Can't afford rent? Does GMC have the solution for you: the GMC Pad. It's like an RV, but "hip" and "modern". Or something. I guess it beats living in a storage unit. Questions as to whether GM could actually sell this thing are pointless since it's not even a true concept, and certainly not a production vehicle. It's the winner of the 2006 Design Challenge. It impressed because of the innovative concept, not necessarily its marketability. But maybe for roadtrips...

Football 101

Joey Harrington is going back to school. He was just enrolled in Professor Martz's class, Football 101. It starts March 6th, two weeks before any other team begins official workouts. Martz wants Harrington to get a head start on the new offensive system. Surely there must be some similarities to the previous West Coast system, right? "None," says Martz. "We're going to coach him like he's in high school." Sounds like fun. Harrington gets one more chance to prove he's the man. Can he come through?

The Big Board

There are already two teams in the fantasy baseball league, so it's time to drum up some more interest. You can see Brandon Funston's Big(ger) board here, a list of his top 100 fantasy baseball players. A preview:

1. Alex Rodriguez
2. Albert Pujols
3. Vladimir Guerrero

You can sign-up here.

Camaro Concept

Did you see Chevy's Camaro concept at the auto show last month? It looks like this:


You can see more on Chevy's official site. Bad news is that because no one in Detroit has any money so it won't be produced for quite a while.

Noah's a pussy

Come on Noah, come get me. I'm hiding in cyberspace. I can say anything I want. Na na na-boo boo.

More on Noah

This guy's a real celebrity! There was an article about him in a Naval Academy publication, which you can check out here.

Disturbing

Now that I'm something like a real engineer, a somewhat troubling thought has occurred to me. All the structures and devices our lifestyles and lives depend on are engineered. At some point in a project, every engineer has to make assumptions and says "Boy, I hope this works." or "I hope this doesn't blow up and kill everyone." These assumptions have varying degrees of validity. I'm becoming familiar with the WAG (wild ass guess). We actually use that as a note on calculating. Sometimes, you have to WAG like a golden retriever on prozac.

Who's surprised?

Noah Gould won the US open Karate tournament last weekend. I'm a bit short on details, but I'm told he won his weight class (Heavy), then beat the other champions to take the whole thing. For those who don't know, Noah made black belt before thanksgiving, having only started his freshman year (he's now a senior). That's fast (normally takes 5+ years).

Quantum Physicists just want to see if we'll actually believe it

"A non-running computer produces fewer errors," Yeah, obvious. The trick is getting answers out of it. They claim they can. Quantum physics, like the duck-billed platypus, is indisputable evidence the God does, in fact, have a sense of humor. And its really weird.

Ready for the draft?

No? Well I'm not quite yet there either, but as the Combine begins today it's time to start talking about it. To warm you up, check out this mock draft from Charles Robinson.

And the starter is...

Joey Harrington. Well, not officially of course. But sort of. The new Detroit coaching staff threw their support behind Harrington yesterday, meaning he will most likely stay in Detroit and they will not use their 1st round draft pick on a QB. The thought is that Martz can work his magic on Harrington and turn him into a Pro Bowl player. Well, maybe just a serviceable starter. Can we get Dre' Bly's opinion on this?

Ill-tempered Rodent

By now, you've probably heard about the altercation between an MSU student and a UM basketball player before the game on Saturday. You may have even seen video on ESPN. Now I don't think Mr. Brock should have been down on the court, which is a violation of the contract for his Izzone tickets, and especially shouldn't have been there drunk. But even so, Ba doesn't get a free pass. Brock could have been seriously injured and Ba had plenty of opportunities to get away from the situation. He looks like he was just trying to prove how tough he was. It's a good thing the stands were empty, because if the Izzone had a legitimate reason to attack a UM player they'd still be scrubbing him out of the concrete. UM guard Daniel Horton said: "We did everything we could to try and prevent it." Well, if "everything" means "nothing", then I'm sure that's an accurate statement. In the end both universities come up looking bad. Good job guys.

Deep Philosophy

Q. What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A. "Make me one with everything."

On presenting a $10 bill to the vendor, He asked for his change...the vendor replied "But change comes from within."

Detroit Sports Round-Up

A few interesting stories from the past week in Detroit sports:

-Here's an article about the future of Lions, and another more specifically about Harrington and Martz.

-A note here about how Milicic has no one to blame but himself for his lack of development.

-A story about how Flip Saunders plans to play all four All-Star Pistons at once and how team play might be coming to the NBA. Also has a picture of the AWFUL all-star uniforms. Yuck!

Irked

I haven't posted for a while, mostly because the sports world is largely focused on the Olympics, which I care nothing about. But I finally found something annoying enough to get me to post. It's right here. I know what you're thinking: "But that's only ESPN's NFL front page." Yup. And it annoys me. I'm not even talking about layout or intrusive video and ads. It's the Insider content that bugs me. ESPN has been pushing this paid content for many years, but I think it's gotten worse over the past year or so. It's especially noticeable during the NFL offseason where there's almost nothing you can read for free. It seems to be an attitude ESPN has, and it really irks me. They may be the the "worldwide leader is sports", but there are many other acceptable substitutes online. And if you start talking about fantasy sports, ESPN massive failure with free fantasy football last season put them far down the list. Anyway, I think I'm going to start checking Foxsports.com for my sports news first.

We don't need to stinkin' recoil operated autoloading mechanisms

Go watch this video. In-freakin-sane. Thankfully they run it at one half speed the second time. I can't imagine firing a revolver that fast, much less hitting anything.

Holy Terror, Batman!

Batman takes on Al-Queda! No, really. Frank Miller is half way through a new graphic novel were Batman defends Gotham from terrorists. Real world, arab, muslim terrorists. No swapping for neo-nazis or crazy Christians. Hearkens back to the days of Captain America and Superman pounding Hitler. I'll buy that.

I like to show off

In case anyone is interested, (or not, I'm going to post regardless), here is my new car.
2005 Grand Prix GT. Has a few options on it, didn't spring for the GTP with the supercharger, but it makes for a nice drive regardless.

Custom Candy Hearts

Valentine's Day is getting nearer and many people are looking for candy that expresses how they feel about a special person. Well, this site lets you put exactly what you're feeling on a candy heart. As you can see, I made one for Matt. Okay, so this site only makes a picture of a candy heart. Go here if you actually want custom candy hearts.

CC Ringtone

I was looking online at ringtones for my phone, thinking maybe I'd set up unique ringtones for each group (I can only do groups, not individuals). I was trying to figure out what song to use for the CC ringtone when I thought: "Why don't I let people vote?" So, what do you think? Here are a couple examples:

1. CC Fight Song (Northwestern Fight Song)
2. Enter Sandman Intro: Metallica
3. Thunderstruck: AC/DC
4. Good Riddance (Time of Your Life): Green Day
5. Brain Stew: Green Day
6. Dachshund "Weiner Dog" Barking (Okay, that one's just for Kevin)
7. 3am: Matchbox 20 (For Fritz, really)
8. My Hero: Foo Fighters
9. Brass Monkey: Beastie Boys (for Aaron)
10. Phenomenon: Thousand Foot Krutch
11. Chem 6A: Switchfoot
12. Hands and Feet: Audio Adrenaline

Okay, that's more than enough, I'm sure you get the idea. You can see the actual site here. In case you're wondering, I currently have Crazy Train by Ozzy, The Clincher by Chevelle, and the "Eat 'em Up" MSU cheer.

Finally

The Raiders have finally hired a new head coach, or rather an old one, Art Shell. They are the last NFL team to fill their head coaching vacancy. Two questions this brings to mind:

1. Does this mean we won't hear any more in the offseason about how awful NFL teams are because there aren't enough black coaches? Is 2/10 enough for the offseason? If not, how many? And aren't you then just asking for a quota?

2. How unappealing are the Raiders? I mean two of the guys that they interviewed elected to work for the Lions instead as either head coach or coordinator. The Lions. They would rather work for the Fords than for Al Davis. Makes you wonder.

Right On

You are so right about ESPN and women's basketball. Personally, I'm tired of ESPN telling me how I should follow and care about the sport. I imagine this has something to do with ESPN carrying the women's tourney. But, no matter how many times you talk about UConn and the Vols, or ask if Pat Summit is a better coach than Coach K, I just don't care. Even when I was on campus and the women's team was making a run at the title, I didn't care. I don't follow women's basketball, golf, tennis, or soccer. No matter how many stories ESPN features. Heck, I barely follow the men's games in those sports.

You know what else I don't care about, no matter how many times the TV says it's important? The Olympics. I'm fairly patriotic, but I refuse to watch a sport I wouldn't watch otherwise just because it's the Olympics. So maybe I'll pay attention to the hockey. Oh, by the way, figure skating is not a sport. Out.

ESPNEWS Headline?

This was the "headline" on the right side of ESPN's webpage. Click here for the "story." The title of the link in the "headlines" column said "No. 6 Maryland stuns No. 1 UNC women at home." Let me breakdown the sportgrammatical errors:

1. Nothing in womens basketball is considered "stunning." No one cares.
2. Nothing in womens basketball is worthy of being a "headline" in the "headlines" column. Again, no one cares.
3. Nobody even knew UNC was No. 1, let alone Maryland even had a womens basketball team.
4. In womens basketball, it doesn't matter where they played. Home...away...no one goes to the game regardless of where it is played. So, since that eliminates "the 6th man" advantage or home court advantage, there is no need to spice up the headline stating they lost a home game.
5. The fact that the link title didn't even say what sport it was, just saying "women" in the sentence immediately pointed to women's college basketball. If it was a men's headline, it would just say No. 6 John Doe stuns No. 1 UConn at home. We all know the sport. (Notice it is called NCAA and WNCAA on the bottom ticker?)

How Much Better?

Now that the Lions have hired Martz, the question is how big an impact will he have on the team? Of course with an all-new coaching staff it might be difficult to break out his individual contributions, but you can boil it down to this: What do you expect out of the Lions next year? On PTI, Kornheiser and Wilbon gave the Lions a 65% and 75% chance, respectively, of reaching the playoffs. Now any Lions fan will know how dangerous it is to be too optimistic, but this is coming from neutral observers. Could it be realistic? Well, no. Am I wrong?

Thank God It's Thursday, Again

According to ESPN and the Detroit Lions website, Mike Martz has been hired as offensive coordinator of the Detroit Lions. Did I just step into a time warp back to last Thursday? Apparently, somebody decided the deal needed to get done. I may have to take back some of the nasty things I said about Detroit management. Some. Maybe.

New MNF Team

You probably already know that Monday Night Football is moving to ESPN next season. What you didn't know is that the broadcast team will be all new, which ESPN announced today. Well, re-announced, since they'd already announced it after it was decided to move MNF to ESPN. Apparently Al Michaels had a change of heart, necessitating a larger change than was originally planned. The new team will be Mike Tirico as the play-by-play man with Joe Theismann and Tony Kornheiser providing color. Michelle Tafoya and Suzy Kolber will be on the sidelines, as they were at Super Bowel XL. I'm going to miss the Sunday Night crew of Mike Patrick, Theismann, and Paul Maguire, who I thought should have just been moved to MNF. They were one of my favorite broadcast crews ever, though I know they had their detractors. Those people suck. Patrick is a better play-by-play guy than Tirico, Theismann stays, leaving Tony as the wild card. I love PTI, which will be on the road with the crew for every MNF game, but I don't know how well Kornheiser can do color commentary. PTI works because of the interaction of Kornheiser and Wilbon, alone either of them might be good but not great. And, as Kornheiser said, speaking as Howard Cosell, people are going to throw bricks at their TVs so they don't have to see his ugly mug in HD. If nothing else, Best Buy will end up happy.

Fantasy Baseball

The league is up. The email from Yahoo:

Welcome to Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Baseball.

This is to confirm that you've created the Custom League named Cass City Monkies.

To allow other managers to join your league, send them the League ID# and Password. In your case, the ID# is 23429 and the Password is monkie.

You have chosen for your league to take part in a live online draft on Tue Mar 28 5:00pm PST. Until that time, you (and only you) can change the type of draft by using the Change Draft Type option found among your Commissioner Tools, which can be reached from your League Overview page.

If you choose to remain in a live draft, please arrive at the draft 10 minutes ahead of the scheduled time. The draft will start promptly and may conclude rapidly if only a few managers are logged in.

We also suggest that all league members pre-rank their players in case a manager can't make it to the draft. Managers can do this at any time by simply going to the Fantasy Baseball home page and clicking on their team name.

Thanks for joining. Good luck.

--Fantasy Baseball Commissioner
http://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1

Join if you're interested.

XL Thoughts

Some thoughts on the Super Bowl:

1. The officiating was pretty terrible, and all the calls went against Seattle. They blew too many opportunities to blame the loss on the calls, but it's enough to make you wonder.

2. What a great ending for Jerome Bettis, the best anyone could hope for. However, I don't think he's near as beloved in Detroit as the media says.

3. Joey Porter was shut down in the Super Bowl. That's satisfying.

4. Jerramy Stevens caught a TD pass, but also dropped 3 passes and was benched in the game. That's exactly how he played all season: making just enough plays to tease you into thinking he was going to break out.

5. The pass where Roethlisberger scrambled to avoid tacklers, check to be sure he was behind the line of scrimmage, and then threw the ball down to the 1 was a defining play for him. He played poorly overall, but that was a great play.

6. I love Randle El on trick plays. Absolutely one of my favorite things in the NFL to watch.

And the winner is...

Craig Emmert. After 4+ hours of Tecmo strategy, fun, throwing of controllers, food and really bad weather, Craig made it through the Tecmo Madness.

A few stats:
There were 15 people in the tourney, ages ranging from 9 to 33?

When each person arrived, they took a number (seed) out of the cool whip dish. Yes, the cool whip was all gone. So, 15 people meant one person got the bye...Craig.

For the night, Craig only had to play 4 games to take home the Championship trophy...Bobblehead. Craig finished 4-0.

On the other hand, Brad Speirs, 2nd place, had to play 8 games before he lost in the championship.

Host Nathan Haag, 4th place, had to play 6 games. He was knocked out by Brad Speirs:
49ers: 24
Oilers: 21

Biggest upset(s): 16th seed and 9 year old Tyler Brandel knocked off the #1 seed after coming back from being down two TD's. Tyler was the Giants. Following the win, Tyler then knocked off Nathan Haag, 22-21 on a 30-yard FG to win the game as time expired. By the way, Tyler made the Giants look like the 49ers passing offense:
Giants: 22
Bengals: 21

Other notables: Jason Pierce, O-G football coach, 3rd place.
Nathan Fritz: 1-2
Aaron Barrigar and Kevin Schott: 0-2

Teams used the most: 49ers, Oilers, Chiefs, Eagles/Giants/Bengals.
Yes, someone used the Lions. That's right, the Chiefs. In fact, the Chiefs were involved in the first 4 games played. I think the Chiefs were 0-4. I can't remember, they might have gotten a win.

I told Fritz on Wednesday I'd be happy if I finished in the top 5. However, the next night I "scrimmaged" Jason Pierce 4 times and won all 4 games, 3 of them using the 2nd player controller. Prior to that point, I had never beaten Jason and he was my pre-tournament pick to win it all. Side note, back at Christmas break, Jason whooped me 3 games in a row. So, after beating Jason Thursday night 4-0, I thought I had a better chance than Top 5 finish.

So yes, the 9-year old, comes to my house and beats me. Shows up the host. Now that just isn't Tecmo etiquette. However, in hind sight, it was the best thing that could happen. Tyler then had to play Jason Pierce (loss #1) then played Brad Spiers (loss #2). So, had I beat Tyler, I would probably been finished by Jason and Brad as well.

My biased opinion: This tourament was sweet. We even had a guy bring his own pool stick...check that, sticks. A "breaking" stick and the "regular" stick. He plays in a Bay City pool league, so he's pretty good. I didn't get to see him play though, too busy making sure the Tourney finished by 1 a.m. You know how in March madness every 5 minutes there is a game just about to end and it comes down to the wire or has an incredible finish? And then the TV station breaks into the next game about to finish, and then when that game finishes there is another game ready to end with both teams close? Are you picturing it? Like at a sports bar/restaurant, there are 4 tv's with a different NCAA game on each one so you can see all of them have great finishes? Well, that is exactly what the Tecmo Tourney was like. We had 3 rooms with a TV in each room with a Tecmo game being played. Even better was the fact all the games were staggered, so you could go into each room and see them all end individually. You never had to miss a finish. Every time you went into a room another game was coming down to a tight finish. And then boom, go into the next room for another one. Incredible!

See you in 2007!

Mike Martz

According to Ryan King on Saturday night..."they'll get him." Referring to the fact that the deal with the Lions didn't work out, but he will end up signing.

Nice Job

Mike Martz was ready to become the Detroit Lions offensive coordinator. The only hurdle remaining was to get a contract put together and signed. So what did the Lions front office do? They botched it, of course. They probably were unwilling to pay the money Martz wanted, reportedly an average of $1.5 million over 3 years. The possibility of Martz becoming the OC actually had me somewhat excited about the Lions again. Sure, he's nuts, but he's also an offensive genius, and it seemed like Marinelli would be able to keep him in line. Now it's much less likely that Martz will join the team. I may have to go find myself a "Fire Millen" t-shirt.

UPDATE: It's official, Martz has turned down the job. The money was the problem. I think the Lions had a real chance to change the franchise right here, and they blew it. They thought they had the right guy, but let a relatively small amount of money kill the deal. There's a reason they've been mediocre for 50 years.